New scary development for me.....
Aloha Annette...and thank you for responding. Yes, there are some unresolved issues happening in my life right now....and the temptation to put my head deeply in the sand is strong. So strong in fact that it was as if I was not in control driving to the store for wine. It has been years since alcohol was in my life, and for some reason it reared it's ugly head yesterday.
I will think about seeing a therapist. Having been one myself, I know that people can not see their own patterns sometimes without help.
Thank you so much for your support and caring.
Aloha nui loa,
Maui Karen
I will think about seeing a therapist. Having been one myself, I know that people can not see their own patterns sometimes without help.
Thank you so much for your support and caring.
Aloha nui loa,
Maui Karen
Karen,
While I'm not alcohol addicted, I'm in a slump with food addiction right now. Addiction is addiction. Since not going to WW anymore, I'm eating anything and everything in sight. I've gained 26 pounds since October, and I'm trying to get a grip and stop the negative behavior.
First off, get rid of the wine so it's not there to tempt you. Do you have a close friend you can call on the phone for support to help you work this through?
Hugs and prayers are coming your way. May God give you the strength needed to regain control. You did it for seven years, you can do it another seven. Hold your head up high, you've begun to heal by asking for support.
God Bless,
Debbie
While I'm not alcohol addicted, I'm in a slump with food addiction right now. Addiction is addiction. Since not going to WW anymore, I'm eating anything and everything in sight. I've gained 26 pounds since October, and I'm trying to get a grip and stop the negative behavior.
First off, get rid of the wine so it's not there to tempt you. Do you have a close friend you can call on the phone for support to help you work this through?
Hugs and prayers are coming your way. May God give you the strength needed to regain control. You did it for seven years, you can do it another seven. Hold your head up high, you've begun to heal by asking for support.
God Bless,
Debbie
I am sending you warm cyber hugs.
Karen, I have shared some of my history here on OH as well as with you, personally, and at this time I have not slipped into old bad habits, but I know that is a possibility for me, as I have an addictive personality that needs regular adjustments, which I get via my AA meetings.
What I can say to you is that only you know whether or not that is somewhere you want to be (AA). As time moves on in the process of recovery, sometimes we think we are "normal" (this also seems to be true of this WLS journey) which is what happened to me when I had a series of life changing events occur in 2003 (divorce, buying my own home in a new State where I knew no one but my son and his then future wife) and for a period of almost 3 years I tried being and living like "normies", not going to meetings, little by little all my old negative thinking came back and other than the drinking and illegal substances, my old behaviors crept in, and this would have been the ultimate bad decision, the idea of drinking began to appeal to me and it was a good friend who pointed out to me that she had tried social drinking and that 5 years later, she was still struggling with her sobriety, that scared me, but I still did not go back to meetings for a while, until I reached a place I knew I had been before, it was a dark scared place to be in, sober no less, so I went back to meetings. The disease of addiction is "dis ease" with ones self and lives in the mind of those who have it, I think Annette may have upon something in what she said in her post to you and more importantly you recognize and feel you need help, so from my point of view, AA might be a start in that direction.
The good news is you recognized your vulnerability and that is the first step towards taking your personal power back.
I love you my Sister and send you positive thoughts, Laureen
Karen, I have shared some of my history here on OH as well as with you, personally, and at this time I have not slipped into old bad habits, but I know that is a possibility for me, as I have an addictive personality that needs regular adjustments, which I get via my AA meetings.
What I can say to you is that only you know whether or not that is somewhere you want to be (AA). As time moves on in the process of recovery, sometimes we think we are "normal" (this also seems to be true of this WLS journey) which is what happened to me when I had a series of life changing events occur in 2003 (divorce, buying my own home in a new State where I knew no one but my son and his then future wife) and for a period of almost 3 years I tried being and living like "normies", not going to meetings, little by little all my old negative thinking came back and other than the drinking and illegal substances, my old behaviors crept in, and this would have been the ultimate bad decision, the idea of drinking began to appeal to me and it was a good friend who pointed out to me that she had tried social drinking and that 5 years later, she was still struggling with her sobriety, that scared me, but I still did not go back to meetings for a while, until I reached a place I knew I had been before, it was a dark scared place to be in, sober no less, so I went back to meetings. The disease of addiction is "dis ease" with ones self and lives in the mind of those who have it, I think Annette may have upon something in what she said in her post to you and more importantly you recognize and feel you need help, so from my point of view, AA might be a start in that direction.
The good news is you recognized your vulnerability and that is the first step towards taking your personal power back.
I love you my Sister and send you positive thoughts, Laureen
My Mantra is that I do not determine my success by the number hanging in my closet, nor will I let the scale determine that success either. . . It is through trial and error I will continue to grow and succeed. . . Laureen
"Success is a journey, not a destination." Ben Sweetland
Aloha my dear sister, Laureen.....YOU are one of the ones I thought about so strongly when I was on auto pilot buying the wine. It was the strangest experience I had ever had....like I wasn't in control at all. What is the AA saying "Insanity is trying the same thing over and expecting a different outcome." My head knows that......something else was driving my car to the store, and my head was shut down. I think that's why I came on here immediately for help. And.....I got it!!
I grew up in a household where there was no alcohol....not even at special occasions. It never entered my consciousness until I met my 2nd husband and he was a drinker. I think because it was in my genes, I loved immediately and it loved me back. When it became a problem, I thankfully had my father's experience with AA to get me there for help...and I did. I thought it was something I would never have to deal with again.....WRONG.
The alcohol is gone from my house. If I lose my mind again and go for more...I will find an AA meeting!! Thanks so much for sharing so openly your experiences with me and all of us.
Aloha nui loa,
Maui Karen
I grew up in a household where there was no alcohol....not even at special occasions. It never entered my consciousness until I met my 2nd husband and he was a drinker. I think because it was in my genes, I loved immediately and it loved me back. When it became a problem, I thankfully had my father's experience with AA to get me there for help...and I did. I thought it was something I would never have to deal with again.....WRONG.
The alcohol is gone from my house. If I lose my mind again and go for more...I will find an AA meeting!! Thanks so much for sharing so openly your experiences with me and all of us.
Aloha nui loa,
Maui Karen
(((( hugs Karen )))) Addictive personalities generally find an addiction or transfer an addiction unfortunately. Perhaps something is "eating at you" or you are bored? Try finding something new to get involved with and see if that helps? I will be praying for you. Needless to say, I was addicted to food (and it showed).
I personally battle with nicotine addiction ... BIG TIME. I quit cold turkey for 2.5 years then on the day of Mom's funeral I had one cig and that is all she wrote. I was back to smoking a pack a day again. Then I quit with Chantix (for WLS a year ago) and went for 6 months nicotine free, then out of the blue I got "the urge" and gave in to it. I even went a week or so without smoking when I went on my trip with my guy friend, but as soon as we got back and I was home alone I was smoking again. I can obviously get by without cigs, but for some crazy reason (boredom? anxiety?) I just can't stay off them.
Hopefully once my guy friend gets back from CA I will be able to put them down again (he is a non-smoker). I need to keep busy with a non-smoker!!! haha
I personally battle with nicotine addiction ... BIG TIME. I quit cold turkey for 2.5 years then on the day of Mom's funeral I had one cig and that is all she wrote. I was back to smoking a pack a day again. Then I quit with Chantix (for WLS a year ago) and went for 6 months nicotine free, then out of the blue I got "the urge" and gave in to it. I even went a week or so without smoking when I went on my trip with my guy friend, but as soon as we got back and I was home alone I was smoking again. I can obviously get by without cigs, but for some crazy reason (boredom? anxiety?) I just can't stay off them.
Hopefully once my guy friend gets back from CA I will be able to put them down again (he is a non-smoker). I need to keep busy with a non-smoker!!! haha 
I'M AT GOAL! Aloha Susan.....You are so right on about addictive personalities and how they are different from regular people. You mention cigarettes......my history with them has been similar. I quit for 15 years...would you believe that after 15 years a friend left a pack at my house and I decided to just smoke ONE....to see what I used to enjoy so much. Well, I don't think I need to tell YOU that I smoked for another 10 years!! That addiction I quit about seven months before WLS and have managed to stay ciggie free, thankfully. But, I so understand your slipping back to that comfort so easily. This is what is making me crazy about this alcohol slip.......it was so easy....no big decision making session, no pros and cons, nothing....just an "urge" and a drive to the store without any little voice shouting "no no" in my ear.
thank you so much for your perspective. I think we help each other more than anyone ever knows in this little forum. Good luck with your struggle with cigarettes.......maybe together we can stay healthy...and not let these damned substances take over again.
Aloha nui loa,
Maui Karen
thank you so much for your perspective. I think we help each other more than anyone ever knows in this little forum. Good luck with your struggle with cigarettes.......maybe together we can stay healthy...and not let these damned substances take over again.
Aloha nui loa,
Maui Karen
(((((( hugs Karen ))))))) Fortunately WE have had the "urge to eat" surgically altered ... too bad there is not an equally successful "fix/tool" to help us with other addictions.
KEEP BUSY! I know that sounds cliche but it really does help. I am really surprised that I have never had an alcohol issue. Seriously. I think we allow ourselves to get weak (and don't even realize it) and then a temptation is suddenly THERE and we give in thinking ONE won't hurt us ... WE can handle it. HA! Unfortunately we can't. I was really feeling low recently and bought a bag of Reeses's PB eggs (mini ones)to share at the Easter dinner I had planned. Well, no one can come to my dinner (working or better offers) and it really made me sad/depressed. I do not dump on sugar/chocolate (DARNIT!) and in my disappointment I ate the whole bag!!! Just not in one sitting like I used to. Fortunately I am 5 pounds under goal but won't be much longer if I do that again!!!
Hang in there sweetie! You are a great person and I know you have the guts to turn this around.
KEEP BUSY! I know that sounds cliche but it really does help. I am really surprised that I have never had an alcohol issue. Seriously. I think we allow ourselves to get weak (and don't even realize it) and then a temptation is suddenly THERE and we give in thinking ONE won't hurt us ... WE can handle it. HA! Unfortunately we can't. I was really feeling low recently and bought a bag of Reeses's PB eggs (mini ones)to share at the Easter dinner I had planned. Well, no one can come to my dinner (working or better offers) and it really made me sad/depressed. I do not dump on sugar/chocolate (DARNIT!) and in my disappointment I ate the whole bag!!! Just not in one sitting like I used to. Fortunately I am 5 pounds under goal but won't be much longer if I do that again!!!
Hang in there sweetie! You are a great person and I know you have the guts to turn this around.
I'M AT GOAL! Aloha my friend.....Oh, how your words ring true! I think we "KNOW" each other. URGE is a powerful thing.......and scares the you know what out of me!! I remember once in Santa Cruz after I had been cigarette free and alcohol free for many years.......I drove to the beach, bought a small bottle of vodka, a small OJ, an a pack of cigarettes.....and I jumped in like I'd never quit! Luckily I lived right up the hill and drove home without incident and looked at myself in the mirror and did not understand what had happened.
Having come so far in the WLS journey, from 319 to 155, has been amazing....BUT, I am afraid I'm not yet free from my demons that lurk in the wings waiting to bring me down. With the help from people like you, might just make it!
Aloha nui loa,
Karen
Having come so far in the WLS journey, from 319 to 155, has been amazing....BUT, I am afraid I'm not yet free from my demons that lurk in the wings waiting to bring me down. With the help from people like you, might just make it!
Aloha nui loa,
Karen
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