Starting to feel like a failure

I have started to feel like the old me; making bad food choices and fighting gaining weight back every day.  And I am less than 5 months out from surgery!   Some of you may recall that I had some kind of flu bug earlier this month and could not eat and keep anything down for almost a week.   I lost 9 pounds that week, but since then, I have gained back 3 of them.   I have lost about 57 pounds so far, and I guess that isn't too bad, but I sure do need to lose a lot more.  This is a lot harder than I thought it would be.   I thought I would not be able to over eat for a lot longer than this, but I can eat more than I should in volume, plus I can tolerate the bad stuff; things with sugar, carbs, etc.   Ironically, I don't do well with meats, chicken, eggs, and protein shakes.   So I gravitate towards the stuff that works for me; yup, the empty calories and so on.   I read what so many others eat here on the forums, and I feel like the same stupid person who gained over a hundred pounds in the first place.  If it has only been 5 months, I see this as being very close to the way I was before.   Anyone else been there?   Obviously, I need to get my act together.... Winter is SO hard!

First of all you are NOT a failure!!

We all stuggle with this. It might help if you could contact your nutrtitionist at your surgeons office. They usually can give good suggestions on how to make the changes you need to make.

Maybe you need to change the way you are preparing the meats etc.. We need things really moist and tender. I couldn't eat eggs for at least 6 months out.  I can now eat them but only with cheese. How about meatballs or meatloaf??As for shakes...I could never do them. The only protein drink  that I can tolerate is Boost Glucose Control Protein Drinks. I cannot do the protein powder!!

I wish you the best. Don't give up!! Winter months don't help make our lives easier. You will get through this.

Hugs.....connie d

Well at least you know you are migrating toward the things you shouldn't be! I get hungry (HUNGRRRRY) at times but as soon as I start to eat I am OK and get over it. I am over 8 months out and still have trouble with eggs, poulty, and have never been fond of the protein shakes but choke them down. Try using sf jello or sf popsickles when you get a hankering for sweets. I don't dump on sweets either. I just stay away from them. Maybe you should call your nutrionist about this? Good luck getting back on track!

You are not a failure! And you have done two of the most important steps. You have recognized that you are developingn problem behaviors and you have admitted it and asked for help. I think the people who fail are those who never admit to themselves what they are doing. I know that it takes many people quite a while to find something healthy that they can eat. How about cottage cheese and greek yogurt. I love me some Greek yogurt with a little bit of all fruit or SF flavored syrup to brighten it up. Can you eat string cheese? How much volume can you eat? It may not be as unusual as you think. I am only 9 weeks out and can eat an entire south beach pizza. I did one night before I realized how many carbs it had.  The week you lost 9 pounds because you couldn't keep anything down was partially deyhration. I think it is amazing that you only gained three back.
Yes, it is much harder for me than I thought it would be. I expected to never be hungry and the weight would just magically fall off. I expected to get so sick if I ate something i shouldn't that I would never want it again. That hasn't happened. Now I am having to do some of the work that I should have done in the past. I am exploring why I want to eat all of that stuff that isn't good for me. I always said it was becuase it tasted good but that is only a small part of it.
You can do this. You have succeeded so far.
Keep trying new different healthy protein rich foods until you find something that works for you. We will both be working to make the tool work for us. It is just a little harder when we don't get the dumping.
Hang in there babeee.

Hello Cheryl,
I am doing my soul searching of why I eat the bad stuff and how it makes me feels before I have my surgery. I came across a book that has helped me so much in that journey. It's called Shrink Yourself--Break free from emotional eating forever, By Roger Gould M.D. i found it on Amazon .com
Sincerely, Nancy

Harmony,

YOu probably gained the three pounds back and that three pounds was probably fluid that you lost from the diarrhea and vomitting.  So, that's okay.  As far as eating the "glidder foods", which are those foods that are easier on our pouch, we all are like that.  Dense food like eggs, chicken, and beef often hurt or make us uncomfortable with only small amounts; thus, we are told to eat those foods first and the carbs later.  I try to do that, but sometimes find myself liking the vegetables a whole lot better.  Don't be so hard on yourself and make yourself eat the protein products first and the others will not be so easy to tolerate much of.  It's true that we all think this is the easy way out and find out that it really is the hard way out.  We are still hungry, we still want to eat the bad foods, and we still beat ourselves up.  Today, do better. 

You definitely are not alone!  I struggle almost everyday and somedays I do the right things and some days I don't Each day is a new day and today I have done OK and it is 11AM.  My weight loss support group is meeting at Ruby Tuesdays in about an hour.  I will try to make a good choice and then live with it.  

I snacked on whole grain crackers yesterday and gained a bit plus made myself constipated.  I thought it would work the other way!  Anyway, no crackers for this afternoon's snack!

Yes, I also thought it would be easier, but it's not.  I do weigh less than i have for a long time and am off diabetes medicine and high blood pressure medicine.  Don't want to go back on them so will keep trying.  That's all we can do.

Jeane  

57 lbs is good! Just think about times in the past when you were trying to lose weight. Ever have that much success in 5 months? Probably not!

I still eat a lot of dense soups, chili, stew with a lot of very tender chicken, ground turkey, ground beef, or stew meat cooked to death. Beans are great protein. I like cottage cheese. Peanut butter (PB 2 is my latest) and apples. Vegetarian refried beans heated with some tender ground beef mixed in and cheese melted on top with a few soy chips for scooping. I was almost 2 years post op before I could handle chicken and am just now enjoying the taste of a tender steak. I was a CARNAVORE before WLS!  

Do NOT give up. This is just a stumble. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off, (feel that soft little keester kick that I just gave you to help you up?) and you'll soon feel better. Getting back on track will help you to feel like you are back in the saddle again. Best wishes.  Time after time I  myself, or others, realize that we need the support that we get from this site. My local support group is just not like this one. I depend on OFF to be here 24/7 for me and it is. We are here for you too, just be present, ask for help, share your successes and your "bumps." There is not a one of us here who hasn't experienced many of the same feelings and actions, most importantly YOU ARE NOT ALONE. PS What is your name? For some reason I just really like to know the name that people go by. . . Just first name if possible?

Jan,

I'm with you on the thick soups and chillies.  Lately, I, too, have reverted back to the peanut butter and apples or peanut butter and bread or peanut butter and spoon. LOL.  I still cannot eat a steak, maybe a bite or two and that's it.  I can only eat chicken if it is boiled in a soup and so tender it falls apart.  Ground beef is okay a little, if it isn't in a paddy.  I am just not into the denser foods.  Wonder what the deal is with the peanut butter?

As always, it is SO much help to post on here!  Thanks to everyone for their sharing and advice.   I know that it will be easier when warm weather returns, also.   The evenings start so early and are so long!   That has always been my bad eating time of the day, and now, things seem to go down better at that time.   I was also always bad about snacking in the middle of the night, and I have been reverting to doing that again.  Not much, just a bite or two.   I always told myself that I could not go back to sleep without it.   I found a lot of advice on here to be very good suggestions, so I am going to pick myself up and get going again.   Like in the pre-surgery days, I usually pick things that are quick and easy to pick up and eat, so I have to prepare better.   I used to fix things that were good for me and protein and put it up in 4 oz cups, but I stopped doing that.  I am going to try that again.   Again, thanks for everyone's time.   Have a wonderful weekend!   (I have to celebrate my 14 year old grandson's birthday tomorrow and stay away from that cake!)

Cathy in southern Indiana