OT Rant about the Sexist VA
While I was out this morning (at my bariatric surgeon's office, getting a long-overdue fil - .2 cc), a VA representative left a message for me about my request to become Mom's fiduciary. Mom's Alzheimer's is far too advanced for her to handle her own affairs (she doesn't even remember her own name sometimes). I've been handling her affairs for several years now anyway. Since the VA doesn't recognize an otherwise perfectly-legal power of attorney, I have had to go through a months-long process of having Mom declared incompetent by the VA. They finally did that about a month ago. Now we have to go through another whole deal to have a fiduciary appointed (hopefully me).
So I called back the VA guy and told him my name and my mom's name.
He said, "And the veteran's name is?"
I repeated my mom's name.
He said, "No, no, I need the VETERAN'S name."
And then I finally understood what his problem was - he was looking for a husband's name as the veteran, And that doesn't apply, so I just said very firmly and slowly, "HER name is" and repeated mom's name very slowly.
There was a pause. Then he said, "Oh. I don't get too many female veterans."
I thought, Apparently not. I said, "Well, she is one."
"And what did your mother do in the service?" he asked.
"She was a lieutenant in the Coast Guard," I said. "She worked in Communications."
Another pause. "Oh. Most female World War II veterans were nurses."
"Not my mom. She coded and decoded messages."
After that preamble, we set up a time for him to meet with me and mom at the nursing home Wednesday afternoon. He asked me if I'd ever been convicted of a felony (no) and told me to bring the names, addresses, and telephone numbers of two friends (not kin) who can vouch for my character.
This should be interesting. I've been reviewing wardrobe options - surely I have some very serious, sober, responsible-looking outfits in my closet. I called the nursing home to ask that they have mom settled into her room at the time of the appointment.
Jean
So I called back the VA guy and told him my name and my mom's name.
He said, "And the veteran's name is?"
I repeated my mom's name.
He said, "No, no, I need the VETERAN'S name."
And then I finally understood what his problem was - he was looking for a husband's name as the veteran, And that doesn't apply, so I just said very firmly and slowly, "HER name is" and repeated mom's name very slowly.
There was a pause. Then he said, "Oh. I don't get too many female veterans."
I thought, Apparently not. I said, "Well, she is one."
"And what did your mother do in the service?" he asked.
"She was a lieutenant in the Coast Guard," I said. "She worked in Communications."
Another pause. "Oh. Most female World War II veterans were nurses."
"Not my mom. She coded and decoded messages."
After that preamble, we set up a time for him to meet with me and mom at the nursing home Wednesday afternoon. He asked me if I'd ever been convicted of a felony (no) and told me to bring the names, addresses, and telephone numbers of two friends (not kin) who can vouch for my character.
This should be interesting. I've been reviewing wardrobe options - surely I have some very serious, sober, responsible-looking outfits in my closet. I called the nursing home to ask that they have mom settled into her room at the time of the appointment.
Jean
Jean McMillan c.2009-2013 - Always a bandster at heart
author of Bandwagon (TM), Strategies for Success with the Adjustable Gastric Band & Bandwagon Cookery. Bandwagon for Kindle now available on Amazon. Read my blog at: jean-onthebandwagon.blogspot.com
Jean, I can remember when I had to deal with the VA for mom. I called one day and just got flirted with. He wanted to come to my house and "help" me fill out a form for the umpteenth time. They can be such idiots and I totally agree with Janet on the clothes that you should wear. Just smile and show them just what you are made of!
It's not what you gather, but what you scatter
that tells what kind of life you have lived.
Jean,
As a military wife, daughter, niece, etc etc.... I truly understand your frustration... I really do.
Now, in defense of this poor clerk
VA is understaffed, over worked and working within a small confine of information outside the norm. Not to mention the fraud that has gone on with falsified documents.
Then you walk in with such unusual information they can't seem to digest it.
Your mother is a unique person with unique cir****tances. She truly is and his statements prove it. A female lieutenant working in communications was as we say "outside the box".
Just think of the conversation he had with his coworkers about the female Lieutenant in the Coast Guard handling communications. lol lol that was a feather in his cap to not handle just another mundane request.
That doesn't help you with the frustration of dealing with the upcoming situation. Dress however comfortable you want. It won't matter to him.... lol Felons feed on the old, infirmed, and needy. Be glad you have to show proof of who you are.... keeps the predators away.
I could tell you horror stories about the system and some I still have to jump through hoops for.. lol
Millie
As a military wife, daughter, niece, etc etc.... I truly understand your frustration... I really do.
Now, in defense of this poor clerk
VA is understaffed, over worked and working within a small confine of information outside the norm. Not to mention the fraud that has gone on with falsified documents.
Then you walk in with such unusual information they can't seem to digest it.
Your mother is a unique person with unique cir****tances. She truly is and his statements prove it. A female lieutenant working in communications was as we say "outside the box".
Just think of the conversation he had with his coworkers about the female Lieutenant in the Coast Guard handling communications. lol lol that was a feather in his cap to not handle just another mundane request.
That doesn't help you with the frustration of dealing with the upcoming situation. Dress however comfortable you want. It won't matter to him.... lol Felons feed on the old, infirmed, and needy. Be glad you have to show proof of who you are.... keeps the predators away.
I could tell you horror stories about the system and some I still have to jump through hoops for.. lol
Millie
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