OT:Releasing Negativity

Pity Party

We all have days when the bad things seem to outweigh the good ones and we begin to think that life isn’t fair. You get stuck in traffic, which makes you late for an important meeting, and then your car gets towed. You might ask yourself, “Why me?" Events like this one can test anyone’s ability to be grateful and feel optimistic. If you have a tendency to feel sorry for yourself, and many of us do, things usually progress to the next stage: the pity party. You begin to feel like the innocent victim of a dismal fate because you are seeing your life through inaccurate lenses. Most of the thoughts that run through your mind at times like these are not helpful, and they mainly serve to increase your indignation and feelings of powerlessness. What these feelings and thoughts don’t do is change your cir****tances or make you feel better.

When you have a terrible day, there should definitely be a time and place to have your feelings so you can process them. It’s important not to pretend that you are fine with things when you aren’t. It’s also important, however, to notice when you’re having a pity party. It’s a good idea to set a time limit in which to fully express your emotions and not feel guilty, ashamed, or judge yourself. Having a friend witness you during this process can be helpful. You may also want to write about your feelings. When your time is up, let go of the negativity you just expressed. You can declare your intention to your friend. If you’ve written down your feelings, you can burn the piece of paper or throw it in the recycling bin.

Try not to dwell on unpleasant experiences and do everything you can to avoid holding on to negative emotions. When you indulge in self-pity, you only make a bad day worse. Stop feeling sorry for yourself, release the notion that you are a victim, and notice the good that exists in your life.

What do you think?

Darlene...I am new to this board and was reading some of the posts, and I had to make a comment to yours.

I am one of these people who tend to "feel sorry for themselves".  A lot of times when you try and try as hard as you know how to lose the weight, there comes a road block in your life and no matter how hard you try, you can't get through it.  I have been on this roller coaster ride for sometime now, and now my ride has come to a complete stop!!  I have teetered between 251 and 254 lbs for the last couple of months and can't go any further.  I have cut down my portions drastically to what I was accustomed to eating at a meal...I drink water all during the day (but not during and 30 min after eating), I choose the healthier foods to prepare for my DH and myself ( no processed foods or fast foods for us),  I eat three small meals per day, and a protein snack in between meals.  I stop with the snacking 3 hrs before bedtime.  But, I must admit that I don't exercise regularly.  I do my daily housework, but just don't make time to exercise.  This has been my life long scenerio most of my adult life as far as dieting goes.  I get so far, then stop.  So it's hard not to feel like a helpless victim of this weight loss journey.

Life throws lemons at me constantly, and I can't make lemon pie out of them!!  LOL  It gets very frustrating for someone like me.  I am 60 yrs old, on numerous meds, post menopausal, and have heart problems and type 2 diabetes. I have made an appt with my PCP to have my A1C level and my thyroid checked on Wednesday.  I'll take it from there.

It's very hard to keep a positive outlook when one hits so many roadblocks in their lives.  But I AM very grateful for what the Lord has given me in my life...I am truly blessed...more so than a lot of folks today.  I am not financially well off, but live comfortably for my plain lifestyle.  I thank God everyday for that.

Just my 2 cents worth!

Susie

I think it's very important to process the feelings we have, especially seeing as many of us who are on this journey, did a great deal of emotional eating to suppress our feelings.  I have learned that we all have times in our lives when cir****tances and, sometimes, even for no apparent reason whatsoever, we get into a rut; I've also learned that I need not furnish that rut, but by using the tools of which your writing spoke often helps me turn it around and see that whatever it is, at least most of what I've experienced in life so far, could be worse.  I also have come to recognize that on the other side of emotional upheaval there is usually a great deal to be learned by that experience that will serve me well in the future.  Our feelings are not always based in reality, but that while we are experiencing them, they are our reality and so we should not judge ourselves or others for how they feel, but try redirecting them through finding gratitude that we can feel at all. 

What a wonderful message, Darlene.  Thank you!!

Hi Darlene,

I found this message very timely after feeling like a football widow this weekend and indulging in self pity  and recriminations last week.  I got over it by Friday though and my friend, Gil, is grateful.  He was pulling for the Chargers too.  Sorry they lost.

Also identify with the weight stall mentioned in this thread.  I'm hanging at the same weight for quite awhile now too.  Exercising last week had little effect but I know if I stick to the plan, up protein, drink lots of liquids and journal my food on Fitday the scale will move eventually.

Love, light and laughter, CV Linda 

Thank you Darlene....you always seem to post just what I need to hear!!

Hugs...connie d

You are right on,Darlene...

Darlene:

I tend to run myself ragged and then get in the pity party.  If I take some time to rest and just admit how physically tired I am it helps me.  At 56 I don't have the stamina I had at earlier ages.
This will be a 9PM night and that is OK!  Tomorrow is a new day and is a full one and I need to get ready!

Thanks for your posts, they are always wonderful.

Jeane  

Darlene,

I do the pity party thing but try to do it when I am home alone.  I will, though, put a time limit.  No pity after two hours. LOL. Seriously, I need to work on the pity cause I am one to let it build up and then it hits and I get so sad.  Thanks for the post.