OT: Experience and It's Healing Potential
In approaching the alcoholic, we have tried hard to capitalize on our one great natural advantage. That is, of course, our personal experience as drinkers who have recovered.
--Bill W., co-founder of Alcoholics Anonymous
The Wounded Healer
Consider the following situations. A person born with a cleft palate becomes a surgeon specializing in the repair of cleft palates. A stutterer who corrects his problem becomes a speech therapist. A recovering alcoholic now works as a drug rehabilitation counselor. These individuals are living the story of the "wounded healer" - a person who uses the understanding gained in his own healing to assist others with the same problem.
A modern example of the wounded healer can be seen in the life of Bill W., the co-founder of Alcoholics Anonymous [AA]. Faced with an illness over which he was powerless, Bill W. joined forces with Dr. Bob Smith to create a society of fellow sufferers. Since its inception in 1935, AA has become a source of healing and inspiration to millions of alcoholics around the world. The immensity of Bill W.'s suffering was redeemed by the infinite good that it accomplished.
Because we all suffer spiritual, emotional, mental, or physical "wounds," each of us has the capacity to be wounded healer. Think back to times that you have been most effective in helping others. You will no doubt find that the wounds you helped to heal were the very same ones that you once overcame in yourself.
Thus, if you are dealing with a wound in your life right now, realize that one day your hurt will be a healing balm for another wounded soul. For this, give thanks.
My Mantra is that I do not determine my success by the number hanging in my closet, nor will I let the scale determine that success either. . . It is through trial and error I will continue to grow and succeed. . . Laureen
"Success is a journey, not a destination." Ben Sweetland
wow..this really hit me hard, Laureen..thank you.
I've often been called an emotional healer which I thought strange in that, as an abuse survivor, I couldn't seem to fix my own issues, yet I seem to be able to help others with theirs. Some of my five sisters-in-law used to hand me their fussy babies because they calmed down in my arms...lol..I said it was because I bored them to sleep.
What an excellent article, thank you, VERY much!
Nancy B
(okay..I didnt get back to bed yet.. Im so nosy!...NOW I'm going!)
Laureen
My Mantra is that I do not determine my success by the number hanging in my closet, nor will I let the scale determine that success either. . . It is through trial and error I will continue to grow and succeed. . . Laureen
"Success is a journey, not a destination." Ben Sweetland
This is a good article; however, there are many people who are the opposite. For instance, the person who quits drinking hates alcoholics, or the smoker who quits begins campigns to stop smoking at their job place. Or men and women who were sexually abused, become abusers. The human mind is such a fragile thing and we will never know why some people end up using their negative experience to help while others use it to harm. And we have seen that child abusers, expecially sexual abusers, are not exempt through religion or any other group or cult affiliation. What I mean is that being a religious person doesn't gurantee exemption from being a child molester or a child beater. In fact, sometimes, as in the catholic churc, it becomes a cover. Okay, this is heading toward controversy so I will stop.
Your wonderful mind is always working and I can see your points and the individual make-ups of each human being is such that people can live the exact same experience and react from totally different places, however, my belief is that the vast majority of humanity really wants to take from their experiences what is useful and put it to good use in helping others, which is precisely what we do here. The reformed smoker or alcoholic, from my perspective, is really looking to help others, but it's their inability to accept that people who are not ready to change will not change that makes them "hate" what they cannot change.
We can certainly go on a controversial tangent with this, but that is also sometimes just really thoughts in collision as we all have our individual opinions, some of which are learned and others of which is experience and/or intuition. . .
My Mantra is that I do not determine my success by the number hanging in my closet, nor will I let the scale determine that success either. . . It is through trial and error I will continue to grow and succeed. . . Laureen
"Success is a journey, not a destination." Ben Sweetland
Annette 
On my recovery path, it is called "sharing your experience, strength and hope" and we do that so well here ;)
Hugs, Lil Sis
My Mantra is that I do not determine my success by the number hanging in my closet, nor will I let the scale determine that success either. . . It is through trial and error I will continue to grow and succeed. . . Laureen
"Success is a journey, not a destination." Ben Sweetland
I am a "helper." I love helping people feel better. Sometimes I am able to help others when I need to be tending to myself. Why is it "easier" to help someone else than to help ourselves?I just read Jeannie and Nancy's posts. Both offered insights. It does take all kinds to make the world doesn't it? Why indeed do some people go one direction and others another? I think because we are human. Sometimes the wounds are so deep and profound that there doesn't seem to be a "healthy" solution.
I have a niece who became a clinical psychologist in her 40's. She was a late bloomer. She says she majored in "parking lot" in high school. I digress. . I do that so well. Anyway, once she started to school she was focused. I think her career came about from trying to figure out why she did what she did as a youth. She made her parents lives miserable but is now a wonderful, caring professional. She works with the courts and prison system often testifying in the courts about felons. She diagnoses but says that "We (meaning humans) don't 'Fix' easily or well." Just food for thought.
I had a good childhood, no physical, sexual, emotional abuse and yet I'm still pretty screwed up. My parents were so reserved. I didn't learn to express my feelings. Kept them all bundled up. My parents made decisions for me. . . I still have a hard time picking a path and following it. I'm so afraid of making a mistake. I DO think that I have a lot empathy for others suffering. Thanks Laureen, I love these "thinking" topics.
Karen C
Funny, but when I was as young as a teenager, people would come to me with their problems and I was always willing to listen and offer a suggestion that usually seemed to help them somehow, then in my 20s, my friends always sought out my advice, told me I should become a counselor. I think deep down I knew better at that time in my life, I was not living a lot of what I was telling others I thought would be good to do, but that is how we gain experience often enough.
My background is one of abuse and emotional neglect and while I floundered in my 20s, my 30s found me seeking and finding the help I needed and so today I can offer help from a different perspective, but I've learned not to go where I have no experience, as so often is what people do, I don't know it all and don't feel the need to, am not afraid to ask for help as often as I was in years gone by, though it still is not easy, but more because I fear the rejection of getting it, which is usually not the case, but also comes from the place of my childhood, so in recognizing these things I've improved my ability to help myself and others. Life happens, my reactions to what happens is largely what I can do anything about, I still fall short a good deal of the time. . . Under construction is my motto. . .
Hugs, Laureen
My Mantra is that I do not determine my success by the number hanging in my closet, nor will I let the scale determine that success either. . . It is through trial and error I will continue to grow and succeed. . . Laureen
"Success is a journey, not a destination." Ben Sweetland
