A Few Questions
Jeanne,
I know exactly what you are talking about and we have even discussed this at our support groups.
When I was a "larger" person, naturally, it angered me that people put so much value on "thinner" people and less worth on the "fat" people, but then I had a vested interest in that phiolosphy. Now I find that when I see a person who faces the challenges of being overweight, I view them from the perspective of wishing that they find a way to overcome their challenge, no matter the way they would chose to do so. I feel sad that they are going through life dragging all that extra weight around and when I hear people talk about being ok with their weight, I think how I tried to talk myself into that for years and realize that denial is a big thing. I also, to be honest, sometimes find myself thinking, don't you want to live healthier? I want to put cards around the commuter train from the clinic I had my surgery at and let everyone know there is a way to get healthy, but I also know, as I said a sentence or two earlier, that often times people just don't see the realities until they are hit with HBP, diabetes, a heart attack or stroke and many people just simply find it easier to accept themselves the way they are, believing, as I did, this is how I am meant to be. I watch them and think, please, I don't ever want to be there again. There are cases where I am able to be a spokesperson for WLS, when someone asks me questions, I advocate that it is not for everyone, but that it has done wonders for me and that I'd do it again in a heartbeat. I recently had a conversation with my son's FIL, who is 63 and close to 400 lbs., he has type II diabetes and takes all sorts of medications and he broached the subject with me of a friend of his who had the band and is always angry and we spoke of the "addiction" aspect of this disease and how it is hard to give up our old friend "food" and basically I said to him, if for no other reason, don't you want to be off all those medications? His answer was, that if he knew he could play sports like he used to before he hurt his leg, which he claims caused his weight gain, though I've seen pictures of him before then and he has, like most of us, always had a love affair with food, that he would really consider it, but in the end, he believes that we all have a date with death from the day we are born and so he is ok with where he is at, my response was, I understood, but that I made my choice to enjoy whatever life I have and that is really how I feel. I still enjoy food, but healthier and most definitely much smaller amounts. I have, my only sibling, a brother is still on the fence, he is 43-1/2 years old, weighs close to 400 lbs., has two teenage sons and it makes me sad that he is still living life the way he is, I fear for his future because of our family history (our Mother had hbp in her 20s, a heart attack at 47, triple bypass at 55, developed type II diabetes after the bypass, had 3 more heart attacks and had a stroke at 65 and died 3 days later of a massive heart attack brought on as a result of renal failure). I have to accept there is nothing I can do, no one could do it for me, I had to do the homework and make the decision for myself. I pray that one day, before it's too late they get it and change their lifestyles. I am glad I chose this path, it is not for everyone and when I see the struggles that I used to face, I am simply thankful that it is not me TODAY.
As for the television shows, I see them occasionally and hope that the person sticks with the help that is given them and am happy when that happens.
Thanks for this thought provoking topic. Laureen
I know exactly what you are talking about and we have even discussed this at our support groups.
When I was a "larger" person, naturally, it angered me that people put so much value on "thinner" people and less worth on the "fat" people, but then I had a vested interest in that phiolosphy. Now I find that when I see a person who faces the challenges of being overweight, I view them from the perspective of wishing that they find a way to overcome their challenge, no matter the way they would chose to do so. I feel sad that they are going through life dragging all that extra weight around and when I hear people talk about being ok with their weight, I think how I tried to talk myself into that for years and realize that denial is a big thing. I also, to be honest, sometimes find myself thinking, don't you want to live healthier? I want to put cards around the commuter train from the clinic I had my surgery at and let everyone know there is a way to get healthy, but I also know, as I said a sentence or two earlier, that often times people just don't see the realities until they are hit with HBP, diabetes, a heart attack or stroke and many people just simply find it easier to accept themselves the way they are, believing, as I did, this is how I am meant to be. I watch them and think, please, I don't ever want to be there again. There are cases where I am able to be a spokesperson for WLS, when someone asks me questions, I advocate that it is not for everyone, but that it has done wonders for me and that I'd do it again in a heartbeat. I recently had a conversation with my son's FIL, who is 63 and close to 400 lbs., he has type II diabetes and takes all sorts of medications and he broached the subject with me of a friend of his who had the band and is always angry and we spoke of the "addiction" aspect of this disease and how it is hard to give up our old friend "food" and basically I said to him, if for no other reason, don't you want to be off all those medications? His answer was, that if he knew he could play sports like he used to before he hurt his leg, which he claims caused his weight gain, though I've seen pictures of him before then and he has, like most of us, always had a love affair with food, that he would really consider it, but in the end, he believes that we all have a date with death from the day we are born and so he is ok with where he is at, my response was, I understood, but that I made my choice to enjoy whatever life I have and that is really how I feel. I still enjoy food, but healthier and most definitely much smaller amounts. I have, my only sibling, a brother is still on the fence, he is 43-1/2 years old, weighs close to 400 lbs., has two teenage sons and it makes me sad that he is still living life the way he is, I fear for his future because of our family history (our Mother had hbp in her 20s, a heart attack at 47, triple bypass at 55, developed type II diabetes after the bypass, had 3 more heart attacks and had a stroke at 65 and died 3 days later of a massive heart attack brought on as a result of renal failure). I have to accept there is nothing I can do, no one could do it for me, I had to do the homework and make the decision for myself. I pray that one day, before it's too late they get it and change their lifestyles. I am glad I chose this path, it is not for everyone and when I see the struggles that I used to face, I am simply thankful that it is not me TODAY.
As for the television shows, I see them occasionally and hope that the person sticks with the help that is given them and am happy when that happens.
Thanks for this thought provoking topic. Laureen
My Mantra is that I do not determine my success by the number hanging in my closet, nor will I let the scale determine that success either. . . It is through trial and error I will continue to grow and succeed. . . Laureen
"Success is a journey, not a destination." Ben Sweetland
Laureen,
I agree that no matter what, obese people are not all that accepting of their size. I think after many attempts to lose, we just say to hell with it and this is how we are. I know that no matter what, I would do this over in a heart beat; even though I was on a ventilator for a night, and even though I have problems eating, and an ulcer. I'd do it all over again. Pain caused from wls, is so much sweeter than the emotional and physical pain of being obese.
Jeannie,,,It breaks my heart to see obese people. I know their pain and I want them to lose that weight so they will feel good. I watched The Biggest Loser this week and my heart broke for them. I do watch some of the shows where they have to bring them out of homes by cutting walls out and such. It is so sad. I would have been one of those if I had kept on going. I was blessed with this tool and I intend to use it correctly and maintain my loss. I never ever want to hurt and feel so self conscious again. I do the same as you now, though as far as going into a place by myself and feeling ok about it. I use to hate to go anywhere, especially by myself. I had almost become a hermit. I wish everyone could have WLS and feel as good as we do.
I agree ... I NEVER would have sat around in any coffee shop or restaurant when I was heavy. I took advantage of drive thrus, home delivery, mail order, and even shopped in the middle of the night for groceries, etc. just to avoid the stares and the feelings of insecurity. I only went out in public view if absolutely necessary. Pretty sad how we allow our weight issues to turn us into hermits. 
Glad to hear you felt so at ease! YAY!
That is how it should be for everyone, but WE know that it just doesn't work that way unless you meet "societies norms".
Glad to hear you felt so at ease! YAY!
That is how it should be for everyone, but WE know that it just doesn't work that way unless you meet "societies norms". 
I'M AT GOAL! I have always gone to restaurants alone, usually at lunch. I guess I disliked cooking for myself more than eating in public. I would also take a book. I now carry a deck of cards and play solataire while I wait or bring my laptop with my ATT connect card. However, I had a similar experience this morning. I just signed up at a local health club. With the membership came two sessions with a personal trainer. I opted to buy and additional 7.. The usual complimentary session consists of showing you the equipment and where the locker room is. This was different. I choose my trainer. I actually chose the personal trainer manager who is male. I would never have done this in the past. Also the two sessions I have had have been very detailed. He took a complete health history and today he did a posture check. I felt like I was at the doctor's office. He watched me walk, stand, and attempt to balance on one foot. He checked the alignment of my feet, ankles, knees, hips, sholders, and head. This was done standing and lying on a table of sorts. I was in leggings and a T-shirt. I would never done this 100 pounds ago. I felt comfortable. I know I still have 30 or more pounds I want to loose but I was not intimidated. I felt that the trainer and everyone else there just saw me as normal. I think I am still a little self conscious when it come to bathing suits. I have so much loose skin. But I couldn't help thinking what a change the club experience was. I actually enjoyed being there. Maybe this time around I will actually use the facility. I am starting slowly. He says my muscles are very tight and gave me stretches to do to try to loosen them up . He want to get the muscles looser before I do much strength training. So for now I will do stretches pulse the recumbent bike and water stuff. This should help my balance. I am optimistic.
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