My Feelings
Hi All,
I have been here lurking since before Thanksgiving but have not been posting except on rare occasions to specific members. I know that I am not missed. I do feel that. It’s OK- really. I was never a true “member", even though I tried to be for a number of months. I do want to tell you how I feel. I am not good at bottling my feelings up for too long. My therapy has helped me to be very honest about how I feel. I feel sad, angry, and dismissed. I think that when you call OFF a family, it is for a selected few. I’m really glad that you have that- truly. But I am not part of the family. I am so thankful that I have enough of a network of family and friends in my own life to support me and care about me, because OFF has been a disappointment to me. I know you are for the most part good women and men. You didn’t hurt me on purpose. I wouldn’t have even brought it up except that some of the drama you are experiencing may be related to what I’ve felt. I also know that part of what I am feeling is my own “stuff"- wanting to be liked, wanting to be important. But the main thing that made me leave is this- on Thanksgiving week I had a biopsy. I have had cancer once and it looked like it was back. People did respond to that post…with nice thoughts and promises of prayers. But then it was over. Only Eileen asked me about the biopsy, in her Christmas card (thank you Eileen). So as I fretted and worried, contemplated chemo and mastectomy, I was totally ignored here. Thank goodness I have other supports. I’m sure that there are members here that have none. By the way, my biopsy was negative (it took weeks to get it, but it was good news), so I am fine. But unfortunately my presence here is not appreciated so I’ll just glean what I can from the background. I do need the WLS support, but I don’t really trust the people so much anymore. You do need to own that piece. I won’t carry it.
Hi All, I have been here lurking since before Thanksgiving but have not been posting except on rare occasions to specific members. I know that I am not missed. I do feel that. It’s OK- really. I was never a true “member", even though I tried to be for a number of months. I do want to tell you how I feel. I am not good at bottling my feelings up for too long. My therapy has helped me to be very honest about how I feel. I feel sad, angry, and dismissed. I think that when you call OFF a family, it is for a selected few. I’m really glad that you have that- truly. But I am not part of the family. I am so thankful that I have enough of a network of family and friends in my own life to support me and care about me, because OFF has been a disappointment to me. I know you are for the most part good women and men. You didn’t hurt me on purpose. I wouldn’t have even brought it up except that some of the drama you are experiencing may be related to what I’ve felt. I also know that part of what I am feeling is my own “stuff"- wanting to be liked, wanting to be important. But the main thing that made me leave is this- on Thanksgiving week I had a biopsy. I have had cancer once and it looked like it was back. People did respond to that post…with nice thoughts and promises of prayers. But then it was over. Only Eileen asked me about the biopsy, in her Christmas card (thank you Eileen). So as I fretted and worried, contemplated chemo and mastectomy, I was totally ignored here. Thank goodness I have other supports. I’m sure that there are members here that have none. By the way, my biopsy was negative (it took weeks to get it, but it was good news), so I am fine. But unfortunately my presence here is not appreciated so I’ll just glean what I can from the background. I do need the WLS support, but I don’t really trust the people so much anymore. You do need to own that piece. I won’t carry it. Julia
Julia,
Dont think in a milion years I have been thinking of you I have. I know what you are going thru with a 2nd diagnosis of Breast cancer. It is hard and if you need to talk I am here. I to was diagnosed with Thyroid cancer last week. My support system is only my husband and my cousins that live in the same town I do. I know in our hearts that youand me can survive this.
Call me anytime. Carla 303 726 1802
Julia,
I am sorry that your feelings have been hurt. My only excuse is that in the last 6 months I come on and some days there are so many posts I don't get to read it all, then after work, between the hours I commute, go to the gym, my AA meetings, many nights I don't get in the door of my house until 9 p.m. or later and then weekends, it's friends and family activities, so I am not on the computer as much from home and when I am, I will read posts randomly, maybe post a quick response here and there and I think the time between the holidays is a hectic time for all, I know I was in Florida visiting my daughter's and grandchildren, came home and got caught up once again in my life as a result of WLS my life has become so much richer and fuller. You are important, so I can only take personal responsibility and if I let you down, I am sorry.
I do understand how you could feel that way, there are times I have felt that if I stopped contributing no one would miss me either and that could be true. . . it's a big community on this board and sometimes I think posts get lost as a result of the quantity of posts.
I wish you well and am glad that the news you got was not that your cancer had returned and I hope that 2009 brings you all the good things that life offers!
Best wishes, Laureen
I am sorry that your feelings have been hurt. My only excuse is that in the last 6 months I come on and some days there are so many posts I don't get to read it all, then after work, between the hours I commute, go to the gym, my AA meetings, many nights I don't get in the door of my house until 9 p.m. or later and then weekends, it's friends and family activities, so I am not on the computer as much from home and when I am, I will read posts randomly, maybe post a quick response here and there and I think the time between the holidays is a hectic time for all, I know I was in Florida visiting my daughter's and grandchildren, came home and got caught up once again in my life as a result of WLS my life has become so much richer and fuller. You are important, so I can only take personal responsibility and if I let you down, I am sorry.
I do understand how you could feel that way, there are times I have felt that if I stopped contributing no one would miss me either and that could be true. . . it's a big community on this board and sometimes I think posts get lost as a result of the quantity of posts.
I wish you well and am glad that the news you got was not that your cancer had returned and I hope that 2009 brings you all the good things that life offers!
Best wishes, Laureen
My Mantra is that I do not determine my success by the number hanging in my closet, nor will I let the scale determine that success either. . . It is through trial and error I will continue to grow and succeed. . . Laureen
"Success is a journey, not a destination." Ben Sweetland
Please don't feel bad Laureen- that was not aimed at you. Only those that read the first biopsy post knew that I was in distress... who knows *****ad it? I just wanted to put it out here that I was let down by the lack of response. I am fine, just a little bruised! I think it is best to get things out on the table.... it may be totally my issue. Thanks for caring Laureen! By the way, I'd love to go to NY, but I have to get over my anger before I can commit to spending money to meet OFFers! Haha!
Julia
Julia
Dear Sweet Julia,
I have faith in you that you will let go of your anger, so come and meet me, as I'd love to meet you and if I had the funds I'd be coming to California in May to see the Dead at Mountain View and taking a side trip to visit you, but the building of my addition is going to keep me closer to home for a few years, but at least I will have the home I've dreamed of since purchasing it almost 6 years ago. . .
Hugs, Laureen
I have faith in you that you will let go of your anger, so come and meet me, as I'd love to meet you and if I had the funds I'd be coming to California in May to see the Dead at Mountain View and taking a side trip to visit you, but the building of my addition is going to keep me closer to home for a few years, but at least I will have the home I've dreamed of since purchasing it almost 6 years ago. . .
Hugs, Laureen
My Mantra is that I do not determine my success by the number hanging in my closet, nor will I let the scale determine that success either. . . It is through trial and error I will continue to grow and succeed. . . Laureen
"Success is a journey, not a destination." Ben Sweetland
Julia,
I, too, have felt the same way many times. I am sorry that I missed your post about your biopsy. And I am so glad to find out that everything was good. It is a scare that no one needs to go thru.
I respond to some of the posts, not really very many. And I don't put myself out there too much. Because it hurts when no one responds. So I do understand where you are coming from.
I do some PM to a few people on here and that ususally works out well for me. I welcome you to PM me if you wish.
Take care of yourself and it seems that you are doing that.
Shelia
I, too, have felt the same way many times. I am sorry that I missed your post about your biopsy. And I am so glad to find out that everything was good. It is a scare that no one needs to go thru.
I respond to some of the posts, not really very many. And I don't put myself out there too much. Because it hurts when no one responds. So I do understand where you are coming from.
I do some PM to a few people on here and that ususally works out well for me. I welcome you to PM me if you wish.
Take care of yourself and it seems that you are doing that.
Shelia
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