Transfer Addictions..Beware

Life after WLS and successful weight loss……but transfer addictions.

I need to admit that I have fallen to a transfer addiction of alcoholism. I turned from food to alcohol, a product I abhorred and never drank. Hey living with an alcoholic was horrible for me and I hated drinking and needed to always “be in control". (Ha Ha, control as I ballooned to 330 lbs).

I started with a drink in the afternoon since I was retired and truly enjoyed my new lifestyle of a full time RVer. However as our new life progressed, so did the drinking.  I wish I knew why I turned to alcohol……I know I missed my children, my grandchildren, and my friends. I did miss my job at the VA and helping veterans and their families.  Slowly I began drinking all day. taking slugs from whatever was in the RV. Behind my husbands back. I thought I was fooling him and anyone else. However I was only fooling myself, lying to him and me.

I stopped eating and got really really really sick. I went to the hospital, not in control, with a fuzzy mind, with a right foot that would not function (from sitting almost all day with my leg crossed, injuring the nerve that controlled my foot). I became paranoid and just stopped functioning.

With the help of my husband and family and VA doctors I am on the road to recovery and have not had a drink in 21 days. I am proud of myself and honor ME ever day I go without alcohol. I sometimes have an internal fight with me not to take a sip, but feel so empowered when I win. Each day is a victory and I celebrate my Control.  But each day is a little scary.

So I am 137 lbs, not 330 lbs. I am tiny. I have done damage to myself when all I was striving for was a healthier body that could enjoy life, move, play, and be normal.

Beware of the transfer of addictions that is why I am being honest with you all, those people I have shared my journey with. I am ashamed, but also proud of myself and that I am trying each day to be good to Monica for Monica’s sake.

We decided to stay in Massachusetts this winter. Our oldest daughter is going through a divorce, owns her own real estate business in these hard times, has two wonderful children, and needed us to be with her. I needed to be here also. It is difficult with the cold weather…….having spent 3 winters in the south and warmth. But last winter in San Antonio was so hard. Yes the warmth was wonderful, but the isolation I inflicted on myself was not.

Thank you for letting me tell a little of my problem. Thank you for all the support and love I have received here over the years of my journey. OH and the OFFers have been such an important part of my life……even when I had NO internet access, cut off from the outside world.

Love Monica, a better woman than 21 days ago. Pray for me and my success.