what is your parents' legacy?
I am also 55 and have been noticing a lot of the similarities between me and my parents lately. I have my Dad's coloring . . . blond hair/blue eyes but my face, my smile, the way I walk, my hands are all my Mom. From my Dad I inherited my desire for order in my life. I don't always achieve it but I desire it. He also taught me to hang on to my inner child. He was always ready to roll on the floor and play with us. I volunteer with cub scouts because it helps me stay connected with my inner child.
My mom is a rock and so am I. She had seven children and I never saw her rattled or upset by all the drama that happens around lots of children . . . falls, cuts, crying, screaming. She could heal every hurt, solve any problem. I find that I always want to fix things for people and I can handle any crisis just like her.
My Dad has since passed away of heart disease, part of what compelled me to have wls. My Mom is 80 and youthful looking. No one believes her age. I'm glad when I look in the mirror I see her face.
Thanks for the thread.
Bev
Well in my case this is poignant as I lost my mom on Dec. 19, 1995 when I was 45.
Everyone who knew her says that I look a lot like her but I am heavier. I am a pack rat like my dad but love to cook like mom.
My daughter (36) actually looks a lot like and has the body image of my maternal grandmother. She was German and we had traditional food for Christmas Eve. We still do our big celebration then. Christmas day is spent with some friends of ours that have no kids and mine go to their SO's family.
I find myself thinking of all the things that mom used to do for Christmas and maybe next year when I am thinner I can do more of them for my family.
Sheri
Nov 5, 2008
16 pounds lost pre surgery
For many years I've had my mom's body, she was short and fat, kinda pear shaped. Now my pear is smaller and working toward smaller.
She did not grey early but had a few wrinkles about the eyes, but she smoked. My grey is very limited, about 10 or 20 strands, no face wrinkles and definitely not a smoker.
I have mom's short but nice looking legs. My arms were mom's too until lipo.
All too often I find myself handling people and problems the way mom did, without tact, blunt and to the point. However I can get blood from a turnip, dad taught me. I can save money.
If you haven't noticed by now I loved my parents, they spoiled me rotten and always told me I was pretty. They gave me a great deal of self confidence and very little self control. The band and my weight loss family have helped me with in that area. I thank everyone.
Z
With 
I will succeed.
HW: 280 - LW: 190 - GW - 180
Unfilled 8/15/11 - WT: 209
1st Fill 11/29/11 - WT: 215.5 - 3cc
2/20/12 - New Goal - Get n Onederland
2nd Fill 4/26/12 - WT: 224.0 - 3cc
Z
From my mom, well, I have her impatience, which I work hard to rein in. I want everything now. I am very undisciplined ... the rest of my family doesn't have these traits. They can handle their money well, I don't. I do have her punctuality ... I get that from the Delort side of the family ... Grandma Delort insisted on being on time, or even better, early. I don't like being late. Maybe that's what makes me sucessful in newspapers ... I make my deadlines! My mom and I probably are more alike than I want to admit because if we ever have to spend more than two days together, I want to get out of there NOW! She is extremely critical of me all the time, nothing I do is right (although she is grateful when I drive her places, before we get in the car, she says she is saying her prayers ... thanks for your belief in my abilities, Mom!) Of course, in our family, the only one who can do no wrong is my oldest brother Ed ... he can walk on water ... I think we all have one of those.
I'm 69 yrs old....headed for the big 70 next February.
From my Dad I got my work ethic....work hard and you will reap the rewards....he always worked hard and for many years he held down two jobs, full time farmer and full time factory worker.....I still don't know how he did it. He and his siblings all had heart disease.....and died at fairly early ages.....fortunately I didn't inherit that from him, but he passed along the diabetes gene, but since WLS my diabetes is resolved. My Dad never said "I love you" much when we were growing up, but in his later years he expressed it a lot, and was always so proud of all his children. I look like my Dad.
I am my Mom.....I find myself saying things just like she would.....she gave me the gift of being an excellent cook and baker, the ability to make friends easily, and the best trait of all -- MUSIC. I wrote a poem for her funeral called "And the song goes on"......now she's in heaven with all the angels using her beautiful voice in praise to the Lord. My Mom lived to age 93 and her Mom to age 97.....I hope I have inherited that. We became best friends those years she was in the assisted living facility...Mom was a lover and needed to be loved. I miss her so much.....she died in 2005.
We truly are individuals in every sense, but we are still the product of two wonderful, loving, kind, and fabulous parents.
Pat R.
(on MySpace, MSN, Web pages, Blogs...)
Done! Your Ticker:
Hi Jean,
Love this.... I've been thinking about this since yesterday. I am so blessed to have been born to my parents. Loved them with all my heart. They both died far too young at 72 (my dad) and 76 (my mom). I lived all my life afraid I would disappoint them and I know now I could never do that.
My dad's stocky build came to me. They both had the hardest upbringing anyone could imagine but from that they had strength. I know I got strength from them both. My mother's sense of humor is what I'm told that I have inherited. I find I'm always quoting my mom and things she would say. Recently, I find myself just like Mom when I look in the mirror and ask, "Who's that old woman in the mirror?"
Kathi
Thanks for posting this interesting and thought provoking thread for us, Jean. It makes us think and in thinking we become grateful. If we aren't grateful for what we are we become grateful for what we are not. I have a bit of each.
I always looked like my dad. Mom use to tell me that I was a pocket image of dad. Now as I am getting older more people are telling me that I am looking like mom. If I had been told that before I would have taken it as a insult but now that I am older and had so much more time with mom I take it as a compliment.
I got from my parents the loving way that I look at people. They were very loving people and always ready to help. I hope that I too have that.
My dad had a sense of humor and I find that mine is the same. In fact one person told me that I wasn't like my mom in that subject so I must have been like dad. Mom didn't have much of a sense of humor~at least as I remember. With dad we never had that problem. My parents complimented each other in a lot of ways. Where one was weak the other was strong and so we never really knew that they had weaknesses.
Mom passed on to me the love of taking care of her family. I love to cook like mom even if as I get older the easier route is the one that I often take. She was such a wonderful baker and candy maker too, but that rarely happened with me. I tried the candy making and that was a disaster! My grandpa always told mom that she was the happiest with a baby in her arms and I am finding that to be true of me the older I get. I guess that is one reason that I am so looking forward to becoming a grandma.
My dad was a hard worker and never missed a day of work no matter how sick he was. He loved being out in his garage and work shop and loved to make birdhouses. He was very organized and had all his tools up on a peg board and all in the order of size. He was very inventive and sometimes just made some of the strangest things. He made me a wagon and printed my name on it but he got rid of it and never told me. He was one that needed organization in his garage. He was one that also sold things for $5. No matter how big it was or how expensive it was the price was always $5. People use to laugh at that one.
Mom died almost 6 years ago at the age of 82 of Alzheimer's and dad passed almost 39 years ago at the age of 53 from a heart attack. He had heart problems for many years and the doctor told us that he lived about 7 years longer than he thought that he would. I inherited the heart problems on his side and the back problems from there too. Even tho mom's side has a bit of both too. I miss them so much as mostly at the holiday season. Dad loved Christmas and was like a kid. He did the decorating and we joined in with the ornaments for the tree. He would come home from work and notice if there was a new present under the tree and then would ask if it was for him. I guess it is ironic that he died exactly 1 month after Christmas.
Mom and dad met when dad was 11 and mom was 7. They went thru life together and was a perfect couple and the perfect parents too. I am so grateful to have had them as parents and I only can hope to be as good of a person that they were.
It's not what you gather, but what you scatter
that tells what kind of life you have lived.
My parents LOVED each other. Dad always said that Mom was the prettiest girl in Orland. He scooped her up onto the fire truck at a parade, and decided to marry her within days. It took a while to convince Grandma that Dad was OK. They had to wait until Mom was 18, since Grandma wouldn't give consent. They got a license on her 18th birthday and married three days later. (Grandma eventually decided that Dad was OK! LOL)
From Dad, I learned to work. To provide excellent customer service to my clients. To honor my word. To honor my employees and treat them with fairness, respect and generosity. He did not retire until his second heart attack. HIs only regret was that he did not travel with Mom, and show her the world. He left us some money in a "special" account entitled - "Take Mama anywhere she wants to go." So far, my sisters and I have honored that wish and accompanied Mom all over the country and the world - whatever she wants to see or wherever she wants to go. It was such a thoughtful legacy. My wish is for us to DRAIN that account and make sure that Mom sees the world to honor my Dad.
From Mom I learned patience, acceptance and tolerance. I learned to care for the sick (my chronically ill brother, my Grandma, my sister and my Dad). She could sew ANYTHING, baked like a professional, and gave us everything we needed.
However, I also learned to keep deep family secrets. To hide/deny childhood emotional and sexual abuse. To live with alcoholism and pretend it wasn't happening. To know that a happy home may be hiding dreadful secrets.
Wow, this thread is really something!
