I REFUSE to eat over it!

Hey Pam, Thanks for the uplifting words and all the hugs.  I am breathing better this evening, after all the support from everyone, and just being able to "talk" about it. Thanks again!

Hi Cara,
First of all I feel for your situation. I have 3 children,now grown but when I divorced my oldest was 16, my second oldest was 13 and my son was 7. my 13yr old rebelled quite a bit eventho her grades were very good. My son and I had the best relationship but he began lying to me..subtle at first but became worse. His grades began to slip and his temper was starting. I took him to counseling cuz he didn't or wasn't able to talk with me about what was really bothering him. He was able to open up freely to the counselor....everything was confidential. The counselor did give me some direction on how to work with my son day to day tho. This helped but he still got into his share of trouble. He had some "new" friends that were not very good influence. I "grounded" him quite a few times...he hated it but he now thanks me for "staying on him". I was very "unfair" during his bad times but now he's thankful and I can relax. The hardest part was staying consistent and keeping in close contact with his teachers and his friends parents.
I understand what you say about lying...I detest lies.
Good luck and hope things work out well for you.
Alice

Alice,

Thanks for the feedback..It's nice to know that your son can look back now and appreciate all you did to get him where he is today. I had a good talk with my son after he got home today, and my husband also talked with us a little while ago. I'm sure we will have many more bumps in this road, but as long as we can talk about it as a family, I think we will be ok.  I, being a woman, need to verbalize more than my son and husband do, so it is nice to be able to come here and lay it  all out...helps me work things out in my own mind, as well as receive all the goodies you all have sent out to me today. Thanks again for your good wishes and for sharing your experiences with me.

Huggs,

Cara

I was a teacher for over 34 years but middle school has to be the worst age.  They are still kids but think that they know everything.  Things will get better. & feeding yourself won't do a single thing to help.

Thanks Marcia!  I can't imagine being in a school full of kids this age...I don't envy the teachers and I am trying my best to support them and thank them for all they do for my own child.  It's better today, and I am just accepting today gratefully!

I am still waiting for some futuristic person to come up with a method whereas Our kids, at age 8 or 9, can be put into hybernation and artifically fed all the knowledge they would learn until the age of 18 when we would wake them up.

bette m

hahaha!!  Well, I still have the high school yrs to get thru, so maybe that futuristic person can speed it up and get that method figured out soon!

Cara...

I applaud you for not letting the little monkey make you eat.  That's awesome.  I don't have any advice for raising little kids... my daughter was pretty easy but I remember going through some rough patches with my son when he was that age too. 

Every time you DON'T eat when faced with a situation will make you stronger.  I'm just so happy that you are being strong.  Wooo hoooooo!!!!!

Thanks Laura!  I managed to get thru the day without even thinking about the bucket of Halloween candy hidden somewhere in my kitchen....I can honestly say it never crossed my mind.  So I think that is one won for me!  I ended up scrubbing some of my kitchen cabinets and mopping the floor instead....it worked.  hhehehe!!

Hi Cara,

Please be on "high alert" with the lying and keep your mind and eyes open.

I have a 36 year old daughter who was an absolutely great kid until she hit about 13 and it was like somebody flipped a switch.  She began lying and still continues to do so, to the point where the lies are not only bizarre, but extremely hurtful to others.  She is also lazy, cannot hold a job, and cannot maintain relationships with anyone. 

Though she has not been diagnosed because she won't get anywhere close to mental health help, I strongly suspect she suffers from Narcissistic Personality Disorder. 

I'm certainly not saying that your son is suffering from anything this serious; however, I wish I'd paid more attention to what I thought was "normal" teenage behavior when my daughter first began to exhibit the behaviors she has adopted as her lifestyle.

I look back now and realize the writing was on the wall right in front of me, but I neglected to see it because I just wasn't tuned in to what her behavior actually reflected. 

Please don't make the mistake I made and simply think it's "normal" teenage behavior because the price you will pay if you're wrong is a costly one. 

Repetitive lying is not normal teenage behavior...