CONFIDENTIALITY???????????

Well, I contacted my Human Resources at work just over a wk ago that I was having surgery in December and need 3 wks off. I asked the person to keep it confidential, that I don't want anyone to know that doesn't need to.
She said that was understood. I was working a large blood drive on Thursday and the team supervisor came up to me after we were done and said "you're having surgery"? I asked her to keep it quiet but yes and who told her. On Friday I worked with the same TS at our fixed site and when we were alone she said that a returning co-worker told her on Thurs. This returning co-worker had to have some refresher training in Madison for a few days before returning to her job. This co-worker also is very close with management in Madison. But this co-worker has a HUGE mouth. I made a call to HR and explained the situation and how angry I was that this has happened. She said she was going to investigate it and handle it. In other words...so sad, too late. Thank God I didn't say what type of surgery...I'd have my phone ringing day and night. Meanwhile I'm just going to keep my ears opened and if asked, not say anymore then I have. The group I work with, for the most part, are nasty, nosey gossipers. This upcoming surgery, to me, is very private and when I'm ready to let people know more about it I will.
This may not sound like a big deal to some but if you knew these "ladies" I work with, you'd understand.
Most of these ladies just want to know to have a piece of gossip to share not because they care.
Alice

Alice - I have worked with people like that - I am fortunate to have very supportive people in the ER and when I decided to tell - they have been great !  And it is so nice to have them say - your scrubs are getting too big and I can see more weight loss every day.... and on and on !

HR will have to answer for what has happened and I recommend that you stay on top of the outcome. 

Good luck
Shelia

Thank you Shelia. I'm going to call HR on Monday to check out the progress in "the investigation". This person that blabbed was briefly in trouble 2 yrs ago for falsification of documentation and wormed her way out of it....a federal offense but knowing the right people helped her save her job and jailtime.
Thanks,
Alice

 OMG        Alice, I'm sorry you are having to deal with this.  I have seen this type of behavior before when I worked in an office with over 65 women....  it is a big deal.  No one should have to be "talked" about.  My thoughts and prayers are with you.  Quietly but firmly let them know your personal business is none of theirs....   Millie

Thank you Millie for your support. What ever happened to professionalism? I used to work with a great group of ladies that new what professionalism meant but they all left except 3 of us dinosaurs. They could not take the lies and mistreatment so they went on to other jobs. The 12 newer staff have totally different priorities on the job and live off of others' problems. I smile, do my job, take great care of my donors and stay out of the griping and gossip. I've worked alot of different jobs as a nurse of 36 yrs and feel this job would be my last one, finishing out my career taking care of well people that want to be there and that have giving hearts.
Thanks,
Alice

Alice,

I don't blame you for being upset.  What's done is done, and I think someone owes you an apology, but if you make a really big deal out of it, that may actually increase the likelihood that others will find out about your surgery.

Jean

Alice,
That is sad yet maddening too.

One of the women in the support groups works with an almost all male staff. When they asked about her surgery, with downcast eyes, she responded "female surgery". They have left her alone since then.

I am not recommending you do that, just thought it might give you a smile.

Kisses
Annette

Thank you Everyone.... I know I overreacted on here..needed to vent...I wanted to have some control with this surgery coming...I know it's my choice to give others my power or not and since I'm able to "get it all off my chest" here I'll feel better before returning to work tomorrow. The company I work for is what it is. I shouldn't expect it to improve just adjust to it.
Thanks for your support.
Alice

Alice,
I completely understand!  And I am sorry that you have had to deal with this.  I had to let people know that I would be out so they could plan ahead concerning my support.  But I have not told anyone what type of surgery. I told my boss that it was having lap gastrointestinal surgery and that is it.  I am lucky that my company uses a third party to handle all the the claims information so there is no one at my company that knows the details.  I even had a coworker man ask me if I was having female surgery or what kind of surgery was I having.  I responded that it was personal and he responded back just like I said female surgery. (didn't he think he was smart). Hang in there. This site has been wonderful for me because I have told my husband and three friends only. This sites has provided much support. I am not ready to share with others either and not sure that I ever will, although most likely I will.  At my company people whisper and criticize the people that have done this surgery.  They are ignorant and I did not feel like being one of their victims. So I completely understand.
Teri 

Hi Alice,
I'm coming out of lurkdom because reading your post made my heart pound. I don't know if you were posting here when I mentioned some of my work issues surrounding my surgery many months ago but...

I just want you to know you ARE NOT overreacting.

I left my job I loved, of almost 8 years, after my surgery because of harassment and retribution (won't go into all of that stuff) related to my having surgery and that I would not "postpone" it when my bosses got themselves into a mess personnel wise. I had already had all of the tests and I was private pay. I could not postpone. Well, I never told anyone at work what surgery  I was having but they "assumed." The director went so far to demand detailed notes from my surgeon which he refused to give her stating only that it was necessary and not able to be "postponed."(He did tell her it was esophageal and it was also that too)That really pissed her off and she took the notes faxed to her from my MD and SCANNED them then e-mailed them all to several other employees that had no need to know. It was on his letter head so all they had to do was see what kind of surgery he did. Then, she lied to my MD office trying to make me go back to work before I could. LONG STORY...very many twists and nastiness. No recourse as the HR gal was in on it too. I am in counseling now trying to work through that...
One of these bosses was my so called friend...anyhow... it is your business. I had never been in "trouble" and had all excellent evals and was told over and over how "wonderful" I was. Hmmmmm...
I thank God I didn't tell or things would of been even worse as they would of tried to say I could postpone...they did not play by the rules man made or even just compassionate human being rules.
Sorry to go on...but I don't think you owe anyone any explanation or that you are making a big deal out of nothing! It also sounds like you handled it very professionally and that the HR person is also aware of whats not OK. Sounds like that yapper lady is known to be a yapper.

Apologies to you all for going on and on....this is a real button pusher for me. And even worse when I haven't posted for so long...

You do what your gut (no pun intended) tells you to do Alice. Hang in there!
Cheryl