Emotional Eating

I know some of my reasons ... boredom, loneliness, self-esteem issues, depression ... a lot of the times when I start feeling these, I try to call a friend (sort of like Who Wants to Be a Millionaire ... use a lifeline ... I always have my Phone a Sista ... I'm usually available on weekends and early in the morning ... after midnight ... late at night for you ... so if you feel the urge to eat, call me, Jan). That's why I joined OFF. I needed to find friends. I thought having friends was better than stuffing my emotions. If I can talk, I can't eat as much.

Jan, I'm serious ... you can always call me ... often at night is when I want to stuff my face the most. It's the time I'm the loneliest and want to cry the most, and when I want to cry is when I want to eat. I usually stay up til at least 2-3 a.m. eastern time. If you can't get to sleep and need someone to talk to, call me. Use your lifeline.

Thanks, Eileen - you are a true friend!   The funny thing is that I'm not depressed.    If I were talking to a friend on the telephone, I'd have a peanut butter & jelly sandwich in the other hand....    I think there's an emptiness here somewhere, but I don't know what it is.   I have lots to do & lots of friends, but seem to want to fill the emptiness with carbs...   Nobody ever said I made smart choices.      No matter, I think using a lifeline & calling a sister would be good --- but I think my DH would think I was crazy for sure.    He sure doesnt understand, although he does try.   For him, if he wants to knock off a few pounds, he just cuts down on his candy, nuts & ice cream for a few days.

You know, people who don't have these problems don't get it ... my mom doesn't understand either. When I was dieting all those years, she'd say, "Just eat less." Well, duh! I know that. I just couldn't do it. I wanted to. But I get lonely, unhappy, unchallenged at work, disgruntled, bored, in pain, etc., etc. (you name the emotion, I ate for it). And there it was, I was nearly 350 pounds. I wouldn't say I was clinically depressed ... but I was unhappy. I said I ate to fill the voids in my life ... the emptiness. I still have some voids, and so sometimes I still want to eat, fill it up with food or things that I don't need. And there's no reason for either choice. If I'm on the phone talking to someone, I don't do it. I can't order things from QVC as easily if I'm talking (well, I can ... on the computer ... but I stop and think about it ... because one of the reasons I order from QVC is to talk to someone ... stupid, isn't it?)

I too have lots to do and lots of friends ... but those friends aren't here and there not as easily accessible to me as I would like. They have families and kids and grandkids and lives ... as one of my college friends told me once ... "get a life" ... when I called her and was upset we couldn't get together one year at Christmas time.

My brother is often my lifeline for me, but we talk only once a week. A lot of times when I need someone to hold my hand, to get me through a rough patch, it's late at night, and no one is up. And then I have to fight off my demons and hope I don't hit too much food (and I don't always win these battles). Or I sit there and cry, like I did last year at Christmas, because I felt so alone and listless and depressed.

Jan,

You came to the right place to unload - we are all in the same boat. It is a never ending battle.

The sisters gave you good suggestions - they always do that

Try going to your support group on a more regular basis. That seems to give me a much needed boost each week.

When we first started, the weight was coming off and it was so exciting to see the progress. As time passes, the weight loss dwindles - not quite the same.

At the groups you meet people who are just beginning and they look at your achievements with awe. Now THAT makes us feel good about how far we have come and is an incentive to "keep on keeping on", as Marti would say.

Il send you hugs and kisses with both barrels and no holds barred.
Annette

I have a write up I'll find and email you, Dr Bolivar did it, he is really good, he is on the CA boards....
I use to think I could handle my 5# either way...up, down, up, down, etc.....now that 5 turned into 40.

Hi Jan

I, too, am in the same boat.  I have not lost any weight in almost a year.  I don't eat a lot but eat all the wrong things.  Carbs are a demon with me also.  I don't know what the answer is.  I wonder why I continue to eat the way I do, knowing that someday I will get on the scale and will have gained back 10, 20, 30 pounds.  I guess if we had a good understanding of this kind of behavior we probably wouldn't have needed the surgery to begin with.  I think Eileen's suggestion of getting some counseling is an excellent idea.  I have insurance but there is still significant out of pocket expense and I cannot afford that.  I know in my area organizations like Lutheran Family Services and Catholic Charities will make referrals for counseling and charge based on ability to pay.  You may want to check out something like that in your area.  Otherwise I think the support group is a good idea.  I wish I had some pearls of wisdom to share with you but all I can do is empathize and hope you find the answer within yourself so that you can stop the behavior before it causes significant weight gain.  I'm glad you shared with us.

Jan, my heart goes out to you.  You've done so well thus far.  I must admit, I'm in the same boat - gee, this boat is full!  I contribute my mindless eating to the time change, and the stress of the new position at work.  I know these are just excuses, but it's what I believe.  I'm hoping to get back on track.  Another reason (excuse) is I don't have the time to check in with my wonderful OFF family and I'm having withdrawals.

Wishing you luck,
Debbie