Need input from wise sisters/brother

Aloha my OFF family....and good Sunday morning.

I've been struggling with something for a few days now, and thought to myself, why not ask my OFF family for their input.

Dec. 3rd I am scheduled to have panniculectomy (tummy tuck) on Oahu. That means I fly over the day before, stay in a hotel and have pre-surgery tests done, and then surgery on the 3rd. When I had the original RNY, my son came from the mainland and was with me the whole time which I LOVED, but I also could have done it alone....not easily, but it could have been done.

This surgery is more invasive.....cutting from hipbone to hipbone. I have felt I could do this alone. On day of being released, I figured I'd have a wheelchair to taxi, then wheelchair to the plane, and friends could pick me up on Maui. People are telling me NO WAY, JOSE! My neighbor who is an ultra sound specialist has a boyfriend with a small plane, and they have offered to come over and pick me up....which is a HUGE gift of love....but I'm not sure I could get into a small plane with my stomach bound up, drains, etc.

I need input from people who have had this type of surgery, or who know someone who has to give me some guidance. Could I do this alone, or do I really need help getting from Honolulu to Maui? To me, it is such a big sacrifice for someone to come over and get me...and I hate putting anyone in that position, even if they have offered. I'm a big "I can do it myself" person....and this has me questioning myself.

My son says to talk to my surgeon (smart kid!) which hadn't even crossed my mind.....Ha! Anyway, I needed to put my thoughts and worries down here to be shared with all of you, and will deeply appreciate your nuggets of wisdom, suggestions, advice, just TLC.

OK..back to laundry, and then some slug type behavior out on the lanai with a good book. Hope you all are having a great Sunday. It has just begun here (6:45 a.m.).

Aloha nui loa,

Maui Karen

P.S. I guess I could go into the Plastic Surgery forum, but then I don't know anyone in there......want my family!!

I sure wish I had some words of wisdom... but really, I don't know what to advise at all!

I mean, to me if someone is offering to help, and others including your surgeon are advising that you accept the help and don't try this by yourself.... and since you are asking this tells me that you don't know either...

Hmm..... Guess I would swallow a little pride and accept some help...

I know it's hard to do.... because I have the same problem of accepting help...

Best of luck... you have my prayers for a safe operation and recovery pretty wahine

Aloha Marc...my wise brother....

It's good to hear from someone else who has trouble accepting help. I think I'm going to have to trust all of you who have said the same thing....and just graciously accept the hands held out to me. It's not easy, but I'm going to put on my big girl pants, and DO IT!

THANKS for caring.

Aloha nui loa,

Maui Karen

Hello Dear,

I'm with Marc and think if folks are offering help, you should accept it.  One year, many moons ago, on  my birthday, I had a bunch of friends who wanted to throw me a little get together.  I was usually the one who wanted to throw those things....but I stood in my bathroom, looked in my mirror and told myself that THEY would get great joy out of this, even if I felt I wasn't really worth all the fuss.  That gave me the extra oomph I needed to accept what they offered to me, and I loved every minute of it.  Please, even if you think you can handle it alone, let those who want to offer love and help to you, do it.  It will give them great joy and you will find some warmth in accepting what they are offering you.  You are worth it.  Many huggs and wishes for a quick recovery Karen.

Cara

Aloha Cara, and thank you for your perspective on this. I forget how good it feels to help someone else in their time of need, and I'm actually thinking being so self sufficient is actually selfish and not allowing my friends to get close enough to let me lean on them.

I really appreciate what you had to say, and I so understand every word!!

Aloha nui loa,

Maui Karen

I say if people are offering to help, take them up on it. I don't think it would be easy to get into a normal plane (especially a puddle jumper) with drains etc. You can pay them back with dinner or something or a gift card ... find out what they like. But you know the karma always bounces back. You have done things for others (I think I remember hearing you talk about how you helped elderly people around your complex, right? Well, let someone help you in your time of need.)

If they want to help, let them. People like to feel good.

Aloha Eileen.....I so appreciate your words of wisdom. Getting into and out of a small plane has me worried, too. It was be such a treat to be picked up in a little plane and flown home, but I remember when myfirst husband used to fly us around in them....you had to be a bit of a monkey to get in and out. I AM a bit of a monkey, but NOT with a binder, drains and on pain meds.

I especially love your line "People like to feel good." Thanks, sweetie.

Aloha nui loa,

Maui Karen

Okay, MY MAUI KAREN, here's the deal.

I stayed two nights in the hospital  Take two nights.  You will have drains and they are a little tough to navigate with.  We ARE women but we AREN'T roaring right now. 

Here's the key. ASK YOUR SURGEON.  He will know what you can and can't do.  The small plane may be fine if you have wheelchair access to and from and someone to get you situated.  Karen, you will be sore... and you will tire easily.  Take any help you can get. 

Candy has been a godsend.....no, a GODSEND...... She's put me in the shower, given me strength and her arms to get situated in bed. 

Please let those who love you help you.  They aren't doing it for you, they are doing it for them. 

We're going to be just fine. 

Janet

Ah, there's my bestest redheaded sister who KNOWS OF WHAT SHE SPEAKS!!

You are a current surgery grad, and I really really wanted to get your take on this. I'm not going to have as drastic of procedure as you did, but still it's a slice open from hip to hip, drains and all. And, I will ASK THE SURGEON .... next week in fact. I don't know why that little tidbit of good sense didn't occur to me before!! Duh.......I must think I am superwoman or something!! Oh, hell...I can just swim home from Oahu!!!

I can't tell you how glad I am that you had your surgery so close to mine.......it was like you were my guide into what has now become kind of a scary procedure. I had NO FEAR of RNY....none....but this one is spooking me a little.

Candy is your guardian angel, for sure!! What a gift you are to each other......they don't get any better than that. And I will pay attention to your words (and others) to let people help me. I knew I would get what I needed from this bunch!

Thanks, sweetie.....and I would hug you if I could...but it would be so so gentle....a virtual hug!! 16lbs! You are going to be a miniature Janet!

Aloha nui loa,

Maui Karen

Don't know the config of the private plane, but you don't want to be doing any tiwsting or turning to the extreme.

If you can get help at home for the first few days, YES, you need help getting in and out of bed, and showering.

It is a BIG surgery.