Need prayers and angel

Thank you sweet kathi-kins secret pal I so enjoyed giving to.  I just don't dwell on negatives or problems, and had bottled it all up til it just boiled over last night.  Fell asleep and will be ok--getting very tired but will get more rest and promise to email you later sweet lady.  I just am too good at constructing 'walls' then can't see the forest for the trees.  I'm here, just gotta get good sleep and thank you so much for shortening the miles between us.  There sure are some good people on this forum and will not stray away like I did--am all for being together through thick and thin....will be in touch very soon...if not, am sleeping/resting sweets.  Feelin' the love, Patti

If I only lived closer and had vacation time/money left, I would be glad to come up and help you out. But ... of course, I can't. I really wish I could, because I am I often in the same boat as you ... alone with only my cats and nearby friends to call on, those at work, to help out when I'm having surgery (but I do have my family who will help when they can). Those of us who are single must stick together! Whatever you do, don't take this guy back for any reason. Is there a visiting nurse association where you live? You might be able to get someone in to help you out that way. They're usually free, especially in cir****tances such as yours. Are there cat sitters in your area? I know of one around me that I trust implicitly. I understand how it is to be alone ... I deal with it daily. It'll be OK. If you need to talk, e-mail me and I'll give you my phone number. I work nights, but I'm home during the day, and all weekend. I wish I could do more for you.

sent you a PM...thanks

Patti,

I wish I lived closer. Reaching out to us was a good move, we can give lots of emotional support.

YES - you will be fine. MS takes away so much but seems to give a strong will to survive. Sometimes that means yelling SOMEBODY HELP ME!!! We are here to help.

The cat: a couple of suggestions - call the person from the church. If you have a social worker, call them. Call the ASPCA, they may have a list of volunteers to offer services. Since you live in a public housing building, is there a cleaning person or front desk person to ask for help?

HUGS and kisses
Annette

Annette,  you're so sweet.  Am over the embarrassment of crying for help, and bawled myself to sleep last night eightish, awoke one or so, and about ready to take the night med and really sleep.  Ibelieve  got cat-care taken care of.  Prior to hospital discharge, their social services will assess the situation for home nurse and PCA (surgeon said no home nurse 'may' be needed as he wants to see me weekly to ensure all goes well. plus will be doing my own daily cumudin shots since I alrealdy do daily injections for the MS and the new needles are also tiny and sub cutaneous--no problem!  
Regarding 'pub housing' the building janitor cleans common areas only, and no front desk, just the manager's (often) locked office.  The in-house 'social worker' isn't really, and caters only to the mentally ill, so I'm confident in wrking with the hospital's social services (more professional).  Good news--inadvertently found a gorgeous place in another suburb which has mostly elderly (my passion) and only tenants with physical disability, not mental.  Will be pursuing that in the spring as I just don't fit in here.    Whole 'nuther story for way later.
Looking forward to working tomorrow and Sun.--there my priority is the elderly residents, where I give hugs, listening ear, do whatever I can to put smiles on those sweet (mostly!) faces.Always walk into  the front door, leaving all my personal 'stuff' outside.  Just love it, and will miss being off til the weekend of Nov 15, all through the grace of God.  Am tired ready to get to bed for real, so gotta say 'catch 'ya later'.  I feel so much better now knowing there are so many compasionate prayers and caring thoughts.  All so appreciated.  Will post little updates through the weekend.  Take care of you, still recouping from your surgery.  Can't wait for this to be through so I may offer 'experienced' support to 'pay it forward.  Enjoy a lovely weekend dear former secret pal with the 13 (?) black kitties!  Love and hugs, Patti

Oh Patti...I feel so bad....I am sorry you are feeling so hurt and alone!!

I did answer your email to me...hope you got it.

PLEASE stay away from that man....he is so wrong for you. Honey you deserve soooooo much better. I know it is hard as it sometimes feels like someone is better then no one. Believe me that isn't true!!!

I wish I could be you angel....I explained in the reply to your email. You will be in my thoughts and prayers. You know I care. I just can't fit anymore on my plate right now.

Love ya...prayers are on the way....gentle caring hugs...connie d

Hi Patti.

I also have MS and have some friends through meetings with the MS Association America and the MS Society.  Maybe you could get someone through them to lend you a hand? 

My daughter has cats and has come back to visit at times leaving them to fend for themselves for 3 days or even 4, so think if surgery is uncomplicated you might be able to leave them with one of those tower water and food bowls that drop out more when the bowl empties.

One other thing practically speaking is that you should be able to get a visiting nurse to help out for when you come home post-op.  With your disability and no one there to help, at least you can be assured that for the first couple weeks you will be getting assistance.  Most hospitals have great social service departments for help at home afterwards.

The psych stuff... oh boy... I have had abusive relationships with fellas who turned out to be total sociopaths.  It was TOUGH, totally understand that kind of grief.  It is not an easy process to deal with and I will be praying for you.  I can't do more than that being across the country, but want you to know that you are not meant to be anybody's doormat.  Being meek is not the same thing as being weak, so you be strong!  I pray your guardian angel will hold you closer and you can rest easier.  Love yourself, give yourself a great big hug!

Patti C

patti; your post has stuck with me...i'm glad to see that you were feeling better last nite( you reply to annette )- and the idea of pursuing diff housing in the spring ( or earlier??) sounds promising-
for now tho--
how long do they project you should be in hospital for this surgery? i am sure that your cat wiill be ok for 3-4 days- leave plenty off food and water and maybe even a second litter box -even a cardboard box lined with a garbage bag and litter would be better than nothing....a tv or radio on something low and a lite? ( i know cats see well in the dark but still!)  i often leave a tshirt that i have recently worn or a nitegown --on a chair or somewhere the cat  will sleep -so they can smell me....

you have identified part of your problem and that is the need for self care--to take care of patti!!!!!!!!!!!! don't stop now!! you are working hard at it and will see results!!! we , many of us, tend to be the caregiver and do -all for everyone but ourselves!!!! it seems like the dark is trying to take over but you won't let it!!!! you go gf!! we are here....

and stay away form that bf...he is not good enough for you.......

sending more hugs and prayers!!!!

Margo, now I'm teared up again but again with much gratitude for all the positive support and love from this board!   I'm OK today--have had tons to keep busy, but that's good.  Two local peeps contacted me and I got a good kitty sitter, plus an angel to post updates on this board and the state one.  You wrote exactly what I do when gone even a couple nights--for Chloe, my night shirt, radio on low easy-listening,   Due to low vision from MS, I have night lights on  247 in  bedroom, bathroom, hall, living room, and kitchen to prevent falling in the night.

Per surgeon last Friday, due to the extenuating cir****tances (MS) I will in inpatient "for awhile."  He assured me I will not be discharged until he and I are both confident I'd be ready to go.  During that time, social services at this hospital will assess my situation and make determination accordingly regarding home health nurse (although the surgeon wants to see me weekly indefinitely), plus I will be giving myself daily coumadin (sp?  blood thinner) shots, which isn't a biggie to me since I already do daily shots for the MS (since 2001).  Know I'll definitely want to get back to the comforts of home with Chloe (meow).  Was  hoping for a PCA, though do have two local friends who now insist on letting them know what I need.  My cup overflows now with love and angels all around--and I almost put 'hovering', but not at all derogatory!  Thank yo again so much for your huge heart and soul.  I so appreciate every one of the people out there behind me through this.  So very glad I asked for help when I did.  Ever so grateful, with full heart, and zero anxiety.  Much love and hugs to all, Patti