Need prayers and angel

I know you're all out of range geographically but II really need a friend right now.  Overslept and missed my psychologist appt this morning, and am falling apart now.  Gave the ex boyfriend his cat and every item of his that was at my apt yesterday.  Felt so 'free' then, but today I got weak, let him give me a ride, he's selfish, got his cat 'living' in the car with him. and I quickly had him bring me back.  Spent the last several hours  here alone, shaking hard, can't stop crying, and  it got darker out, I can't turn the lites on, just sitting.  Am so alone in  the deepest darkest hole----realized I am totally alone.  I gave up my family, my friends---everybody for over two years of him. I'm having double surgery Monday morning.  Down to just my cat, and have nobody I know/trust to take care of her.  Now here I sit, even went through the MANY names in my cell phone direcotry, my mom, a sister, a best friend, and I have none--I have those but none 'accessible' for my current need. Am not one to ask for help, and now ready to ask for help----nobody home.  .  long story short (dysfunctional family with sibs, I never married or had kids, I have many friends, but I'm the one who they turn to, Im the strong one---so where do I turn when I'm the one who needs help?  My apartemnt is totally claen, laundry all done/put away, got groceries and cooked up little freezer meals for when I come home from surgery.  I live alone, and have a cat.  I have nobody to take care of her.  Because of having MS, I live in public housing bldg and I'm the only person I know of here of the 80 units because of physical issue, all the rest come from Vail Place, for people with mental illnesses.  That's how I med Ed, didn't find out til seven months into the relatioship that he's bi-polar, and I suspected alcoholic, though of course, once I'was in so deep , I kept expecting things to get better.  Ha. and Here 'better' sits, broke, sad, lonely, afraid, nobody to turn to.  This guy physically assaulted me twice last winter...I'm not stupid, just very forgiving and now I see the 'battered woman syndrome'..  I need help. I've been sucked dry emotionally, physically, financially.  I need  a friend. My state's board is not good for me--too cliquey and feel like a freak, having MS.  This stress is not good for Ms much less three days from surgery.  I'm a good hugehearted person who just gave, gave, gave too much, and now nothing left, except everyting's just too much.  eam going to call a lady from my ex's church. think I'll be ok, just so alone.  thanks. having double thigh lift surgery Monday morning--please send a card if you have the directory with my address.  will be ok, just so alone. thanks.

the only thing i have i send willingly...hugs and prayers...and you'll need to watch for my card!!!
wish i could help with the cat!!!can you board it at the vet's? i know- that' s money...
thank you for comimg to us....you are not alone--we are just geographically out of range! ( i like that patti!)

Patti

I'm so glad that you are reaching out to us.  Please know that we genuinely care and are praying for you.  Can you call your psych back and reschedule for tomorrow since you are having surgery on Monday???


Jeane

Patti...
I would love to reach out and help you. If I lived closer I would take care of your cat in a heartbeat!   I think you need to talk to your psych soon... get some rest... take care of yourself.  Keep posting here because we are here to listen and help in any way we can.

thanks Laura, sent you a PM

Thank you Jeane, I got a good sleep and feeling better.  I know the psychologist will call in the morning, and the only ride would be from the ex which I will no longer see him and not taking his apologetic (pathetic) calls.  Am just hoping for a phone short session with the doc.  Otherwise, will get in the rest, sleep, protein and water.  Is my weekend to work )part time receptionist at assisted living facility for elderly is very therapeutic as I forget about myself there--everything I say/do is for hugs and smiles for them.  Am actually looking forward to getting to the hospital five a.m. Monday because before discharge both the surgeon and social services will ensure all bases will be  covered before they let me go.  No falling through the cracks over there I know.  Thanks again, I will definitely keep communication open here.  Am honestly feeling the empathy and compassion for which am so grateful.  Will keep going forward and stronger with the OFF genuine support, so appreciated. Thank you.....again Jeane.

I'm glad you got some good rest.  And I hope you do get to take to the psych.  I am also glad you like your work. 

Be sure and take care after your surgery. Will there be anyone to help you? 

Jeane 

Margo, thank you so much for your note.  I had a good cry last night, fell asleep and getting back to many caring friends.  Am going to get in my protein and water, and sleep, rest, sleep.  If nothing else, will leave out tons of bowls of water and food for my cat and she'll be fine.  I'm actually looking forward to going to the hospital just for a break-sounds sick, but will be so good getting home afterward not having the pre-stress and later be able to just rest with the feet up, walk, sip, eat high protein, and cuddle with Chloe.  It's goign to be ok, just all came to a head last night.  Am comfortable knowing the surgeon will closely guard the extenuating MS cir****tances regarding treatment and discharge, and social service at the hospital is available to assess the discharge plan.  All will be fine.  Working on keeping the faith and prayers.  Thank you so much Margo.  Am definitely feeling the luv and support, so gratefully.  Hugs, Patti

Patti,
YOU ARE WORTH MUCH MORE THAN THAT piece of  man who assaulted you ....Please dont let him do that. I know how tough it is to be alone and want someone in your life ..I am single too although have met someone who SEEMS to be the best thing since sliced bread. I have met ALOT Of losers since my divorce way back so I hope it is true so there is hope my friend .
I wish I lived closer as I would help you ...
PM Me you mailing addy please as I want to send you a card and such...
Hugs
Shirley

Say it ain't so, Secret Pal o' mine.

I'm so sorry to hear you are having a bad time of it right now.  Wish I weren't so far away......  I didn't even know you were planning surgery either!  Yikes...

You have my prayers and special hugs today.... tomorrow..... and the next day and the next day.....

Keep posting to us and let us know how it goes, ok?  You have my e-mail and I'm always good for a cyber-chat.

Take care of yourself.  I know you will.

Kathi