I am back home from Memphis and very disappointed

I have been to Memphis to my neice's wedding - left last Wednesday and returned home today. 
I had told my sister and my mother about being banded and that even though I had lost weight, I felt like I looked a lot like I did in February. Although I weigh less today than when  was there in February,  I had gained some between February and August - my surgery date.  I wanted them to know that I was eating differently than before.  And told them the *rules* for the band.

Well - nothing was said about my weight loss.  I am more than disappointed because I have worked very hard to be where I am today.  I have more energy - I didn't need to get an extension on the airplane seat belts - I could walk the airport without huffing and puffing - and I know that I have done the right thing for me!

My mother had prepared a cheesecake type pie and said I could eat it.  When I asked how she made it, she said out of a box - all I could think about was a no-bake cheesecake mix that I didn't think was sugar free and fat free.  So when I asked more questions, she got rather ugly about it... She then put down a box of Jello SF, FF cheesecake pudding mix and said *there*... I then asked about the cool whip that was used and the graham cracker crust... Needless to say I never got a straight answer and I didn't eat it.

I am so glad to be home... I did buy some low carb slim fast and had for breakfast for 2 days, but now I can get back to my usual plan.  I will weigh in the morning.

I have missed everyone so much on this board.  It is wonderful to be home and read everyone's posts.  I will be catching up for the next several hours, and I see there are some new people, too.  Hope to meet everyone soon.

I am sorry I am whining... and this is long.

Shelia

Shelia, some people just don't get it and probably never will. It is easier for us to get it simply because we have so much to gain from it. They cannot always adjust to change and we can't fault them for that. Heck, most times I can't adjust to change either. They want things the way they always were and can't understand why you have to watch everything so closely. I was fortunate with my family because they are so excited about the change in me. Bill's family on the other hand adapted so well because I was the 4th person in his family to have the surgery. So they were so use to it. haha

Just stick to your guns and let them see that you are committed to this and they may change as time goes on. But then again maybe they won't and there isn't much you can do about it, so just go with the flow and be a duck. They let the water flow off their backs so just let their remarks and/or actions flow off yours.

Sending you love and hugs, dear girl.

Thank you Brenda... I had told them that I had not lost a lot since the last time they had seen me in February, but had gained quite a bit between then and the surgery...  I even took some pictures of my retirement party and I was at my highest weight then...

Oh well - I am doing this for ME not for anyone else and the support I get frmo my OH family and my youngest daughter is enough.. And the people I work with are very supportive, too. 

Thank you for your support and I will be a Duck!

Shelia

I think most folks are just uninformed.  They don't spend most days talking about WLS like we do.  And our society is conditioned to know that discussing a lady's weight can be dangerous territory so they shy away from the topic. 

My best advice, from The Four Agreements, is:
1.  Don't take anything personally, including other people's reactions
2. Don't make assumptions, allow experiences to be what they are
3. Always do your best.

   And for inquiring minds who will want to know, the other one is:
4. Be impeccable with your word (no gossip, do what you say, on time)

Bright blessings and blissings, Carmel Valley Linda

Linda,

I will have to remember the 4 Agreements... I am always glad to have someone else's perspective on this journey...

Shelia

And furthermore...Congratulations! 
Well done!  
(As if we needed anyone else's approval...)

Sheila  -  I am so sorry that you were disappointed.  You be proud of your success and we will be, too.

Ahhhhh  -  The Four Agreements.  Should be mandatory reading, well maybe suggested reading, for everyone.  Understanding and living by the four agreements makes life so much more  easier and simpler. 

The first agreement makes me think about my mother's comments about my weight when I was a kid.  She would say to me, "Margaret, look at the size of your arms".  Or, "Margaret!  You're not going to eat all of that, are you?"  It took me a long time to realize (well past her death 25 yrs. ago) that she was really worried about her own weight (she was about 20# overweight) and talking about herself.  I think that her own fears came out when she saw me getting chubby.  And I think that we have probably all done that type of thing when we hate something about ourselves and take it out on someone else.  Of course, a 12 year old kid wouldn't care that she wasn't really talking about me but herself because it hurt my feelings, but, as an adult, I can look back and understand. 
I love The Four Agreements.  Thanks for mentioning the book Linda.  
Namaste. 
Margaret 

Shalom, Sheila 

Welcome back...

If you do this for someone else, or to impress others, you are almost guaranteed disappointment...

Do it for you... and you will very pleased!

I love a man's perspective - short and to the point !  And I am doing this for me and my health...

Thanks, Marc,

Shelia