[Joke] A Cowboy Named Bud.....

 

A cowboy named Bud was overseeing his herd in a remote mountainous pasture in California when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced out of a dust cloud towards him. The driver, a young man in a Armani suit, Gucci shoes, RayBan sunglasses and YSL tie, leans out the window and asks the cowboy, 'If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, Will you give me a calf?'        Bud looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, 'Sure, Why not?' The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer,connects it to his Cingular RAZR V3 cell phone, and surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo. The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg , Germany .. Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the image has been processed and the data stored. He then accesses a MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet with email on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, receives a response.   Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on hi****ech Miniaturized HP LaserJet printer and finally turns to the cowboy and says, 'You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves.' 'That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves,' says Bud. He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on amused as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car.       Then Bud says to the young man, 'Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my calf?' The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, 'Okay, why not?'   'You're a Congressman for the U.S. Government', says Bud.      'Wow! That's correct,' says the yuppie, 'but how did you guess that?'      'No guessing required.' answered the cowboy. 'You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew,to a question I never asked. You tried to show me how much smarter than me you are; and you don't know a thing about cows...this is a Herd of sheep. . . . Now give me back my dog.

That reminds me of someone I know.
Thanks for the chuckle.
Carmel Valley Linda

That's funny Marti!  Thanks for sharing it.

Hey, by the way, what are the folks in Wisconsin saying about Aaron Rodgers?  I'm hoping it is positive, since he's a home town boy for me.  A couple of good games, eh?  I know he's not Brett, but he's trying hard.

Ev

I think he is well liked....you are right he is not Brett....but Brett was not "Brett" in the beginning....Hugs, M

oh i like that one!!!

Cute Marti, it's good to laugh in this political turmoil...
here's one I found on the main rny...

Post Date: 9/18/08 2:38 pm
I copied this from the US site -


You know You've had Weight Loss Surgery When...

* I have a date" does not mean you're going out.
* You have baby food in the house and no baby.
* "I'm a loser" is a good thing.
* "Welcome to the other side" doesn't include death.
* New clothes fall off in a week.
* You get excited about hand me downs.
* The scale at Wal-Mart no longer says "one at a time please".
* Going bald and getting wrinkles is a good thing.
* "Jus****er for me please".
* When your rear end no longer looks like a mudslide.
* When you get excited that your incision was "only 4 inches".
* When the word lap has nothing to do with a strip club.
* Other women are calling you names behind your back.
* When you are glared at in the plus size department because you don't "belong there".
* When you really don't have a thing to wear.
* You have to prove you are the person on the driver's license.
* You start being in the pictures, not behind the camera.
* You want to hug everyone fat and hand them your surgeon's card.
* You are never parted from a bottle of water.
* When you order a doggy bag at the same time as your meal.
* Being too small for your britches.
* When the only way your nipples are where they belong is to roll them up, position them with your bra and secure with a ponytail holder.
* When you go to the mall and take the first available space instead of circling 20 minutes for one closer to the door.
* You truly are a "cheap date".
* When one drink makes you flipping floozy!
* When you run to the door and don't hear a flapping sound.
* You flip your shirt to show complete strangers your scar.
* Vitamins feel like a meal.
* You go from a 56DDDD to 32AAA in a year and didn't have a breast reduction.
* You've just lost 100 lbs and run into a high school friend who asks "did you change your hair?"
* You can cross your legs... both of them!
* Instead of a Wonder Bra you need a Wonder Where They Went Bra.
* When your obsession from food turns to your scale.
* They no longer call 911 for the Jaws of life to extricate you from a turnstile.
* No more Velcro shoes.
* When your Stairmaster is no longer used for drying your fine washables.
* your mother says "You don't eat enough."
* When your doctor looks you in the eye and says "I know you will have success with this."
* Having sex your husband complains that your hip bones are poking him.
* You can wear corduroy pants without igniting a fire.
* When you wave and your upper arms wave back.
* You safety pin your underwear.
* Someone phones and thinks your husband is sneaking around with some skinny mistress.
* Cannot blame the cat/dog for shedding.
* Cancel your Lane Bryant Credit Card.
* 3 Lean Cuisines a week and that's your total grocery purchase.
* The kids wonder what happened to the cake and cookie god...did he die???
* Having to constantly BLAME the dog for your gas!

Love it!

Jean

   hahahahahahahaha!!!!   Thanks Marti!!

Hugs, connie d 

Glad the boss is home "sick" today as I just burst out laughing.. "Now give me back my dog,"I love it

funny funny stuff!  City slickers, gotta love 'em.

And I never thought I'd laugh about the things that made me cry, but boy did it feel good.  AND it's a hoot to see someone who hasn't seen me in a few months walk right past me! 

Thanks for the smiles, ladies.

Terri