Is this TMI...?Thanks all
Thanks for all the responses on my previous post about revision surgery. I haven't been back on for couple of days since I work.
For those of you who asked what caused me to not reach my goal weight, 3 mos after I had my r n y my son died in an accident. I died with him, nothing at all matter after that for a long time. I was on the verge of accomplishing something I had wanted for years. I was finally going to be "normal" in size. I was sooo... happy. Then nothing, a black hole for the rest of my life, I thought. My perspective on life was so different.
I was concerned for my daughter as she was the one who found him and tried to give him CPR. It was to no avail since he had probably died well before she found him but she heard gurgling and thought it would be all right of course.
He was 23 and she was 26 at that time. My daughter loved him so much and they were my only two. I knew how I felt but couldn't imagine what she went thru. That was in July, time was moving, unfortunately, and then in March of 2003 my husband was diagnosed with gall bladder cancer. He wasn't expected to live. Thank god no one told us that until after that year. He did live and has been a 5 year survivor. At the time however, it was just another devastating part of our lives. From what I know now, less than 2% survive.
All of us have started pulling ourselves back together and have been mostly successful. Last year my husband became very sick. He was told because of the radiation that saved him he is now going to die if he doesn't get a new liver. Of course, he will have to get to deaths door before he would qualify for one.
We have all had to come to grips with the cycle of life so to speak. I have another opportunity in revision surgery and I'm going to seek it at all cost. I have to be healthy for the trials to come, you see.
I will go to Mexico if I have to and pay out of pocket but I understand there is a Dr in Arizona who does revisions and I have an appointment in Michigan with a Dr on 12/19. Wish me luck everyone. I'm very nervous I will be turned down.
Sorry about venting my woes. I know we all have stories.
Thanks
Carolyn
For those of you who asked what caused me to not reach my goal weight, 3 mos after I had my r n y my son died in an accident. I died with him, nothing at all matter after that for a long time. I was on the verge of accomplishing something I had wanted for years. I was finally going to be "normal" in size. I was sooo... happy. Then nothing, a black hole for the rest of my life, I thought. My perspective on life was so different.
I was concerned for my daughter as she was the one who found him and tried to give him CPR. It was to no avail since he had probably died well before she found him but she heard gurgling and thought it would be all right of course.
He was 23 and she was 26 at that time. My daughter loved him so much and they were my only two. I knew how I felt but couldn't imagine what she went thru. That was in July, time was moving, unfortunately, and then in March of 2003 my husband was diagnosed with gall bladder cancer. He wasn't expected to live. Thank god no one told us that until after that year. He did live and has been a 5 year survivor. At the time however, it was just another devastating part of our lives. From what I know now, less than 2% survive.
All of us have started pulling ourselves back together and have been mostly successful. Last year my husband became very sick. He was told because of the radiation that saved him he is now going to die if he doesn't get a new liver. Of course, he will have to get to deaths door before he would qualify for one.
We have all had to come to grips with the cycle of life so to speak. I have another opportunity in revision surgery and I'm going to seek it at all cost. I have to be healthy for the trials to come, you see.
I will go to Mexico if I have to and pay out of pocket but I understand there is a Dr in Arizona who does revisions and I have an appointment in Michigan with a Dr on 12/19. Wish me luck everyone. I'm very nervous I will be turned down.
Sorry about venting my woes. I know we all have stories.
Thanks
Carolyn
Sorry to hear about all your sadness'. My first thoughts here are have you been checked by your doctors to make sure your mechanics are not broken? Have you gone back to basics? Have you tried the 5 Day Pouch test to reset some of your pouch settings?
Revision surgery should be only if the mechanics of your surgery have failed you....Most of us fail the surgery but can kick start back to losing again....
Revision surgery will not have the rapid weight loss like our initial surgery did, the loss is lots slower and the mainentance is just as stringent.....
Consider all your options of starting from basics before you go to the expense and pain of revision...
Good luck and keep us posted....
Revision surgery should be only if the mechanics of your surgery have failed you....Most of us fail the surgery but can kick start back to losing again....
Revision surgery will not have the rapid weight loss like our initial surgery did, the loss is lots slower and the mainentance is just as stringent.....
Consider all your options of starting from basics before you go to the expense and pain of revision...
Good luck and keep us posted....
Women are angels.
...and when someone breaks our wings, we simply continue to fly...on a broomstick.
We are flexible.
Darlene
...and when someone breaks our wings, we simply continue to fly...on a broomstick.
We are flexible.
Darlene
The information that I have is to go to 5 day pouch test.com and that should tell you what it is. I know that is something that you do over a period of 5 days and it is suppose to jump start your weight again. They do not advise it for people like me who are early into the wls things.
Darlene is the best one to pm with any questions that you might have. She knows ALOT and will have answers for you. She is one that I really listen to a lot of times.
It's not what you gather, but what you scatter
that tells what kind of life you have lived.
i had gone to ypsi before my surgery- dr poplawski is awesome and they were in my network- but i ended up having surgery in columbus-well groveport ohio -also barix
i swear by barix-until they want money that isn't owed to them!
i would have to agree with darlene to be sure that your mechanics are still all in place...i had some issues with my own hubby's health a year out from my surgery- that sent me spiralling into regain-almost 33 # --i can not top your story and i am saddened to learn of your sons' passing and your hubby's health issues..i can only send hugs and prayers for those things and offer to listen....your family's situation must be the most important thing in your daily scope of what to do to get by....
(as i am reading this i don't think this is sounding right- i sure hope you understand my sincerity here! some days the English language and i don't jive!)
point tho is that you may not need a revision--rather a back to the basics-which the 5 day pouch thing will offer and then getting your head back into losing mode....
get checked out and see if your "plumbing" is in tact....and keep us posted!
i swear by barix-until they want money that isn't owed to them!
i would have to agree with darlene to be sure that your mechanics are still all in place...i had some issues with my own hubby's health a year out from my surgery- that sent me spiralling into regain-almost 33 # --i can not top your story and i am saddened to learn of your sons' passing and your hubby's health issues..i can only send hugs and prayers for those things and offer to listen....your family's situation must be the most important thing in your daily scope of what to do to get by....
(as i am reading this i don't think this is sounding right- i sure hope you understand my sincerity here! some days the English language and i don't jive!)
point tho is that you may not need a revision--rather a back to the basics-which the 5 day pouch thing will offer and then getting your head back into losing mode....
get checked out and see if your "plumbing" is in tact....and keep us posted!
I get up every morning determined to both change the world and have one hell of a good time. Sometimes this makes planning my day difficult.
- E. B. White
Carolyn, my heart is breaking for you and yours during all the time of upheaval that you are all experiencing. Know that we are here for you any time that you need us. We offer love and acceptance and a shoulder to cry on whenever you need to.
I understand the feelings that you have with the loss of your son. I have lost 3 children (all before birth, but we all share the same maternal feelings of love and dreams for their futures from their conception) and I have found such great comfort and love from the organization Compassionate Friends. We are a group of bereaved parents, grandparents and siblings and offer the strength and hope of the future to those who at times think there is no future. I fully understand all of the feelings that you expressed about you dying when your son did. We all know what you mean and there is times that you are always going to feel that. I guess what I am meaning to say is at Compassionate Friends we let you know that there is a new and different beginning for you. We have been dealt a crappy hand (to be blunt) and after we realize that our lives go on and our children would want nothing but that for us. We learn a different life and we are never the same people but we realize that we can live differently in this world without the physical presence of our beloved children. If you can't find a chapter of us near you please let me know and I can always find one for you. There is hope and please don't lose focus of that.
They hope that I mention is also for you husband too. God always takes care of His own. He loves us and will never forsake us. All we have to do is go to Him and tell Him of our needs. Please keep the faith and know that there is an answer for everything.
Please post often and let us know of your situations. We care and are always here for you no matter what happens. I am sending you love and hugs and you and yours remain in my prayers.
I would listen to Darlene about the revision surgery too. She is so knowledgeable and has so much information to share. Please listen to her before jumping into anything. I am not at all familiar with any of the revision things since I am only 10 and a half months out of surgery myself.
I understand the feelings that you have with the loss of your son. I have lost 3 children (all before birth, but we all share the same maternal feelings of love and dreams for their futures from their conception) and I have found such great comfort and love from the organization Compassionate Friends. We are a group of bereaved parents, grandparents and siblings and offer the strength and hope of the future to those who at times think there is no future. I fully understand all of the feelings that you expressed about you dying when your son did. We all know what you mean and there is times that you are always going to feel that. I guess what I am meaning to say is at Compassionate Friends we let you know that there is a new and different beginning for you. We have been dealt a crappy hand (to be blunt) and after we realize that our lives go on and our children would want nothing but that for us. We learn a different life and we are never the same people but we realize that we can live differently in this world without the physical presence of our beloved children. If you can't find a chapter of us near you please let me know and I can always find one for you. There is hope and please don't lose focus of that.
They hope that I mention is also for you husband too. God always takes care of His own. He loves us and will never forsake us. All we have to do is go to Him and tell Him of our needs. Please keep the faith and know that there is an answer for everything.
Please post often and let us know of your situations. We care and are always here for you no matter what happens. I am sending you love and hugs and you and yours remain in my prayers.
I would listen to Darlene about the revision surgery too. She is so knowledgeable and has so much information to share. Please listen to her before jumping into anything. I am not at all familiar with any of the revision things since I am only 10 and a half months out of surgery myself.
It's not what you gather, but what you scatter
that tells what kind of life you have lived.
Dear Carolyn,
I said exactly the same thing as you- "I died with him-" after my brother died in 1990. I was so empty for years. Having said that, I'm so sorry that you had just had your surgery when the tragedy happened. Of course you didn't follow directions and lose weight. You went into survival mode. I'm glad that you are talking about it and moving on with your life now. Keep asking questions. I can't answer your questions, but someone can. I can be here as an understanding soul....and as someone who has traveled the heavy grief road and come out into the sunshine again, I can truthfully say that I only died for a while. There is hope to have a full life again.
Hugs,
Julia
I said exactly the same thing as you- "I died with him-" after my brother died in 1990. I was so empty for years. Having said that, I'm so sorry that you had just had your surgery when the tragedy happened. Of course you didn't follow directions and lose weight. You went into survival mode. I'm glad that you are talking about it and moving on with your life now. Keep asking questions. I can't answer your questions, but someone can. I can be here as an understanding soul....and as someone who has traveled the heavy grief road and come out into the sunshine again, I can truthfully say that I only died for a while. There is hope to have a full life again.
Hugs,
Julia
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