Circle the wagons ..Please

Ok my friends, I need you more than ever. Please be patient with me.
Chuck is in Arizona this week at a convention. Before he left the pastor was setting up a board meeting and he told her he would be back on Thursday night. When she called me to tell me about the meeting I said he won't be bac****il Friday night. I should know I booked the tickets. When he called and It old him, he got mad and told me I was wrong, I said look at your tickets, he looked and said your right, then he went into a tyrant about having to tell the pastor .I told him twice that I already told her and the meeting had been moving into the future. He screamed, "It doesn't matter what you say , what you say isn't important" At that point something broke in me. That's how I feel with him.I don't matter. I can't complete a sentence because he cuts me off.He refers to woman as " pee holes" Sally Rotten crotch"  "Females" ( said dripping with contempt) I lost my work keys a year ago ..someplace in my house.. and I never have time to do a good search. I don't have time for ANYTHING in my life. I was going to take this week he was gone and do that..and a number of other ME projects,, NOOOooo  he informed me I had to take care of his dogs.I have told him many times that I don't have dogs because I don't have the time to take care of them, so now here I am again driving 30 miles and having to stay for 8-9 hours a day. I haven't spoken 10 words to him since I was told that nothing I have to say is important. I have had it, I am done. I have been clearing out everything that is mine from his house. I got help to get my car out from behind a wagon where he had it so I couldn't get to it. My beat up Lumina "embarrassed him" so he made it so I couldn't use it. He got a car for me to drive, then when ever I complained that I couldn't come to his house for this reason or that, he would say, "well it's the least you can do , since I got you this car and pay the insurance" ( A week before he left he pointed out that the plates were expired and he had let the insurance lapse, so I am driving around  in danger of getting pulled over) .If we( the family)  want to go out to eat after church if he doesn't pick the place he complains and makes everyone miserable. Control and manipulation, in everything he does.
 Do you remember in December when the young man opened fire in the mall in Omaha killing a lot of people? There was a big write up in the paper about him on Sunday, there was a paragraph on the report of one of his  phys. When I read it I just sobbed , it decribed Chuck to a T.  Friends, we hear  things now and then that our military troops have done,I think a lot of times we don't believe it. A lot is hidden. Chuck was on a military "kill squad" Like in Granada, he was dropped in first just to kill, so a runway could be made, and there is much much more. When the military was done with these guys they are just discharged, nothing to change how they were trained.. to kill. Chuck has lots of problems.He is a HUGE man and has showed me many times how he could kill a person in one move. He had many many guns but Thank God as his finances got bad he sold them. He won't hunt because he says he likes the feel of killing too much.. ARE YOU UNDERSTANDING??  I have stayed with him this last year because I am afraid of what he would do to my family. I can't do it anymore.And of course he is not all bad, he looks at me with pure adoration, He does so many things that he thinks I would like( again all about him). no one has ever loved him, , But I don't think I ever did either. I have a
" fixer"personality. I so wanted to help him, but I just can't and I am losing myself, I have to leave. My pastors husband is a police officer and he has been about the only person who can speak openly with Chuck, they are going to help me talk with him. My son has made me promise to go to a safe place for a few days. It won't matter, if he wants to get me, he will, and no one will ever find my body. I am in a very real danger. I will be picking him up in the Lumina on Friday night so he will know then that something is up. Tonight I have a meeting with the pastor to set up how we are going to talk with him. I imagine on Saturday. I really really am afraid. I am going to call in sick tomorrow to take my mom to some doctors appointments.I will be on (here) Tomorrow night as I will be sitting at his place ..sigh.. dog sitting. Then I'll check in Friday morning. Please PLease have me in your prayers this weekend. I desperately need it . I love you all..

I'm not sure who Chuck is....boyfriend? husband? relative? but who ever this person is I say 'KICK'EM TO THE CURB'.....what they don't realize is that you are the most important person today....and tomorrow......If you don't take care of you, you can't do anything for anyone else....

Give back material possessions......they can always be replaced......but you can't.....if need be, get a restraining order on him....

This doesn't sound like a good chruch going "christian" to me....

I've told a few others here that I have an extra guest room if anyone needs to escape harm.....

Please let us know you are ok often......don't hide from us an make us wonder.......

Sending angel  wings to hug you close while you go thru this...

I have a good friend in NE close to you if you need help.....she is a wonderful person.......let me know..

Thank-you, You made me cry, but then everything makes me cry the last few days. Chuck is my boyfriend/fiance.. I have been going with him for 3 years.

I didn't mean to make you cry...sorry...... I know how you feel Jean, I have been in abusive relationships and am ending an 11 year marriage that I thought was my soul mate......we are ending friendly and I think that is worse than if we hated each other........

Put the dogs into a kennel and you go into hiding.  A lot of men use terroiristic threats of how they can kill this one or that one to maintain control of the people in their lives; however, it is better to be safe than sorry.  Kick him to the curb and never look back.  I'm telling you, any man who is so misogynistic that he uses female anatomy as a way to poke fun of or to say hurtful things to the women in his life must be avoided.  YOu listen, we are not pee holes or ****s or any of those other awful names that women haters use, and by staying with him, you are perpetuating an environment of abuse.  leave. leave. leave. 

He is half way across the states I wont leave th edogs, plus they are behind on shots so a kennel won't take them.   Im going sista, Im going. Thank-you

Hi Jean,

I am with Jeannie and the others who have posted. Go to a women's shelter. NOW! Although the restraining order is something that is a good tool for some situations, a person like Chuck, it may just **** him off more, so first get to a shelter. Then talk with those professionals there and see what they recommend. Put the dogs in a kennel if you can, if not, leave them water and food and take care of you.

I will be praying and sending all positive energies to you,

Cheryl

Thank-you Cheryl. I do have a shelter lined up, I won't stay with any friend or family because he woul dfind me there and put them in danger. But really a day or 2 probably won't help much, just hoping to be out of his reach for the initial reaction..

Good job, Jean, smart lady you are!

I have been thinking like Karen C. Didn't know what to say to you. Sounds like you are really doing what needs to be done. Yes, those couple of days will help. You will be safe, will be able to think and can talk to some who do this for a living....helping woman in your spot.

Take care, hugs and more hugs,
Cheryl