Happy Hump Day!

Good morning Brenda and Friends!

Brenda, my heart aches over how you are being treated by those insensitive jerks.  Any fool can see all you want is to give lovingly to this child.

Annette, glad to hear the procedure wasn't too bad.

As for me, my head is on crooked.  I need to straighten up before I wind up in real trouble.  Last night was a night of grazing mindlessly.  I'm going through some crap right now and eating my way out isn't going to do any good.  Time to put those big girl panties on and deal with it head on!  I cannot do my usual dodge the issue to save peace.  'nough said!

Debbie

Good Morning all!  I slept in today until almost 8am!  Rare for me.... I decided last night about 9pm whilst still sitting on the tub tiling until my hand and shoulder screamed in protest from using the nippers that today would be a day to do what I wanted to do.  I was supposed to meet someone for lunch, but she called and is getting hives. (No big deal to me, but evidently it is to her.....) so that's canceled.  I do have a doc appt at 3pm so that is my ONLY PLAN! It is supposed to be nice today, and I am going to do what sounds good for 1 day of this working vacation!  I declare today DEBBIE DAY for me!  LOL!  I probably will clean house or maybe even work some more on the bathroom but ONLY if I want to!  I may spend the day outside on the patio in the shade reading a book and sipping tea, who knows?  Well everyone, have a great day.  Again no real news from me~

Good Morning Dear Sweet Brenda and everyone.........

I am feeling alittle more with it today.....at least the crying has gotten better. I guess I just needed to get it all out.

Brenda....you are wonderful! This will pass...children know who the good people are...you will see. As for Bill.....that man is sooooo lucky I don't live near by!! He should be ashamed of himself and his son and the rest of them too.  Just for the record.....I love being single!! I don't have as much money but I have a very good life and I am happy.

Kathi...you are at a stall....are you eating enough?? Sometimes you need to up the protein, eat more dense protein, and overall eat alittle more. Some people sttall because they aren't getting in enough calories. Just a thought.

Margo...as always I am happy to see you. Thanks for always remembering Nic.  You have been missed around here!!

Annette...glad the test went so well. Electric blanket...in August...that has to be a record!!

Debbie G........hope you enjoy your day to yourself!! You deserve a nice relaxing day!

Debbie.....Hope those Big Girl Panties are sexy ones!!  

Janet......single is the only way to fly!!! I love it!!

Hello to Paulette,Cheryl,Susan, Laureen, and Pat........ if I missed someone I didn't mean to...my memory isn't the best ...ugh!!

Love and hugs to all. Prayers on the way. connie d

Thanks for the suggestion, Connie,

I tried upping the amount of food I eat and...... I gained a pound..... LOL  I'm really good about what I eat, too.  I think it's back to the nutritionist for some input.....

I always appreciate your thoughtfulness.... Always time for us with everything going on in your life.......

Hugs,

Kathi

Good Morning my dear OFF Family,

I have been MIA for the last couple of weeks, busy with life stuff, but also trying to come to a place of peace within myself, as this stall, which is the longest to date, has me in a very conflicted mental state. 

One part of me says ok, you are healthier and more physically capable then at any time in the last 20 years and the other part of me fears not making it to my personal goal and therefore failing, because in the past I never made it to goal either and then I gained all my weight and always more.  It is possible, I see others 18 months out and further gaining weight back, that absolutely terrifies me.  I want a cushion of weight loss, I want my personal goal to be achieved, it is not something so low that I will look emaciated, I want to be a normal weight for the rest of my days and I am truly scared it will not happen for me. 

I have been hungry more often lately and while I mostly make healthy choices, there are some times when I give in to a temptation, on a small level, and I generally only allow myself a little leeway on days I know I am going to be working out, but it seems I cannot get away with anything even on that small level, as the scale has not moved below 177 for well over a month now and my measurements have not changed either.  My friends have said they are nervous about my obsessive fear of gaining weight turning into something bigger, I guess I am starting to feel that way too, I think it's time to find a therapist to help me get through these feelings. 

Anyway, I have missed you guys, been keeping abreast somewhat by lurking, just haven't felt like I had anything to bring to the party, but I also know that keeping silent is not necessarily a good thing, so now you all know what's been going on with me. . .

Prayers, hugs and positive thoughts to all, Laureen

P.S.  Where is Aime?

morning brenda and my off family...

annette good to her the scope went ok...

margo nice seeing you posting again!!! are you refering to the main board or the rant and rave?? i stay away from those to much action for me and its not a nice place to go to either...

debbie wow you sure are busy!!! how far are you from wicklife?? (lake co)

brenda...you wait and see this baby will love you the most i can bet my life on it!!!! then watch the jealousy rear its ugly head...lol and yes frankenmuth does have loads of baby ornaments there...(still hoping i can attend the gtg!!!)

cheryl we are also having weird weather here...like summer one day then fall weather the next...just hate the thought of winter...BRRRRR

well i called MMPC and they ok'd me getting my blood test now and i could cancel my appointment in october because i won't have insurance to pay for it. so that trip is out this time...can reschedule it when i get my insurance tho...so blood test is tomorrow if they take michigan bc/bs here...

car is still acting up and i talked to a couple guys at work and they said it could be the fuel filter or maybe time for a tune up...ooooooook so i am going to be calling around to see where i can get the best price on tune up...i also called my lawyer and told her my car was acting up and i would try my best to get there for court monday morning...haven't heard back from her....

one of the workers that checks purchases at the door told me he tried to get WLS and was turned down...said he had to get down to 330 pounds first...i told him to do it and gave him what i knew on what to do...he said he would talk to me more about it again...he is about 400 pounds and needs WLS soon...i wish him the best of luck...said he had kaiser insurance...

well last night i went to the store with diane again and all this drama is driving me nuts!!!! her friend the coke head is in jail now til next christmas if not longer...(not this christmas either) also now get this...she is talking about getting ricks daughter a car...she can't pay the flipping bills she has now so how in the world can she get her a car??????? rick said he isn't going to help her with the payments at all so she better get it out of her head now!!!!!!!!!! i swear this woman has a heart of gold but she has noodles for brains it seems....

well ricks friend john the one that was so nasty toward me when i met him a few weeks ago....he is playing at this local bar with his band and i guess the band red hot chili peppers is going to be there to see them play and then they might be having them open for them when they are on the road...i wish him luck...the night he plays here i have to work til 9 and rick is having a fit...he is supposed to help them set things up...i told him he didn't need your help the other night he played there so whats the deal now? he said i could come there after i get out of work...yeah right.. i do NOT go to bars (especially new ones) alone at night!!! then his mom said she would come pick me up...BS!!!!!!!!! i am not into that heavy metal type music and his is so degrading to women like eminem is!!!!! not my cup at all!!! so we will see what happens...have a week or so to think about it...but i know i have my mind made up already!!!

well not much else right now to say so i will get going and see about my car...hope you all have a great day today!!!

hugs

Good Morning Brenda and Friends,

Wow, so many of the posts this morning strike familiar tones with me. Isolation, grazing, hurt feelings, fear of failure. . . . .Each of these topics would be fuel for a 4 hours discussion among friends wouldn't it? I need a reunion of OFF friends! I need an up front and personal time to sit and share. But alas, that is not to be for awhile for me. Too many obligations, too much on my personal plate. Making not so good decisons about food.

Yesterday for dinner I had a slice of roast beef, very tender, from crock pot. Jan C there is hope. I am over 3 yrs post op and just finally finding meats palatable again. I used to crave a good tender steak. I too found the textures of most meats just about gagged me. At about 1 yr I could eat tuna, canned chicken, potted meat. I had to mix those with mayo. I could eat ground beef in tacos or chili. Tender cubes of beef in stew were ok too. Chicken has to be very tender and with a sauce or gravy.  Last night I had a good sized slice of tender roast with just a bit of A1 sauce. And I enjoyed it and it digested well without any complications.

Trying to make good choices for snacks. Yesterday went better. Before bed I had 1/2 cup of sugar free ice cream with a few almonds sprinkled on top. That seemed to satisfy me.

Crackers just have to be a no no. They become something that is too easy to get any time of day or night.

I so easily get hurt feelings. Mike is kind of clueless. I want him to "get" me and when he doesn't figure something out on his own I feel hurt. I want communication and companionship. To him that is being in the same house, watching tv and him working on a crossword puzzle. And the tv is usually law and order or yesterday 4 hours of rehashing the Vietnam War. . . .

I start a personal pity party and it escalates and if I'm not careful I want to turn to my old friend, food. Yesterday, instead I worked on the "tiger" outfits I'm making for the twins. Made little fleece hats out of the scraps alternating the solid orange with the orange and black tiger stripes. They turned out cute. Bought more orange fleece and am now making pull up pants to go with the hooded sweatshirts that look like they'll fit them NEXT  year! That helped get me out of the blue funk.

This post is all over. Connie, I admire how you handle the stress in your life. The only times in my life I literally "can't eat" are when a loved one is ill.  Take care of you the best you can too. Nick needs you and you need to stay healthy for him.

After lots of heat we now have cold, rain, and wind! Cheryl, hoping that it gets better fast for your trip!

I need to get in gear. TOPS day facing the scale. Don't want to but need to. Hoping just to stay the same from last week. I'm here one week, gone the next, not much consistency in my life right now.

Brenda, hang in there. I don't have any words of wisdom. I am NOT good at confronting situations but I'd sure be tempted to "let fly" and let people know how you feel. I'd probably have to do it in a letter, but it's not fair for them to tell you so clearly what they think and expect you to take it. I take it a lot, not verbal or physical abuse, but sometimes don't stand up for myself when I should. And. . . .then I get mad at myself for being such a doormat!!!

Enough grousing. You all are in my thoughts daily. Take care of yourselves.

Morning Brenda,

I don't think I told everyone here how good your hugs are.  You're an expert hug giver, for sure. 
It was such a pleasure spending time with you in Middlebury.

Went to the doctor yesterday for my back and leg pains.  He gave me another steroid shot, gave me another prescription for muscle relaxers and took an x-ray.  He's also getting me scheduled for a MRI.  The steroid shot sure didn't work as good as the last one.  The pain is  not unbearable, but just nagging.  Some times are worse than others.  It didn't hurt at all when I was with him, of course.  But with all his bending and twisting, it sure hurts today.

Brenda is having her MRI this afternoon and tonight we're taking my computer to a friend who had ordered more memory for it.  He's installing it tonight and checking to see what's wrong with my speakers.  No sound at all.  He says my computer will be awesome when he finishes with it.  I can't wait.

Not much else.  Look forward to meeting Margo and Pat R. next week.

Floyd

Hi Brenda and my OFF family:

Just as I started writing this, the phone rang. It was the nurse from the ortho doc's office with results on my bone scan: all negative. Well, in a way that's good, but in a way, that's bad, because it doesn't explain why my friggin' replacement knee hurts so friggin' much. I would make that stronger but I don't want to tick people off. I'm about to cry right now. I told the nurse I want some answers as to why I'm in pain all the time. My knee hurts when I'm just doing the little bit of cycling I do on my exercycle. It hurts when I sit; it hurts walking, it hurts doing stairs, it hurts in bed. I don't take more vicodin because I don't want to become dependent; I only take it at night when I come home from work. I know I could easily become addicted to it because I have an addictive personality. I really watch popping pills. But I want someone to do something about this pain. I don't think ortho doc is listening to me. Well, he's on vacation this week ... everyone is on vacation but me. I just suffer on.

Brenda, I'm so glad we had a chance to talk ... were we twins separated at birth? We sound so much alike. I'm sorry you are hurting from Bill and his son. Let things die down for awhile and maybe talk to the wife; she will wonder why you are not involved in the baby's life. And if she doesn't care, well, then maybe you shouldn't either (sad to say). Some people don't know what they are missing ... you are a warm, loving woman who has so much to give. So give your love elsewhere. Get involved ... volunteer with a youth group maybe or at pediatrics center; give your love to those babies who don't have anyone. You need to get out and away from those who are hurting you. I love you, Brenda, and hope you get the love you deserve.

Not much else here, just work tonight; need to find a driver for my pain clinic appointment next week ... have asked one more coworker (this is the fourth person I've asked ... three have said no); then home and watch the Olympics. At least I don't have to make a decision tonight ... White Sox or Olympics. I've been staying up too late trying to watch both ... the Sox are winning and playing well, so I've been watching them, then sneaking in a little of the Olympics too. The U.S. men's volleyball team just made it into the medal round ... this is the team coached by the guy whose in-laws were stabbed (the father-in-laws was killed) on the first day in Beijing.

Well, I need to shower ... the Sox play at 2 p.m. so I want to get ready to watch that. Have a good day.

Hi Eileen,

I am so sorry everytime I hear about how much pain your knee is causing.  I am guessing you have tried the balms and ointments and "rub in" treatments with no relief.  Have you tried heating pad or ice to see if it makes any difference? 

Hang in there,

Kathi