Please forget my news........

(((brenda))) hun i am so sorry that he hurt you like that!!!! i know all to well how that hurts!!! and i WAS the grandma too...my kids never let me see my grandchildren at all and after ten years i did see them but they were never told who i was....garys kids never called me mom or step mom...except jeff the oldest son...he always introduced me as his mom...his kids called me nanny judy...til they got older and said i was "too young" to be called nanny judy!!!! then i was judy from then on...i know it hurts and it hurts big time and i feel your pain brenda!!! it was so very mean and uncalled for from your husband to tell you such a thing and i hope he lives to regret he ever said it to you!!!! i am sorry to come down on him like this but damit he hurt a very nice woman!!!!!!!!!! i am sure you would be a great grandma to that child and any other child they had!!!! just sit back and you wait and see who is the "real" grandma to that child!!! and i am sure it will be YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!! just know that we are here for you to vent and any thing else you need from us!!!!

HUGS 

Sorry to hear you're having a tough time of it right now, Brenda.

I agree that a baby can't have too many gramma's.  I share my little one with his other gramma and a "step gramma" but we're all Gramma.  Gramma Kathi.  Gramma Jane.  Gramma Barbara.  Try a little patience and see how it all works out.  Maybe it will given a little time.

Hugs to you,

Kathi

Brenda... Congratulations, Grandma!!!!   You did great with the purchases and your "son" and his wife are going to be thrilled with those Goodies.  This is such a happy time so get involved and enjoy it!!! 
No, I haven't lost my mind!  Your "son" is well aware of what type of comments you live with; he lived with them when he was a child.  You will be a soft spot for him and his new family; a buffer from his father.
Say a quick "Serenity Prayer"... don't argue with Bill... and just live your life around any negative comments... Brush them off with "Uhuh!" 
Only you can empower his comments and behavior.  Stick 'n' Stones... is so childish that it does not deserve your precious time!  You're going to be a grandma so get ready to be all "gushy & mushy" over the new babe!
 Ro

Just a question....

How will the child refer to you?

Will it be Grandma?  Or does your better half intend to have the child call you StepGrandma?

Besides, regardless of what Bill says, this is part of your family too.  And it is your responsibility to make sure the child knows.

My Momma once told me, God rest her soul, that there is never too much love to pass around to a little one, and that if I married a man with children, they would become her grandchildren, too.  And even though I had a very short term marriage to a man with kids, on the one Christmas we shared, by golly she was good to her word.  I would come up with a name that none of the Bio-logical grandmas share,  perhaps in a favorite other than English language, like viva, or Nanna if no one uses that one, and add your first name.. like send cards  from grandpa & Nanna Brenda. Sooner or later Bill, his his ex wife, the step son, and his wife, and all, will grow to accept that you are definately part of this child's love family.. if not bio family.. That is, if you don't dump Bill for being such a grumpy old man before that can happen!  Seriously, I know the Lord will work out all the details. This is part of why He made pregnancy nine months long.

What the heck?? I am shocked!! Pray for them,dear friend.

Brenda, that was a mean thing that your hubby did.  Let me tell you this, my husband is not my children's father and he didn't raise them; we were married after my children were grown.  Now, he has always been around my grands and was there when each one was born and they call him grandad and if you ever see him interact with them, you would never know that he was not their blood grandfather.  We are so fortunate to have him in their lives and I bet in the very near future, your family will be happy to have you in your grandbaby's life.  He is mean and when it comes time for the baby to spend time over your house, it will be you and not him providing care and the baby will call you some form of grandmother.  If he has a habit of hurting you like this, you might want to evaluate where this is coming from and ask yourself do you really want to spend your life being emotionallly traumatized.  It is a form of abuse and hurts as bad as physical abuse so put yourself first and if he hurts you talk to him or kick his ass  out.  Tell him to get a life.  Find you a boy toy or an electronic toy and leave his butt on the curb.  Wow, that felt good.  Please, though, take care of yourself.

Brenda, please don't let those foolish words dampen your love and excitement for this baby.  Your feelings toward him/her are what makes you a grandma.  Stand your ground and don't be denied!
Debbie

Relations come from the heart not necessarily blood. And darlin you have the heart. Enjoy this baby ( men can be such asses) Hugggssssssss

Aloha sweet Brenda......Wow, talk about getting the wind taken out off your sails! I don't understand such cruelty! I agree with Jeannie who said that is abuse........just as much as a beating would be...maybe hurts even more. In this day and age, blended families are the norm, and here in Hawaii we have what we call "Hanai families.".....that means adopted families. I am hanai mom to two or three wonderful young people, and they call me "mom" or "hanai mom" and I love it.

Please refuse to be dictated to....and go on with your life and LOVE that baby. He/she IS a part of your family. I feel so sad that your husband chose to hurt you like he did. I'd like to give him a big 'THWACK.'

ALOHA NUI LOA,

Maui Karen