why are you (were you) obese?

Just the other day, I pontificated at another OH member on this subject.  Sometimes I think that we tend to "overthink" this question, but it's a really interesting one to me.  Here's what I think about me.  What do you think about you?

My reasons for my obesity:

a traumatic childhood (sexual & physical abuse) - I used food for comfort and numbing (but I can't go on blaming my past for my overeating - I have to take responsibility for it NOW)

 adult depression & anxiety - I used food for comfort, numbing, and stress relief

 a family history of obesity (a big factor, I think)

 I love food and I'm a great cook (modest, too)

 no exercise

early-onset menopause

 bad eating habits and laziness (I know, we hate to be called lazy, but what else do you call it when planning and preparing a healthy meal is too much trouble when you can zip through the McDonald's drive-thru?)

 That's my take on it, anyway.

Jean

well let's see:

Had to grow up fast at age 10 and be the "mom". - My mom was very ill physically & mentally for many years. I learned to cook from my dad- comfort foods- and used those foods for comfort

Traumatic event as a teen- that's all I can say

Love to cook and I'm a great cook too! (modest too, LOL)

Early onset menopause (age 34)

Started eating healthy in 2003 but ate too big of portions

no exercise ( I see a trend here)

Paulette

I think it's called what went past my teeth went to my hips.

Been through therapy and have talked through this issue. I know all about emotional eating; here's my take:

youngest kid, left at home alone a lot and ate to fill up the void (mom worked, I was a "latchkey" kid ... not blaming anyone, just stating facts). I would get home from school and be expected to do chores and after chores and homework, I would eat to fill the emptiness ... it's a habit I still use ... eat to fill the loneliness, the sadness, the depression, the boredom. I know why I do it, doesn't mean I can break it all the time.

Kind of clumsy, so didn't exercise a lot, because I fell a lot. Catholic schools didn't have gyms, so I didn't have regular PE.

What I was good at was reading and writing, which meant sitting on my butt; eating went well with that

Loved to eat, but it was always the wrong things.

Also loved sports, but unfortunately I wasn't good at any of them, jus****ching them

I agree with the bad eating habits and laziness ... yup, I've been there.

Can't blame bad families, I know my parents loved me in their ways, maybe I needed more than they could give. That's not their fault. Like I said, not placing blame on anyone but myself. I am responsible for my obesity.

And it's a cycle; you gain weight, you try to diet and you're successful for awhile, you lose weight, but then you stall, and then you stop dieting and gain it back, plus more; you go through the cycle again. It's a never-ending cycle until you find this wonderful thing called weight-loss surgery that seems to be the solution; that and therapy which gets into your head and makes you think before you put something into your mouth that you're really not hungry for. And you find an outlet for the loneliness and the boredom and a place to put the tears. And that's called friends and the OFF family.

I gained about 30 pounds with each child [3 of them in 3 years] couldn't lose them......I worked a year of nights and ate to stay awake...I was the Night Supervisor...[ important I stay awake LOL]!...gained 20 pounds.   couldn't lose it...developed Diabetes..went on insulin for 17 years ....never could lose it......tried every diet in the world...wrote many a check...[doesn't work] ....Doc said you will never never lose weight now that you are on so much insulin....had an RNY...cured my diabetes...lost 100 pounds....but not the addicitve personality I had developed during all those 30 some years......I still can't quite conquer that....I decided I am going to need professional help and have an appointment with a psychologist on Aug. 29.....hope it helps.  That's my story!! Hugs, Marti

Excellent question, Jean.    Unlike many others, I had a great & normal childhood.   I guess I thought my parents were a little strict, but the main thing is they were consistent, treated me with love & respect & were always there for me (Mom still is, bless her heart at age 90!).  

I think for me it's kind of an oral fixation, maybe a compulsive habit.   A way to burn off nervous energy - just stuff food in the mouth and repeat often.   As a child, our diet was strictly regulated & we were provided good nutrition in appropriate portions.    There were some sweets, but they were portioned up & even hidden away when I tried to overdo.

Then, at age 18 I eloped & for the first time in my life I could eat whatever I wanted and as much as I wanted.   I ate twinkies & drank milk the first year (what a great start to give my daughter who was born 11 months after I got married).   I think I did it partly out of oneryness - just proving my Mom could no longer tell me what to do!    It never mattered much to me what the food was (still doesn't), I just find it satisfying (physically & emotionally) to eat.

Eating to live instead of living to eat is a new concept for me - started Jan 1, 2007.   It doesn't take much for me to revert back to prior behavior, but I'm working on it.   You've seen the little mice in the lab experiment that get sexual pleasure when they press the button???  they kill themselves, right?   That's me with food, no difference I can see.
I believe I'll need to fight this need to stuff all my life, or at least until they have wls for the brain. 

My reasons for my obesity:

traumatic childhood (emotional & physical abuse)depression & anxiety
family history of obesity
I love food
inconsistent exercise
bad eating habits
low self esteem
bad love relationships

Here is what I think about me.

Traumatic childhood also sexual and physcial abuse.  When I went for my physcological evaluation. I told her I had been think of WLS for several years and after much discussions, she told me I probably waited until my abusers were dead before I could let myself want to look good.  It made sense to me.  I had lost weight in my 20's and kept it off for 10 years then my abuser moved to the same town I lived in and I would run into him often and that was when I started putting on weight again.  I was told I was trying not to make myself look good by gaining weight.

Genetic -both of my parents were obese.

Lack of exercise, have exercise induced asthma and remember back in school they had a policy all or nothing so they would not let me do PE classes at all.

Also bad eating habits, we live four blocks from McDonalds, Burger King, Kentucky Fried Chicken and Taco Johns.

I was also a closet eater...would buy cookies and junk food and hide them and eat them, if others didn't see them then they didn;t count.

If I stopped and gave this more thought I could probably come up with a lot more reasons.


Now if I go through them I will get a breakfast sandiwch and throw the bun away and just eat the egg. And I can count on one had the number of times I have been there since Sept.

It seems many of us have common threads.
childhood molestation, freedom to eat what we wanted when we wanted, stress relief, disappearing behind a wall of insulating fat, like food, am a good cook-stating fact not bragging! 
Yep, constant battle, sometimes I win, sometimes I don't. 

there is a common thread here and one that i have wanted to explore for some time now. ...
Childhood sexual abuse or any other types of abuse
mine was sexual abuse by an adored family member that i saw several times a year abuse started at around age 3 or so the best i can figure and went until i was old enough to know it wasnt right. around 10 or 11 remember this was long ago and we werent taught sex education of what was right or wrong
anyway i know it was and insulation against the world
would lose it and start getting attention and would gain it back.
met and married a guy that was verbally abusive, if i gained a couple of pounds he screamed and hollered till i lost it
married second guy who slapped , beat, chocked and kicked me all over the place when i (misbehaved?) never did know what i did wrong. lol
got out of that determined after about 2 years of therapy to not let anyone do things like that to me again.
6 years down the road i met Joe and after testing him everyway known to man i finally agreeded to marry him but still didnt trust i dont think and started gaining weight more or less as a test to him , when he didnt say anything i kept going, lol till i was 272 and doing nothing but sitting in a chair all day long becasue of the pain.
thank God that he intervened and showed me where to go and what to do. found OFF and MO board yea have replaced eating frenzy with exercise. have lost 113 pounds and feel great.