Family Says I'm Too Thin

Hi Darlene,

My heart goes out to you added with a ton of encouragement. Congratulations on taking this important step. Tomorrow will be 10 months since my RNY. One year ago I was doubting myself how successful I would be with this, as I would walk into the grocery store looking at a thin person and wondering if I'd ever be that way. I could not walk because of chronic hip pain and wondered if I'd ever be able to hike again and enjoy sitting on the floor and play with my grandchildren.

While I was quite certain that I had a plan to get my life back whi*****luded two major operations plus a lot of hard work exercising and implementing all of the tools I was offered, I was very determined that I was NOT going to be an obese woman sitting in a wheel chair. I knew that I had 1/3 of my life left and was determined to stop at nothing to reach my goals -- mostly to be out of pain.

Ten months later, I am 95% pain-free. I walk 2.5 miles every morning up a hill, do my physical therapy exercising every day. I am grateful that I'm able to walk because one year ago I couldn't from my bed to my bathroom without a cane and waited until I really had to go to even do that.

Do I believe in you? Do I think that you're capable of success? ABSOLUTELY!  We all doubt ourselves at times. Believe in your self. Prioritize your goals and keep them in mind always. On those mornings when I think I'd rather sleep in than get up and walk before going into work I remember last year when I couldn't walk and how that made me feel. After you have your surgery and those nasty sweets are calling you remember how they make you feel. I'm very happy to say that I have never (not once) thrown up or dumped since my surgery. But I've also not eaten a bite of candy, cookie, cake or other sweets (other than sugar-free  fudgecycle or popcycle). 

You're two weeks away from an incredible journey. I'm here for you if you have questions or just need a friend.

All the best to you as you begin this journey of a lifetime! CONGRATULATIONS!!!


Much Love, Kathie

OMG Kathie, I think we are from the same family!!!!!  I never ever get approval from mom on anything I do. In 1990 I did the Medifast Program (oprah) and didn't eat solid food for 10 months, just had protein drinks and protein puddings (ick), and I lost 120 lbs!  Then they closed the place so no Maintenance Program (which was to be part of the deal-into back into food).  My mom kept calling me Puny...........heck at 5'4" I still weighed 165!  Needless to say in the next few years I added that back on plus more!  Fast forward to 2006 and I had a breast lift.  Found out from my sis in law (my 'golden child' brother's wife) that at a family reunion before we arrived that my mom announced that  I just had that done so when my husband of 40 yrs dies (he has kidney failure and is now on dialysis) I will be able to find a husband!  Can you believe that??? So needless to say...................NO ONE  in my family (except my 2 supporting daughters AND my honey) will be told that I am going to do RNY soon! Who needs the grief?!!!!!!!

......and Kathie, I forgot to mention that I am 57!!!!!!  Let's make a pact that we will NOT let our mom's future comments wound us!!!!  Your hard work has inspired me that I am doing the right thing.......as I will be a self pay......................WOW people out there...........for God's Sake......don't tell my mom that I will be spending $25,000 on me!!!!!!!   I would never hear the end of it!!!!!   LOL

Hi Spike,

OMG - We must come the same family! I promise not to tell "mom" - that would put her into an early grave for sure! Whoa, what a commitment to pay out of pocket. I wanted WLS so badly that I gained 25 pounds to qualify for it in 2006. My arthritis and joint on joint pain in my hip didn't qualify as a co-morbiditis; thus I had to qualify off my weight alone. I know that everyone (esp. my mother) thought I was "crazy" to gain weight when I already couldn't walk. Then there was the 6 months I had to go into a supervised weight loss program prior to surgery...I really must be out of my mind to do all of that. Why didn't I just go to Weigh****chers like my brother????

Well, time will tell. In another year my brother will probably have gained back his weight and hopefully my family will still be telling me that I'm too thin! I hope so.

I have before, during and after photos posted. If you ever need some inspiration, please don't hesitate to contact me. I'll be there for you.

Kathie

hi kathi...my family is also telling me i am to thin now...for gosh sakes i am still 190 pounds!!!!!!!! i am 5' 7" used to be 334 pounds and now 190...me to thin??? no way!!! they also tell me my face looks gaunt....yeah right...i believe they are all jealous!!! yes they are all over weight...except my one brother. he doesn't say much at all and his older son just can't believe how beautiful i have become!!!! got to love that nephew!!!! if you are feeling good and all your labs are good and your dr is happy just let the family talk in one ear out right out the other!!!! CONGRATS on your loss!!!!!!

hugs

Hi Judy,

You're nephew is awesome! You are beautiful (but you have always been beautiful). I had a male friend from work that stops by occasionally and says to me that my husband is going to have to watch out. I politely tell that my husband has nothing to worry about. What I really want to say to him is that "are you kidding". This man has supported me while I was fat or thin and is behind me 100%. Why would I even be interested in a man who comes on to me now who probably would have found me disgusting before??

It is truly surprising to see everyone's reactions to huge weight loss. We're the same inside and I think that people forget that.

Thank you for your support. I think all of us have a rather gaunt look in our face ... after all while we're losing weight we're consuming very few calories.

Lots of love and hugs. Keep up the good work.
Kathie

My Mother is deceased (3 years now) but she was always EXTREMELY critical of me and it really left me with severe low self esteem issues. I loved her but she was cruel in that respect. Don't let anyone make you feel bad about your weight/weight loss and finding yourself. Best wishes.

Hi Engel,

I know that I'll miss my mom when she passes, but not her negativity. She always told us if we couldn't say anything nice to someone to not say anything at all. I went to dinner with her last night and I was walking away she commented again on my having no butt. While I was in the hospital having my hip surgery she told me that I may have a young looking face but have an old looking butt. She makes me feel like I'm in competition with her. I'm not and have never been. She's lived a good life and has some fine qualities. Unfortunately she just has this way of putting me down instead of lifting me up. My husband sees all of this and doesn't know why I even want to see her as often as I do (at least weekly). I tell him that she's 82 and won't be here forever and that I'll miss her when she's gone. She is my mother and I love her, but....

Thank you for your support.

Kathie

First of all Kathie, congratulations on your successful weight loss!!! You've accomplished what others dream of!! Don't doubt yourself...family always has a way of  bringing you down a peg or two. They love you. They'll just have to get used to the "new you". Concentrate on your success. They'll find another target in time.
The new beautiful you can do many things you weren't able to before so get out there and enjoy every second!!

Turn off negativity...it's toxic.

Have a great day,
Alice

Dear Alice,

Thank you for your support. I read your profile and was so touched that here are people like you out there dealing with all of their own issues, but able to take a moment to offer support to me. I wish you much success in your journey. It's a fabulous one, watching the fat literally melt away. I'm still wearing clothes that are too big because it's difficult to go out and purchase clothes knowing that they will not fit in a week or two.

There are so many fabulous people here at OFF that are all here to support one another during this journey. It's nice knowing that it doesn't end with WLS or even when a person reaches their goal. We're here because we share something that is still extraordinary. Each and every one of is extra-ordinary (maybe that comes from all of the XXX L sizes we've worn in the past!)

All the best for you along this path.

xoxo Kathie