how are we going to survive retirement?

When my husband and I were first married, 21 yrs ago, he worked 3rd shift and I worked days. After 14 years, he switched to day shifts and we survived it. Now he works days and I work part-time out of my home office.  Mine isn't a job with set hours.  My clients are in China (12 hrs ahead of us) and my US business associates are spread out over the US.  Sometimes I work 1 hr a day.  Other times I work 12 hours a day (especially when I travel to trade shows 5-6 times a year).  I love my work.  I need the money and the intellectual stimulation.  Even when I'm not working, I have a zillion other things to do (cooking, housework, hobbies, exercise). So what's the problem, you ask? My husband normally would have had Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon off (summer work schedule).  He took Thursday off as a vacation day.  AND HE DROVE ME CRAZY THE WHOLE TIME! He kept pretty busy doing yard work, gardening, mowing, etc. but was constantly in my office with reports/questions/smiling face.  I would say, "I have some work to do right now, I'll be with you in 30 minutes (or whatever)", but the whole thing made me crazy.   He wants to retire in 5 years.  I don't want to retire for another 10 years (unless we hit the lottery, in which case I need to buy some lottery tickets).  HOW ARE WE GOING TO SURVIVE HIS RETIREMENT/!  It's worse in the winter, when he has NO hobbies. I really love this man, he's the best thing that ever happened to me, but I don't love him 1440 minutes per day.  Is that awful of me? Any suggestions? Thanks, Jean

Well, meat's getting really expensive but that's such a waste one leg at a time and husbands are so hard to find these days. You could sit him in front of the tv and make him watch Matlock....maybe he'd get out of the house for survival. Buy him golf clubs and get him lessons? How about a fishing pole? Why not take about two weeks and just annoy the hell out of him with togetherness..... he'd probably back off. Janet

*~*~*~*~*~*~* All I can do is chuckle.... when my Ex retired from the Army he figured it would be a piece of cake taking care of the house, yard, groceries and the errands I did before I went to work at a 40 hr a week (plus overtime). He was totally clueless as to what it entailed. He thought I sat around and ate bon bons and I had an easy life. He didn't have to deal with the 3 sons and their school/sports schedules either. He once mentioned he didn't know how I did it. LOL LOL I too like my "space" to get whatever done. ........ Take heart you too will find a way to get around this. Your hubby will too. I won't be as easy as we would like but... life never is. Millie

Hi Jean, I totally understand your fears... I have been thinking the same thing. I work at a school with much of the summer off. I LOVE my alone time. I am encouraging my husband to get outside hobbies and friends too, and it is working. But he will be home a LOT more than I'm used to come the day of retirement. Julia

What a blessing that you enjoy each other's company so much.  I have heard this complaint from so many of my married friends! I think you will have to do what others have done and either schedule standard hours that are "uninterrupted" or perhaps get a small pole-buildling/room that is only your office, off limits for DH and others, or rent a tiny office someplace away from the house. Or you could somehow try to pull him into your business as a partner/facilitator, and give him tasks to do while you do what you need to do. My friend in TX has her husband doing all sorts of interesting things that help her business, and they have started new projects, like being a wood cutting couple, so someone has to spit that wood, sometime.. and it is not her. I wish in my own selfish way that I had the experience, or chance to have this aggravation.  At the rate I am going my retirement will be totally uninterrupted!   Many blessings, thanks for making me smile.

Jean.....sorry I have no answers for you. I am divorced and never plan to marry again. You are one of the lucky ones and have a good man. Things will fall into place eventually. Carry a big whip and a chair until then!!!!   I want to say that your avatar is awesome......great pic!! You look younger all the time. Hugs, connie d

gosh...i am already there! hubby os home-forced retirement-and i am struggling to get outta the house for my 4 hours a day! my hubby isn't able to do the tasks or hobbies right now -he tries-but he isn't able- and so he frustrates himself...i'll be lucky to ever retire tho....... sorry-no help--just had to whine!!!!

Jean, Boy oh boy I can relate. Tom just switched to a 4 day week and I am so glad I am working. Hid extra day off has messed up my sense of order. He plans to retire in January and I think I might go totally insane having him home all of the time. I can't offer a solution but can sympathize with you 100%. Yes, we love these men but it will take a while to adapt to a new routine.  Good luck, you have 5 years to work on a solution, or build a cage to lock him away each day.

That's excellent advice. When I graduated from college and was about to be married to my first husband, my mother told me that even if the marriage lasted a lifetime (which it didn't, but that's another story), I must always be prepared to fend for myself - have credit in my name, do bill paying, participate in all major household decisions, etc.  This was fairly unusual advice in 1975, but I took it to heart even though it baffled my ex-MIL. Sometimes I think I'm too dependent on my husband now.  He does all the yard work, car maintenance, garbage disposal and household bill paying.  I do participate in financial decisions and I'm in charge of managing our retirement funds, but I'd have to hire a helper to deal with our 4-acre yard & orchard and would hate having to deal with garbage disposal and car maintenance on my own.   Jean