Musings: Watch out, Karen C is "thinking" again. . .

I couldn't choose either so will post a separate post and avoid the decision making process. Not good at cutting and pasting or I would just post the same to both "What's New" threads.  Wishing you all a wonderful July 4th however you choose to celebrate or not celebrate.  The little town of Corning, AR where my family is from has a big "reunion" each year. Many of the school classes have their reunions then and many famliies gather. There is a picnic, barbecue, fireworks, and a car give away each year in the town park.  I haven't been there for the 4th in about 3 years. I'm about due again as there are fewer and fewer of my older family members remaining.

I am reminded today that "freedom isn't free." Why oh  'why do we have to fight to maintain or find peace? I so appreciate those who are in the military. But my simple little mind keeps thinking why can't we all just get along without having to use force and violence?  I always have thought that should be a country's leader's job: Just let the two leaders duke it out and whoever wins, wins. . .

Enough of what I can't control and back to what I can. I have enjoyed renewed health and freedom with the loss of over 180 lbs since 2/15/05.  I too have regained about 10 lbs. Why do I let myself get complacent? The tool is still there if I choose to work it correctly. No where on  the Cheetos bag or saltine sleeve does it say there are grams of protein.  So why are they finding their way into my trap? I'm walking the dog and going up and down stairs daily. But. . . that isn't the same as a vigorous hour or two at the gym or a long, quick walk without a 5 lb dog stopping here and there to water the bushes every minute or two.

Today we celebrate with Erin and Josh's little family.  Clara is waking up wanting "Mimi time."  I love holding the girls on  my lap in front of me. Go****'s nice to have a lap again! Three years ago this would have not been possible. Heck there wasn't even room for a little dog. My huge stomach reached out to my knees. This is no exaggeration. I literally had no lap, just a huge shelf that I could rest my huge plate on.  Now I can hold a baby in front of me with her facing me. We talk and coo and I make silly faces. I'm sure they think their Mimi is crazy but they humor me with wonderful lopsided grins! Life is good.

You all have a lovely day and enjoy life as we are blessed with it.  Find some quiet time in this busy world. I will enjoy family, but try my best to refocus. 2008 is 1/2 over~ I need to make  the most of each day. Hugs to you all,

Karen, thank you so much for sharing your thoughts! I know about the belly, I have lost so much weight, I sometimes resent I am not skinny yet. I need to have a panni,but I am fearful. There is 10 pounds that come and go with me, do to meds, but I must find a way to take less of them. I know what you mean about being able to hold your grands too, to have a lap!! To be able to bend down...what a long way we have come. Well, at least my head is catching up with my arse some what. Your piece helped me so much, thank you. May you have a wonderful, blessed day, sweet lady!   

Karen, I am sitting here with tears in my eyes after reading about your wonderful and fulfilled life.  It gives me hope of things that are in front of me that I have yet to live. You and all my other OFF sisters and brothers share in giving me this hope and I don't know what I would do without the experience that you all share with me.  I have the hope of knowing that I can do whatever I want. I can think that I am no longer in prison~the prison of my own negative thoughts and the prison of my own body. The body that I now look back on and wonder how did I ever survive in the life that I had when now I know the true happiness of living and being able to do what I want to do without the 95 pounds holding me back. I never dared to dream that I would be able to do what I do now. Without you and everyone here I couldn't have the dream. I wouldn't have someone to come to and have them tell me that I can accomplish whatever I want to accomplish. The only thing that is stopping me is myself and my own negative thoughts.  I just want to thank everyone who is so important to me and in my life. Have a wonderful and safe 4th of July. Enjoy all the family, picnics and whatever you are doing at the moment. You are where you are suppose to be weather you like it not. You are precisely where God wants you to be at this time in your life. You are there for a purpose~we are all here for a purpose. I love each and every one of you. You all hold a special and loving place in my life and in my heart. Thank you all for being who you are~the special you that I see and that I love.

OK now, you all have me in tears...you really hit home with me..I still have the belly. Last time I held my grandchildren I had to put them on my knees and they were not comfortable. One of my smaller granddaughters once said to me, "Grandma, are you having a baby like my mommie is?" I just smiled like it didn't bother me and said no, that is what happens when you eat too much candy and french fries. Thankfully she didn't say this in front of anyone else. What I really felt inside was "no, Grandma doesn't really eat french fries or much candy but eats way too much of everything cuz Grandma wants to feel love and food is a substitute for love". I have a therapy appt coming up soon and I feel like I'm going to explode with all these emotions and feelings. I have been hurt ALOT in my past and I find this site as my Godsend. Thank you once again Ladies for the strength you give me each and every day. Alice

I hear you loud and clear Sister. We can offer so much more to the Grand's as the weight comes off. Before, all I could do was sit and watch. Now I can be an active part of their lives. The other day Melanie and I were sitting at their miniature table. You know the little table and chair sets? I would never have attempted the chairs before because they are small and I sure wasn't. Matthew toddled over and wanted to join us. I scooched my butt to the back of the chair and there was room for him in front of me, between my legs!!! Simply amazing. Nah - they don't think we are crazy with our antics, they think we are special.  'cause ... we are!

Why can I write "****" and it prints but I say "Go****'s" and I get the dreaded*****???Hum, just checked. Erin's computer doesn't have the "big girl" box checked.

Aloha and good morning dear friend.....

Your post was so moving, so full of gratitude and deep sharing, and I know those of us reading it will be moved. You ARE living the results of your success! Not having that belly at your knees is a miracle....nothing short. Being able to hold those precious little munchkins on your legs and coo and make faces with them is your reward! Big time! And...ours as well.

One of my primary motivations for have WLS was the birth of my first grandson in 2004. When they first visited Maui and he was 4 months old and I was 319 pounds.....I could only hold him in my arms, but NOT get down on the floor, or go in the pool, or walk on the beach with him. I HATED that!! I vowed to do something and started the long trek to WLS and renewed health, fitness and freedom in my body (my mantra!). Here it is two years later (almost) and I have that in spades......HEALTH, FITNESS AND FREEDOM IN MY BODY!! I have to pinch myself sometimes to believe this miracle has happened, but as you know, I feel it deeply when I'm with those beautiful grandchildren, down on the floor, or running after them in the yard that it has happened, and I am SO THANKFUL!!

Thank you, dear friend, for the loud and clear reminder of how far we have come, and for those of you waiting for surgery of what you have to look forward to.

Your post was a gift this beautiful 4th of July morning!

Aloha nui loa,

Maui Karen

Karen,

Happy fourth and happy independence from fat.  I was just admiring my lap while holding my new grand daughter and thinking how different holding Mathew and Jacob was.  They sat on my big belly and were in a slant and held on for dear life, she, on the other hand, sits in my lap and has room for her toys.  I can even change her diaper with all my leg room. LOL.  Keep enjoying your emancipiation as we all do. HAPPY INDEPENDENCE TO ALL