My first joke!
Hi friends!
I have NEVER posted a joke but this one I couldn't not post!
I think whoever wrote it was spying on my husband and me!
Cheryl
9 WORDS WOMEN USE
(1) Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right, and you need to shut up.
(2) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.
(3) Nothing:This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fire.
(4) Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't do It!
(5) Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)
(6) That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.
(7) Thanks: A woman is thanking you. Do not question, or faint; just say you're welcome. I want to add in a clause here: This is true unless she says 'Thanks a lot' - that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say 'you're welcome' in this case, for that will bring on a 'whatever').
(8) Whatever: Is a women's way of saying **** YOU!
(9) Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's wrong?' For the woman's response refer to # 3.
* Send this to the men you know, to warn them about arguments they can avoid if they remember the terminology.
* Send this to all the women you know to give them a good laugh, cause they know it's true.
I have NEVER posted a joke but this one I couldn't not post!
I think whoever wrote it was spying on my husband and me!
Cheryl
9 WORDS WOMEN USE
(1) Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right, and you need to shut up.
(2) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.
(3) Nothing:This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fire.
(4) Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't do It!
(5) Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)
(6) That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.
(7) Thanks: A woman is thanking you. Do not question, or faint; just say you're welcome. I want to add in a clause here: This is true unless she says 'Thanks a lot' - that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say 'you're welcome' in this case, for that will bring on a 'whatever').
(8) Whatever: Is a women's way of saying **** YOU!
(9) Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's wrong?' For the woman's response refer to # 3.
* Send this to the men you know, to warn them about arguments they can avoid if they remember the terminology.
* Send this to all the women you know to give them a good laugh, cause they know it's true.
We never touch people so lightly we do not leave a trace.
Peggy Tabor Millin
Too funny!!
Janelle 
Too funny!
My husband says that the only two words a man needs to know are "Yes, dear."
Jean
Jean McMillan c.2009-2013 - Always a bandster at heart
author of Bandwagon (TM), Strategies for Success with the Adjustable Gastric Band & Bandwagon Cookery. Bandwagon for Kindle now available on Amazon. Read my blog at: jean-onthebandwagon.blogspot.com
I really like this list of information and it is very true. The person who wrote this one must have been spying on Bill and I too. They sound just like we do! But you know that bad thing is that sometimes Bill still doesn't know it. Do men ever learn? I am beginning to have my doubts.
It's not what you gather, but what you scatter
that tells what kind of life you have lived.
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