What we are eating,and what's eating us!!!! Monday..

Sweet Linda, I'm sorry for your physical and emotional pain.  I love you and pray that you'll soon feel better. I tend to turn to food when I'm hurting, angry, lonely, or tired.  It's the tired thing that's been getting me lately.  I had lost down to 194, then it seemed like all of a sudden I was at 202.  I felt so sad and frustrated, and mad at myself.  I don't weigh every day, because I can't stand the back and forth, it drives me nuts.  Every few days I decide I just have to take a look, and I saw 202, the*****nd thought, "Oh, thank God, back under the 200 mark."  Today I'm back to 200, and I'm thinking, "I'm so bad.  Dr. Warnock's going to be so disappointed in me when I see him Wednesday.  What did I weigh when I saw him last time?  He bragged on me for losing over 150 lbs., introduced me to a new patient and referred to me as a role model and a model patient.  Why didn't I go to bed at a decent time and not eat at night after I'd already eaten everything I was supposed to eat?  My body needed sleep, not food.  If I'd done that I'd probably be at 190 now, like he wants me to be for my abdominoplasty."  I don't want to have my abdominoplasty for a few months yet, just not ready for it psychologically, but I'm getting there.  My husband says that's why I haven't gotten to 190. I feel enormous.  I try to remind myself that I started out at 354.5 lbs., and the 200 lbs. I weigh now is wonderful and amazing compared to that.  I've gone from a size 32 to size 20.  My life is so much better now, but that scale still kills me.  I'm doing the best I can, but in my mind it just isn't good enough.  It's that darned old stinking thinking.  I am a food addict, and I have to stop feeling guilty about that.  It's not a character defect, or anybody's fault, it's simply a fact. God loves me just the way I am.  I am a precious child of God, and very much loved.  The same is true for you!  Feel his love and love yourself!

		Calories	Carbs	Fat	Protein
Breakfast
	Antioch Farms - Broccoli and Cheese Chicken Breast- Frozen, 6 ounces	310	23	13	25
Lunch
	La Tortilla Factory - Whole Wheat Low-Carb/Low Fat Original Flavor Tortilla, 1 Tortilla (36 g)	50	11	2	5
	Dietz & Watson - Gourmet Lite Virginia Baked Ham 98% Fat Free Lower Sodium, 2 oz	60	3	1	9
Dinner
	Lynn's Oatmeal Flax Minute Muffin, 1 muffin	138	16	6	10
Snacks
	Lynn's Crustless Cream Cheese Pumpkin Pie, 1/8 of pie	101	14	1	9
	Cool Whip - Sugar Free, 6 tbsp	60	9	3	0
	Lynn's Chocolate Fudge Peanut Protein Bar, 1 serving(s)	182	13	7	18
Total:		901	89	33	76

Big Hugs & Many Blessings,

Linda, I check on you every time I check this website -- you are a treasure. I still don't understand why our depression has such power over us. Prayers and best wishes for strength and that despite the wall of depression that wants to overpower you, you will be able to feel that warm, peaceful comfort of the Holy Spirit. Marilyn W.

LINDA, WHAT CEREAL BARS DO YOU EAT?  THE ONLY BARS I WAS ABLE TO FIND WAS PURE PROTEIN BARS.  THANKS, JOY