OT: How do you feel about retirement?

I am 54, my husband is 56, and he's talking about retirement within the next 5-7 years.  He's already retired from the State of CT and loves his current job working for the State of TN, but his job requires a lot of physical labor that's taking its toll on him.  I don't know how I feel about retirement for him/me/us.  I worked full time in a major way (60+ hr weeks) for a very long time and a few years ago cut down to part-time when I went to work for myself as a product design consultant.  In the past 6 months, I've been trying to drum up new business (sadly, without success) and work more, not less.  Meanwhile, my husband wants to work less.  One of the problems is that he has NO wintertime hobbies.  He loves to garden and work in the yard, but during the winter he hangs around the house and grumbles about how lousy TV is.  Granted, winter in Tennessee is pretty short, but I'm not sure our relationship could survive having him underfoot all the time.  One downside of working at home, as I do, is that your family thinks that just because your body is there, ALL of you should be available for family all the time.  On the other hand, do I have the energy to keep up the business travel I do now?  I have a heck of a lot more energy now than I did before WLS, but the novelty of business travel is long gone. What are your experiences with your and your partner's retirement plans? Thanks, Jean

my hubby is 14 years older than i--when we met we came into the relationship with basically nothing each! no savings no money to talk about nada ---before he got so very very sick-in 2005--i was working on a plan that would allow him to retire-he was balking every step of the way! he was physically able and we were poor tho had just bought our house and were both making a good enough wage-so--then he got sick and almost died -twice-and then he went back to work and then he fell (3-6-06) so--he is now home-STILL- on worker's comp and soc sec and i am starting a new pt job on monday-i have walked away from 2 jobs in part due to having to shuttle him around and etc--right now- he is driving both of us crazy cuz he physically cannot do many of the things he enjoys-he doesn't just chill very well and winters in ohio are worse than yours- there is more but i choose not to put it on here. i figure that i am going to have to work my rear off til i am at least 70-and this pt job is nowhere near going to be enough but it's a foot in the door. that didn't answer your question at all--if i were independently wealthy i would retire-now! and find a way to keep hubby busy-- in your case working from home-ouch! sorry- no help here..will be curious to see how this plays out for you!

jan makes a good point-she and her hubby have outside interests seperately and together-and friends--michael has no local friends so that makes me his buddy and he gets jealous when i do things without him--my DAR mtgs and such...food for thought... much as he love t o talk i cannot get him to go to the hardware store to chew the fat with the town menfolk or anything fun like that-- when we first were communicating together we both talked of volunteer things we had done- so ithought-cool- we can do things together-NOT! ah well- i digress....

Hi Jean, We have been planning for our retirement too.  I am 54 and my hubby is 63.  He just made an appointment with the doctor to have knee replacement.  One thing we are trying to do is get all of our medical stuff taken care of before he retires.  He is going to try to make it to his retirement age for full Soc. Security benefits which is 66.  He also has a pension.  Second is to have all of our major things paid off like our house, car, etc.  That should be done by the end of this year.  I will not be retiring at the same time.  I will still work full time until my retirement age of 67 or my death whichever comes first. LOL. My hubby is very sedentary because of his bad knees.  He likes to travel but because of his knees we have not been able to do much.  Until he recovers from his knee surgery it's going to pretty boring.  I agree with you about needing something to do.  My hubby has NO close friends. You know, somebody to pal around with.  He is only a year older than his brother and they don't even do things together.  I don't want the responsibility of being his only entertainment or have to sit beside someone who wants to watch TV all day.  I find with the weight loss I am very restless.  Watching TV doesn't do it for me.  I find my self walking around the house.  He wants me to "keep him company".  Sorry I don't have an answer for you.  But maybe it helps knowing you are not alone. Bev

my husband and I worked together a lot before He had his accident with a semi which left him unable to work. So with him being home and needing help a lot I retired at 62 to be there for him and to help him about. We have always gotten along great together but we both have seperate friends and seperate things we love to do. We also have things we love to do together. I think it takes a balance of both to be happy in retirement. 

Hi Jean, I am 52, and DH is 59.  I "retired" when my son was born to be a stay-at-home mom and DH retired last June (07).  Needless to say...argggggghhhh!!!  It is not easy to have him around underfoot.  Plus there is a bit of resentment, as he has not been able to adjust too well.  I get upset seeing him become lazy!  He watches TV, reads alot, maybe  will cut the grass or wash the car, which he did before anyway.  He has also become a messier slob!   I keep telling him to do volunteer work at least....but......... I do a lot of work for organizations and the school, so I am busy, plus the regular daily stuff!  And now, add...DH wants breakfast and lunch, too and he doesn't always want these meals when I am eating.  Just call me the short order cook! I think that along with the financial planning for retirement, we needed to plan emotionally for retirement!! Use that  for my advice!!!!! Good luck, and I think I may go and scan the want-ads in the classifieds!! Have a great day. Lora 

I'll take the husbands' side of the discussion here.  I am 57 and am thinking of retiring next year after 35 years on the job. My wife is six years younger than me and plans to work another 10 years with the thought that one should keep active at all times. Good for her but I do not have the mental energy, interest or sharpness to go farther at my current job. Also I am becoming very aware that the next twenty years will have a lot more health pitfalls then the last twenty. I feel I have worked more than hard enough to take my senior years to enjoy the fruits of my labor. After working behind a desk for 35 years I want to be physically active and enjoy my passions for snow skiing and motorcycle touring. Without my close companion all that becomes empty. I also want to become more active around the house and in my community. Retirement planning is more than just about the money. I am researching the library and on-line to find guidance and I like the book "What Color is Your Parachute for Retirement?" There are a number of worksheets that I have copied and my wife and I fill out our own copies  for review. We make a periodic dinner date and discuss one worksheet at a time to understand what each of our priorities are. We both agree that I cannot just sit in front of the TV all day, every day but I have not narrowed down activity options any closer then that. Since she wants to work some more I have told here that if she finds a job requireming relocation she should take it and I would retire now and follow along. We do not have any family near us now so no matter there.