I PROMISED...

BRAT!!!!  .......  Hi.  Like I care if you like the blonde look or not.......HAH!!!  My men like it!!  I love it (but I admit to getting tired of it now, I've had it since last November - it's sooo 5 minutes ago)........LOL!!  Life good?  You good?  Smooches, J

life has thrown some nasty curves- go down and read my fears post  on this page- many days i really wonder about what i got into when i married michael...ouch...then i remember  our vows.....and the love that was in our garden the day we married..... life could be lots worse tho.....so i try not to have too many poor me days.....

You are a beautiful woman.  I would support you in believing that.  I would support you in finding out just how beautiful, bouncing around maybe off the pendulum and back again, finding center and experiencing your own beauty, love and connectedness.  Mind chatter is the ONE thing that stops us in our tracks.  But hey!!!  Throwing a pity party for oneself is not a bad thing...it gets difficult when we stay too long at the party and then realize we aren't having any fun anyway.  Sounds like you could use some fun.  I responded to your fears post.  I understand and am very relieved to report I've experienced the other side of that.  I had to face it, with my heart in my throat and did it anyway.  I looooove the results.  Now, it doesn't matter what the outside looks like - I like the inside.  Hugs my friend........J

you have always understood me-and kept me focused...thank you! you allow me to experiment with my feelings and my desires......thank you! and you understand taht i will never be normal!ha!!!!! i'm smiling here!!!!!!

Oh Thank the gods you will never be normal.  Jayzuzzzzzzzzzzz I get worried when someone describes themself as normal.  I know "normal" ....I've BEEN Normal, and I am sooooo very uncomfortable around it now.  I have snowbird clients that are NORMAL and proud of it.  I can't stand them!!!  Hahaha.   Normal is wound up tighter than a loaded spring.  I don't think Normal has any idea how twisted it is!!!  ..........................Smilin' is good!!! ...................smooches darlin

OMG, I peeked at your picture and you are gorgeous, but then you always were!  It's good to see you too.  Glad life is treating you well.   Debbie

You have always been so very gracious.  Thank you but I take no credit.  I'm just made this way.  I'm happy and at peace .... finally.  And, you were around to see me all over the damned map!!!  Hope today is blessed for you.......xoxoxo

Hi Jeani, I'm off to work, but I'm glad that you are posting- I want to say that before you get away. Your honesty is evident and I really like to see that! I'd like to post more but it has to wait until I get past this crazy week. Welcome back! Julia

Thanks Julia - I continue to drop in now and again.  It's good for me to do that.  Coming here and saying hello is a lot like returning home after a year at college.  It's a perfect yardstick for me personally to feel how far I've actually come or gone, depending on which way I look at it!! LOL........Honesty, total honesty, as I know it to be for the moment is the only way I can live since surgery.  If I lie in any way, shape or form to myself, or to you I pay for it emotionally, spiritually, mentally and physically.  I cannot "eat away" the guilt or remorse or lack of moral fortitude anymore - I've tried drinking it away, spending it away, sexing it away, drugging it away, working it away......you name it........I've tried it and now having experienced not creating it in the first place is the only way I CAN live.  I've fine tuned it to a degree that works for me.......but first I had to lose my mind!  Thanks again for saying hello.  Good luck on your "crazy week!".........................Jeani

You must have been getting my vibes I was thinking about you just Tuesday and sending good thoughts your way..and I adore adore adore the blond..SEXXYYYY. So good to see you..Blessings