Not sure what to say

Jean R.
on 4/29/08 1:41 am - NY
I had my surgery on 12/17/07 and have lost 77 lbs. I feel great and would have the surgery again in a minute. Now that we are having spring like weather, I am out and about more. When I see people that I have not seen all winter, they notice my weight change. They begin by telling me how good I look and  I should not lose any more weight, then go into their plan on losing weight. Which makes me think that they think this is the easy way out. You know and I know that is not true. What should I say to my so called friends? I did this for me and only me.
Margo M.
on 4/29/08 1:47 am, edited 4/29/08 4:24 am - Elyria, OH
"  I did this for me and only me." (your words!) that is what you need to say--if you feel the need to say anything at all.... you must have felt that the surgery was your way out of your health issues..or you would not have put yourself thru the preop and the post op-you made a lifelong choice and you are working your tool--which btw-deserves congrats!!! 77# in 4 months!wow! i hav enot encountered thos etypes of comments other than my hubby thinking i loked drawn when i was down 82#--but i think he was afraid that i would keep losing and leave him... you need to say what you feel is right--or just say -thank you for noticing and move on!
Laureen S.
on 4/29/08 1:52 am - Maple Shade, NJ
You are doing great!  When people feel the need to tell me their "diet plans" I simply wish them success and I've stopped caring whether they think I took the easy way out, as I've come to realize, for me, that I always thought this was an easy way out, until I chose this path. . .  I just think when people do that, they are simply calling attention to their need to lose weight after seeing how well we are looking, so wish them well with their plan and leave it at that. Hugs, Laureen


My Mantra is that I do not determine my success by the number hanging in my closet, nor will I let the scale determine that success either. . .  It is through trial and error I will continue to grow and succeed. . .  Laureen

"Success is a journey, not a destination."  Ben Sweetland

Darlene
on 4/29/08 2:30 am
This is from my profile, hope it helps. WEIGHT LOSS SURGERY NOT THE EASY WAY OUT [Edit Post] on October 17, 2006 7:53 pm Published 10. It's very expensive. Many health insurance companies don't pay for the surgery, and even when they do, co-payments and other costs add up quickly. Also, it can become very costly to constantly replenish wardrobes as the weight comes off. 9. Recovery can be very painful. Besides the pain from the surgery wound, patients may experience nausea or severe gastric distress. Patients with sleep apnea may become sleep-deprived, with all of the associated adverse affects, when they must discontinue use of their CPAP machines to avoid disturbing the staples creating their tiny new stomach pouch. 8. Recuperation can take a long time. Patients may be “out of commission” and absent from work for a prolonged period of recovery time. In some cases, patients may not be able to return to work or normal pursuits for up to 10 – 12 weeks. 7. It's hard work and a major time commitment. For optimal results, patients should engage in aerobic exercise for up to an hour daily. For bodies unaccustomed to vigorous exercise, this can be very hard. It's also a real challenge for WLS patients to learn all they must about nutrition so they can assure that their food and vitamins are sustaining their body. Finally, it can be exhausting to consciously, carefully and painstakingly chew every bit of food that enters your mouth. 6. Vomiting isn't fun. Nor is diarrhea. It may take patients many months (and frequent episodes of vomiting or diarrhea) to identify incompatible foods and to learn the practical limits of their newly reduced stomachs or digestive systems. 5. It takes extraordinary courage to consciously limit food choices for the rest of your life (and potentially limit social opportunities built around meals). For many patients, life after WLS means treating food as a fuel, not as a source of drama, excitement, comfort or a central life focus: i.e. eating to live rather than living to eat. While some procedures may be reversible, for most patients WLS is a lifetime commitment, requiring a lifetime of major lifestyle changes. 4. Weight loss surgery can be dangerous. As many as .5% of surgery patients may die from the procedure, and up to 5% may experience debilitating medical complications (especially if they listen to their peers' advice more carefully than their doctor's.) 3. It takes great bravery and strength to deflect other people's judgments and society's myths about obesity. Fat people are often blamed and shamed by family and friends with simplistic advice, unrealistic solutions, and uninformed prejudices. Whether it's for genetic or metabolic reasons, diet and exercise, willpower and discipline have never, by themselves, been enough. Our appetite regulators simply don't work. Without WLS, we don't know when we're full! 2. What gives anyone the right to judge which path is right for another? Is a person who runs a 10K taking a “better” or “tougher” route to wellness than the person who walks vigorously every day? Is working with weights better than water aerobics? Different strokes for different folks. Each of us finds our own right way, and how dare others judge our path to health and longevity! By their reckoning, the most courageous thing would be for us to suck it up and die young. 1. For many morbidly obese people, WLS may be the ONLY realistic alternative for achieving a long, healthy life. The newest research provides irrefutable evidence that body weight is largely a function of genes — just like height or a family propensity for cancer. These genes help regulate appetite and metabolism. People prone to obesity seem to gain excessive weight easily, while finding it difficult or impossible to lose it. That's why diets almost always fail and why WLS is currently the only viable weight loss option for many morbidly obese people, according to endocrinologist David *******s of the Veterans Affairs Puget Sound Health Care System. Most people can lose no more than 5-10% off their "natural" body weight by exercising and eating wisely. Decades of diet studies show that more than 90% of people who lose weight by dieting gain it all back within 5 years. "There are exceptions, but when you are speaking of general rules, the only people who are able to lose more than 10 percent of their body weight and keep it off are people who have had gastric-bypass or other bariatric surgery," *******s notes.
Women are angels.
...and when someone breaks our wings, we simply continue to fly...on a broomstick.

We are flexible.

Darlene
 


Linda S.
on 4/29/08 7:23 am - PHOENIX, AZ
You frigging rock woman!!!!

 WHAT WE FEAR,WE CREATE.                                                                                                


 

Darlene
on 4/29/08 7:59 am
I posted this the other day also, someone was talking about this....just shows no one reads profiles much anymore.
Women are angels.
...and when someone breaks our wings, we simply continue to fly...on a broomstick.

We are flexible.

Darlene
 


Jean M.
on 4/29/08 3:46 am
Revision on 08/16/12
I wouldn't read too much into their comments.  Unless you ask them outright, you'll never know if they really think you took the easy way out.  Maybe they're not thinking that all.  Or maybe they're jealous.  If you want to have a discussion with them about it, go for it.  Otherwise leave it alone.  They, not you, are responsible for their thoughts. If someone felt they had to tell me their diet plan, I would just say, "Well, best of luck with it." If someone came right out and told me they thought I'd taken the easy way out, I'd just say, "It's not as easy as it looks."  But no one I know has had the temerity to tell me I took the easy way out, and for all I know, it's never crossed anyone's mind. I don't feel that I have to justify my behavior or my decisions about my health-care to anyone. Jean

Jean McMillan c.2009-2013 - Always a bandster at heart
author of Bandwagon (TM), Strategies for Success  with the Adjustable Gastric Band & Bandwagon Cookery. Bandwagon for Kindle now available on Amazon.  Read my blog at: jean-onthebandwagon.blogspot.com 

   

 

 

 

sperk
on 4/29/08 5:30 am - moorhead, MN
VSG on 02/01/08 with
I take it you tell them that you had surgery? Why do that? If you have to justify yourself just say yeah I have been watching what I eat now. There is no need to let everyone know you had surgery.
butterjoy
on 4/29/08 5:49 am - Elkview, WV
THAT IS TRUE, YOU STILL HAVE TO WATCH WHAT YOU EAT.  THE SAME THING AS "DIETING" WHICH WE CALL IT CHANGING OUR LIFESTYLE.  I HAVE NOT HAD MY SURGERY YET BUT, HOPE TO REAL SOON. 

* Our family is a circle of love and strength. With every birth and every union, the circle grows. Every joy shared adds more love. Every obstacle faced together makes the circle stronger. The love of a family is life's greatest blessing.   
     I have reached my goal! Praying angel:9896

Linda S.
on 4/29/08 7:25 am - PHOENIX, AZ
Hijack!! Good to see ya butterjoy. HUGS!!!

 WHAT WE FEAR,WE CREATE.                                                                                                


 

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