I'm home again, but not whole yet
Hi All,
As many of you know I've spent much of this year back and forth to KS to take care of my mom. We got her settled in her little apartment in Feb. A few weeks later I went back to help her do some of the weekday things the others couldn't do, as they are all still working (younger sibs) and only have weekends. I left on a Monday, knowing that Mom was happy, walking well with a walker, starting to join in activities with her friends. My sister called me early Thursday morning to tell me that Mom had had a heart attack and they were transferring her to Topeka. As that was the day all the planes in Denver decided to have safety checks and many of the flights were cancelled, my DH and I drove...I'm sure we broke the sound barrier a few times. Anyway, I cared for Mom in the hospital for 5 days, 24hours a day (no sleep!). Her heart was badly damaged. Thru the 1st few days her lungs began to fill up, then her kidneys were shutting down. Mom died on the 8th and we buried her on the 12th. She was braver than most folks when faced with the knowledge of their death nearing. She told us she wanted her 6 oldest grandsons to be her pallbearers and reminded me that I knew what she's always told me she wants in her funeral re: music, poem, and verse on her tombstone. I hope I am as courageous when it's my turn. I'd like to think I will be, but who knows till it's their turn? Anyway, I'm back home now, but it'll take a bit for me to be all here. I have so much to do re: Dad, as he's now my responsibility. He's got Alzheimer's and forgets virtually everything. He hasn't forgotten that Mom is gone, but can't remember the funeral or the day 2 of my sisters drove to Emporia to his nursing home to bring him up so Mom could see him once more. And so my saga goes...
As many of you know I've spent much of this year back and forth to KS to take care of my mom. We got her settled in her little apartment in Feb. A few weeks later I went back to help her do some of the weekday things the others couldn't do, as they are all still working (younger sibs) and only have weekends. I left on a Monday, knowing that Mom was happy, walking well with a walker, starting to join in activities with her friends. My sister called me early Thursday morning to tell me that Mom had had a heart attack and they were transferring her to Topeka. As that was the day all the planes in Denver decided to have safety checks and many of the flights were cancelled, my DH and I drove...I'm sure we broke the sound barrier a few times. Anyway, I cared for Mom in the hospital for 5 days, 24hours a day (no sleep!). Her heart was badly damaged. Thru the 1st few days her lungs began to fill up, then her kidneys were shutting down. Mom died on the 8th and we buried her on the 12th. She was braver than most folks when faced with the knowledge of their death nearing. She told us she wanted her 6 oldest grandsons to be her pallbearers and reminded me that I knew what she's always told me she wants in her funeral re: music, poem, and verse on her tombstone. I hope I am as courageous when it's my turn. I'd like to think I will be, but who knows till it's their turn? Anyway, I'm back home now, but it'll take a bit for me to be all here. I have so much to do re: Dad, as he's now my responsibility. He's got Alzheimer's and forgets virtually everything. He hasn't forgotten that Mom is gone, but can't remember the funeral or the day 2 of my sisters drove to Emporia to his nursing home to bring him up so Mom could see him once more. And so my saga goes...
Cheers, Rusty
"You're too blessed to be stressed...so live like you're blessed."
Oh, Rusty - I am so sorry. Your Mother sounds like a wonderful, courageous woman. She and your Father are lucky to have you and other family to count on when they are in need. I hope that you will get a little rest now & have a chance to pamper yourself a little. Taking care of Dad will take so much patience and endurance.
Your parents sound a little like mine. My Father suffered from Alzheimers also - for 10 years, Mom cared for him at home. After that he lived another 2 years in a skilled nursing facility. Mom has the heart condition, but is still going strong at 89 years.
I'll be praying for you and for your family in the months to come.
HUGS
Oh Rusty, I am so sorry for the loss of your mom. I know how that hurts having lost mine 5 years ago. Your mom sounds like a very brave and courageous woman and was saving you and your family the pain of having to do some of the hard things that must be done. I know how hard it is also with a parent with Alzheimers. My mom had that for about 10 years and finally I had to put her in a nursing home when she got so bad. I understand what you are saying about them forgetting about everything. The one thing that mom never forgot was the voices of her family. When she wouldn't respond to the nurses she always knew my voice and would always say she loved me. Know that I am here for you if you ever need to talk and I am keeping you and your family in my prayers. I pray for acceptance, peace and also for healing. I love you my wonderful sister in red.
It's not what you gather, but what you scatter
that tells what kind of life you have lived.
Annette 
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