Response to Feeling Kindof Down...

I want to thank all of you *****sponded to my post yesterday.  Over the pass two weeks I have been dealing with the break-up of my friend and I after 20 years.  It seems that he was very supportive when I decided o have the surgery, but after seeing the results and the attention from the opposite sex, it was just a little more than he was willing to handle.  The word "Jealous" had reared its ugly head. My whole life style has changed for the better, no heavy soul food cooking, no buffets, late night ice cream snacks, beer, etc. and while I still remained social he continued to eat and would get angry when I declined.  We decided to part as friends although I do miss him...20 years is a long time, but my life and my health are more important and its a shame he couldn't see that. Thanks again for the support.

So sorry for your pain...I will continue to keep you in my prayers. Hugs, connie d

You go girl!!!! Too often we allow others (men) to dictate to us and end up in the situations we were in. I applaud you for standing up for yourself and your health. I am also alone right now. I'd rather be that way then deal with the drama from someone who doens't want to understand my need for a life change.  Anytime you want company, Baltimore isn't that far away!!!

Thanks Aimee, you're just a stones throw away

I understand how painful it is to have this happen.  I had a best friend that was like a sister to me.  She had surgery and I was there for her.  About 18 months later, after seeing how well she did along with other factors, I made the personal decision to have surgery myself.  I thought with her going through it and understanding from her own personal experience, this would be the ultimate situation.  Wrong!  As I lost weight and became successful, she started being very critical of me, how I looked, dressed, wore my hair, anything and everything was up for negative comments from her.  As I lost weight, it got worse. I talked to her numerous times about it and she blew me off invalidating how I was feeling.  After a year of so of taking it, and attempting to talk to her about it, criticizing me even in public with other friends, I terminated the friendship.  It was so painful and hurtful.  I didn't understand how and why it happened. Looking back, I see that my identity in our friendship changed.  Rather than being the person that was passive, I had opinions.  Instead of doing everything her way, I had my own opinions.  I was always the bigger one and when that wasn't the case any longer, it changed the dynamics of the friendship. I was sad for a long time.  However, I replaced that dysfunctional friendship with more quality, mutual, healthy friendships.  I am sorry this happened to you and wanted you to know that I understand.  It happens.  Rather than continue to be a doormat, we open the door to healthier friendships. Cathy

Hi Cathy, believe it or not I've had a couple of so-called girlfriends stop speaking to me since the surgery also.  It's so crazy. While we were killing ourselves nobody said a word or offered us any solutions, it was always eat, eat, eat.  It's something how when you do things to better yourself in life and health people have a problem.

 I am so sorry for your loss and  losing a friendship that has been going on that long to end, it is a loss. It doesn't sound like you had much of a choice. Life changes in so many ways  for us. Look for the new doors that will be opening. And allow yourself to greive..Blessings

I know I'm going to make it, and I'll be alright.

As painful as it is right now---this may turn out to be a blessing in the end.  I divorced my husband after twenty years of marriage and after the initial sadness, it turned out to be the best decision for both of us.  My life has been nothing but better since then.  I wish the same for you.  Hang in there and be sure to reach out to your OFF friends often. Wanda