What's new Monday!
"Be kinder than necessary, for everyone is fighting some kind of battle"
Hello, OH Family!!
Here I am...finally...yes, Ive been absent for a long time...I had a rough time with four sales back-to-back, then JB was sick..thankfully it turned out to be a serious infection in the semenal tubs and the bladder and not the testicular cancer that they thought it might be. Then hubby's mother got sick and died. She was 94 and had a good life but had suffered for many many years with alzheimers and hasnt known any of us for years..so it was a mixed blessing.
My weightloss had stopped and my surgeon told me that likely my body was stopping there and I was devastated..I still have alots of weight to lose! It was at that point that JB was nagging me something awful about my weight and thats not a good thing for me.
Under the stress, I fell back on old habits...yes, I did *sighs* and the weight started creeping back. I felt awful but somehow powerless to stop the cycle and kept promising myself Id start again tomorrow. The result was that I was very angry at myself and felt like a complete failure..angry that Id been thru so much and done so well and here I am, back to my old habits of eating the wrong things...choclate and cookies were easy to eat...I had grown fed up (bad pun, sorry) with always planning my food intake and just started isolating from everyone as much as I could get away with..hating how I looked..certain that each pound announced its presence in neon flashing lights.
HOWEVER, I have gotten back on track..Im losing those pounds now and the numbers are slowly dropping. Im already feeling better physiclaly..the aching in my legs that had returned is now subsiding again and the folds around my swollen ankles are reducing too.
I have to remain constant and careful now..I cannot give into my old weaknesses again...its all entwined with my self-esteem and as I gained each pound, I hated me more.
And so here I stand, like the prodigal daughter, returning to the fold. I need you people more than ever now. Im sorry that I let you down..and let myself down.
Nancy B
aw shucks, Annette!
well I sure hit one hell of a bump...I guess it was very hard for me because Im not used to failing at anything and I saw my weight gain as FAILURE. It was a very humbling experience for sure...I had been doing so well then an abrupt aboutface...that really threw me into a spin.
Thank you so much for your support!
*hugs and schmoochies*
Nancy B