On my way soon....

Hello all, I am less than 30 days from my surgery!!!! Very excited!!! I do have one question. I have some friends who have done the other surgery(g.bypass) and they seem like they have lost their original personality. Does anyone have comments on this????????I am having LapBand I hope this does not happen to me....

My best advice is to post this on the main board Kathy, not too many ppl come over here! I wish you the best of luck in your journey, and just so you know, from my experience, it does change them some. I am not sure if it's just from the better self esteem or what, just try to be true to yourself and you will be ok. Take care and best wishes! Jen M.

I've been in counseling for a while, I know that in a lot of ways, I'm different. I have heard that some people are VERY outgoing when they are heavy, as a cover for their true feelings, to make up for the low self-esteem they really feel, also some people use their strong personalities as a guard, so it makes sense that as we lose this thing that has covered up our true feelings for so long, we would change some (only speaking from personal experience here). I look at pictures of myself from before I had surgery and so far, it's unanymous. Everyone sees the "emotion" in my face. I was holding everything in, burying it with food so I didn't have to feel! It's interesting, of course I didn't know it at the time. I feel so much more free now! I can only speak from my own personal experience here, I don't know what feelings anyone else is having, or what anyone's own personal struggles are, only my own! ~ Erika ~

The people who have known me my whole life say that I am so much more like the "real me" they knew in my younger years. In my case I would say my personality changed over the years as I got heavier. It is inevitable that you and the people around you may percieve change in you as the weight comes off. Navigating life as a morbidly obese person came with "personality baggage" just like living life as a formerly obese person does too. The changes for me have been nothing but positive and have made the relationships with the people I truly care about so much better. As my weight came off I did find myself not willing to accept the status quo anymore. When I was obese I kind of had the disease to please, always taking care of others, never taking care of myself. I felt the need to overachieve in my housekeeping, entertaining, volunteering, etc. because I think I felt like no matter how good I did things "I was still fat". I haven't become selfish, but I have started to allow myself to at least put myself and my needs in the mix. This could be be seen as losing my original personality, but it has been a powerful improvement in my well being. The people in my life benefit from this, and have not been anything but happy with this change. The ones who might think I have "changed" and don't see it as a positive thing, were most likely people who needed me to fill a certain need in their life. I haven't missed whoever they are at all. The ones who are good for me are still there and love the new me. Patty It will be important to be self aware and I highly recommend working with a therapist during this time of rapid change.

Patty, Thank you for your posts. I always enjoy reading what you have to say and feel very connected to your message. When you started counseling, did you search out a Counselor that was familiar with Bariatric Surgery or weight issues? I have considered locating a Counselor, but I have been concerned about how to make sure they were familiar with weight issues.

Thank you Tomasina. I often find other peoples posts talk to me too. That is the great thing about being able to find peers on this site. It helps! When I got the psych. evaluation as a pre-op requirement it was with a doctor in Vancouver. He gave me a card of a doctor who does work with eating disorders. I made an appointment. When I got the paperwork mailed to me and read some of the literature, I didn't think it was going to be a good match for me. Because I am on Wellbutrin for anxiety I decided to hook up with a phsyciatrist who would be able to write prescriptions if needed. I went to someone my PCP recommended and it has worked out great. I know I am not the first person she has worked with that has eating issues, but I wouldn't say it is a specific specialty. I think most important is feeling comfortable with them and confident that they are competent as a doctor (which we should look for in all of our doctors). Making that first call and appointment was really hard for me. It helped me to kind of use the fact I was getting surgery as a "reason" but once I went I realized it is a great support whether it's about surgery or not. I had just made up my mind that going through such a huge and rapid change in life was reason enough to see someone for support. I think it was a big help. My husband is GREAT but it was so helpful to have a neutral person with experience and knowledge there to talk to too. Patty

its kind of an identity thing...like for me...how will anyone listen to me at work if I am not heavy...sounds weird but true. Right now I am going through a very strange thing in that I have moved to Bend and people here only see me as I am now...they don't know the old me...