what are we missing here?

Hi Patty. I'm glad you posted. Joy is the first person I have met who has had WLS. I hope to meet others who like you said have walked in my shoes. Let's keep posting! Peg

I'm not really a joiner either. I am better with small groups. One thing that anyone can benefit by is with the experience of another person who has "been there and done that". I'm only 4 months out so I don't have a lot. It would be nice to talk to people who have been at this a lot longer and have gone through the trials and tribulations of WLS. The only things I have learned about post op things I have gleaned from reading here. And we as a group have some unique problems, ones that are common to WLS patients. A lot of us were not the life of the party when we were heavy, and that's if we were ever invited to one. How has the surgery changed that? Has our self esteem risen or stayed the same? Have people further out had problems regaining weight or fought with that aspect? So much education we could reap from each other, and new friendships we could achieve if we could just get together as a group. big or small. We don't have to be alone in this. And there are things that only WLS people can sympathize with, one being our plentiful stretched out hide. Samonsite could make a 6 piece luggage set out of some of us. LOL So if anyone wants to get together, (lurkers are more that welcome), to discuss the finer aspects of fine WLS dining and other things, let's talk turkey, er, in small portions of course. Jer

Hi Patty, You look wonderful. After reading your profile I find we have a lot of thoughts in common. You are an inspiration to me. Just wanted to say thank you. Annette V

You are so welcome Annette! It so so great that you have approval. You may not have made your final decision, but at least you can make it without that hurdle ahead of you! Good luck in your journey. Just finding this board was a big thing for me whether it was surgery or not. Learning you are not alone is a big step! Patty

We have had a breakfast once and I attended. I have met Patty (who is drop dead gorgeous and just as nice in person as on this board) but I am not much of a joiner, either. I also want to be anonymous. I am almost 20 years post my first WLS. It has become a lifestyle now in terms of food and eating. I try to reach out to those who struggle with the rest of this experience. You know, relating to other people (though I am no expert, mind you) and understanding the medical side of choices made post WLS. Doctors tend to downplay some serious things that drinking alcohol and smoking, for example can cause patients after this surgery. And patients tend to accept myths and superstitions from other patients regarding the post WLS lifestyle. I come here also to be inspired and reminded. It helps me stay on track. If there were another board other than this commercial one, I would prefer it. Here, the marketing annoys me. And I receive so much email about weight loss stuff now! I am willing to meet for coffee if others wish to do so. A formal support group just doesn't appeal to me much. happy holidays to those who celebrate them and, hold on it will be over soon to those who do not, tee

Hi everyone. Maby there should be a post to stay on top for newbies??I know ive been peeking in here for a month or more and a little shy to post.So maby there should be a newbie post for us welcoming and incouraging not to be scared and to introduce themselfs and stuff.Just a suggestion.Merry christmas everybody and happy new year. Post script This is a great post jer.There are probly a dozen reasons why people judst look and don't post.As for me finally getting over the jitters lol. I came in here And got such a warm welcome And I see you guy's with 1-5 and more years And you're still here.Encouraging helping and flat out just making people feel better.In short I feel like I stepped into a loving family.I cant exspress enough gratitude.Just felt like I had to add that.Thank you so much. michael

huh? Er, drinking? What kind of problems will that cause? I was never a drinker. But since my surgery I can no longer drink a lot of things since they taste funny. Mostly water, milk, some lemonade or juices is what i drink now. But since the surgery I have been drinking a little wine. And I mean a little. I drink less than 4 oz. at a time. After about 3 or 4 oz I start feeling a little giddy. Maybe once in awhile I'll have 1/3 to 1/2 a can of beer. You sound like someone who would be an asset at a support group meeting, formal or informal, as you have been post for quite awhile. I myself would like an informal meeting. Jer

Aww thanks Tee. I hope I am a nice person. It's hard for me to not dispute the other one...but I think I will just take it and run! Go ahead and make my day! I am one of those fools who just love Christmas (I thin****ep it tasteful and keep to the sentimental traditions), but my husband more than makes up for it on the bah humbug side. We even eachother out I suppose. Of course my kids come down on my side! WLS hasn't gotten between me and all of our favorite X-mas baking. Your long term experience and success is a real inspiration to me. I know it was a journey with a few bumps, but you seems to have found a healthy place, and exude a peace and wisdom that some of us floundering WLS "young-uns" are working on finding. Thank you for being there for us. I agree and myself am dismayed sometimes that so many myths are bantied about as fact. I'm not bothered too much by marketing, but maybe my computer savvy son is able to filter out more than I know. There is always stuff on the top when I get on but I just ignore it? Good to hear your voice Tee! Patty

I tried to reply to this while at home this afternoon numerous times and it wouldn't take, so I copied it and hope it shows up now!!! ------------ Well, I'm happy you posted this and I'm happy to see so many join in the fray. I lur****asionally but don't post much anymore mostly because I feel tremendous guilt if I can't respond to each post and don't want to leave anyone out, and I don't have time to do that. So I sit here feeling guilty for reading and not responding. I can't win for losing. I do know what it takes to get things going but I don't have the energy to expend on it right now. The secret? Hard work. It takes a few people who are dedicated to seeing the site grow to come in and post every day several posts a day to get people to talking. I've been around on message boards and other forums for about 8 years now and this is the one common thread amongst boards that are busy. Once you get momentum up, those who put in the big effort early on can relax a bit more, but eventually it will slack off if the regular posters go away. You'll see every once in awhile I come in with good intentions of starting a get to know you thread and try to drum up some conversation but then I drop the ball and fail to respond because I'm so wiped out I do the same thing described above. I can't respond to them all, so I don't respond to any of them. So it's not because I'm snubbing you all...it's because I don't want anyone to feel left out. I'm immensely interested in what is going on here though and read when I can. I would love to see more folks come back and keep current, but I suspect they do like I have...check in once in awhile and see if there is anything new - which likely there isn't. And then they probably do the same as me...don't feel they have time to respond to everyone so they just don't at all. Maybe I should just put a disclaimer at the bottom of my posts "If I didn't respond to your post it's not because I'm snubbing you, it's because I am pressed for time!" Patty - you always are responding to my posts and I'm such a horrid person because I fail to catch up like I should. Everyone has been great so I just want to apologize for being so half-baked. It's not my intention! So, what I think is that if several of you folks who want to see this board grow have time, come in and post 2-5 posts a day - about anything. Ask questions like "What did you eat for breakfast" etc. Ask for people to share their dreams of milestones and ones they've made. Talk about the weather. Share some jokes or funny stories. Then if 2-3 of you did this all the time and made the committment for an extended period of time, you would see many many more people joining in and eventually it would have momentum to continue on. There have been times this board has been busy...or busier. But people move on naturally as their lives get hectic, and if there isn't something they can quickly respond to because it's just so irresistible, they tend to just lurk. One of the methods I used to get my own boards going in the past were to go to the busiest boards and find the threads with the most posts and if it was a fun or controversial post that started it, I would take from it and bring it to my board. Some things are fun to revisit like that. I hope that helps and I hope to see the board flourish. I wish I had time to check in daily and post daily but I don't. I still very much want to be a part of this board but I've been such a slacker and stay away out of guilt. So the big question is: Are there any folks here who want to try putting this into motion? Newer post-ops (within a year) seem to be most fun because they are still in the active weightloss phase and have a lot of excitement about it all. Plus, they have great milestones to share! (hint hint) Dina

Dina, this is a great post. I couldn't agree with you more! Having some of the regulars post some basic questions, such as "What did you have for breakfast?" or "What kind of exercise did you do today?" would be great questions to start the day off. Perhaps every Monday, "X" question would be asked, then every Tuesday, "Y" question could be asked, and so on. I bet the California boards were a bit busier because they have a greater population? Does anyone know what the numbers of memberships to OH are for Oregon and California? I'd be interested to see. I think another thing that would help is actively searching new members and inviting them to our board. Also, what about a "member of the week" posting? Someone could interview them and we'd learn more about them on a personal level--or just in relation to their WLS. Just my $.02 Charity