OT-Teenager Issue

My son turned sixteen this week - yikes! He's a great kid. He's a good student, nice to be around, got raves from his elderly relatives he went to visit this summer. I think he is very mature for his age and I do trust him. BUT....I know he is sixteen and a male. The issue is the Oregon law that new drivers under age eighteen cannot drive with other minors in the car other than immediate family. A great law! He does not have his license yet, but one of his good female friends just got hers (and a brand new car for her sixteenth birthday). My son said he and this girl and her best friend were going to hang out today. They have been doing that all summer so I said "great". Then came the realization that they were coming over to our house and he thought they would then head out in this girls car. Normally, my son gets everywhere on public bus, including these friends that live a town away. Prior to this we had already had conversations in preparation for him getting his liscense about this subject. As in..."if you break this law and are caught either by the police or us, your driving days will be over for a LONG time". He had alluded that nobody adheres to it, you say your driving with your "cousin", etc. Of course it made me uneasy, and I warned him he had better not break this law. I don't know these girls parents the way I used to know the parents when he was little and they all lived on our block. I know they are very nice and I could talk to them. Of course my son is acting like these parents know they are doing this and are O.K. (I'm sure NOT!). I explained that if I knowingly let him walk down our sidewalk and waved goodbye as he got in this car and then something happened (got caught or worse in a crash!) that I would have to answer to these parents. He's so mad that because he was honest now I am freaking out on him. He is horrified and mad that I have said I am going to talk to their parents. He can't believe that I am saying that when they come over that then when they leave I am suggesting he go down to the bus stop and try to coordinate with them for wherever they are going. I realize that by taking this stand I am pretty much saying "pretend you are taking the bus and then get picked up around the corner". Geeeez! I am not of the mind that since teenagers drink I would rather they be allowed to drink in my home since I will know where they are and that they are safe. I've heard that one and just can't condone the behavior. I praised his honesty, but said that if he was honest and said "mom I'm going to shoot crack" that wouldn't mean I would say "go ahead - at least you told me". I have a feeling this is going to be a long year. Any advice from parents of teenagers on how you enforced this law in your household? I'm not going to give in to his logic about being forced to go underground with it, but I do see how to him it does seem like logic. If he was in a car I would want it to be these girls vs. any of his male friends. I have to admit that as a teenager I lied thru my teeth, and did very unsafe things that I am horrified about when I look back at it now. My parents were clueless. I'm not afraid to be the bad guy, but I am looking for realistic. Patty

Patty! I just had a HUGE response to your emails, but lost it when I tried to go BACK. I am SO MAD. Are you going to the mtg. on Thurs.? I hope so. rose............