VENTING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Message Board

I can't believe I am crying over this, I guess I am just overstressed. I work and go to school all week long and put in 75 hours a week between the two. But I posted a question on the main message board to look for advice and my first two responses were kind of upsetting, like putting a child in her place... http://www.obesityhelp.com/morbidobesity/messageboard/postdetail/533375.html?vc=0 If anybody has any advice on my original plea, it's still more than welcome. I am just soo upset that it seems like everytime I post on the main board, I say something wrong. I have been nothing put supportive, mailing and posting supportive messages to hundreds of people, so I don't understand what I am doing wrong. It's just frustrating. I am soo glad the Oregon board isn't like that! I love you guys! Brandi

Brandi - I see your point and theirs too. I think they were just a bit concerned that you were so out there with your intentions because it's so hard as it is. We all know the struggle going on and we all know how ridiculous it is to jump through those hoops. I've dieted all my life and I find it incredible that they discount all those years of dieting I did on my own. Regardless, those are the rules. First, I would say: Do not set out to fail on the doctor supervised diets. Tooter was right in that I think they try to make sure you will be compliant moreso than successful. But if you are successful, then great. Second, if you stick to the diet, you will already be ahead of the game when you see the surgeon. You can show them that you already lost the 10% or whatever they require you to lose before they will do surgery on you. That will only speed up the process. For me, I did not have to jump through any hoops since I went to Mexico. I'm very thankful for that because indeed the paperwork is a major headache that I just hated dealing with. I did it twice with 2 different surgeons before I went to Mexico, so I know what a pain it is. Try not to take all this to heart. I have read the main board quite a bit lately and one thing I know about Tooter is that she isn't being mean. She just wanted to caution you on something that might become a potential problem. I have knowledge of one woman on my March board who was set to have surgery and then because she vented off about the surgical group who was to do her surgery, they dropped her as a patient. She ended up not getting to have the surgery, and then insult to injury she lost the insurance that paid for the surgery. So there are stories out there like hers which would make some people skittish and concerned about posting blatent plans for failure. I think her only point is that this trip is hard enough for most folks and she didn't want to see it made all that much harder on you - or anyone else around. Believe me, though, I know how this affects your life. I battled with my own insurance and my bargaining board and about to retain a lawyer to sue the socks off them. We all have our emotions and money wrapped up in this. Just know that we will always be here to listen to you! Dina

Brandi trust me i know what you went through, when i posted my idea about how i wanted to help people oh my gosh they were terrible look on july 5 between the hours of 10am and 1 or 2 pm? never again will i go there for any kind of help ill stick to my state. My idea and other emails i had put down were also erased and believe me it wasnt me. They just seem grumpy. So i told them i would pray for them all, that too got erased. marla

Hi brandi, I have been BUSY taking care of a new client.. havn't even had to time to check in on here.. infact I shouldn't be now but I needed to! having withdrawls.. the "FUNNY" thing about what I just typed it becuase although I do read the MB and I have privately emailed 100's of people with support or what ever, and I do occasionaly even respond to someone on the MB for the most part I find people on there to be snotty as hell.. tooter is actually the most helpful and most supportive person on the MB.. I think she took what you typed a bit out of context.. "I" know you were mostly joking with maybe a hint of truth behind it.. but she doesn't know what you've been through or how long.. and honestly "IF" that was the worst thing those people on MB had to say, hun you did good!! seriously.. I was surprised you didn't have people literaly SCREAMING at you for you failing the diet comment.. I have seen it before. and I remember thinking that if I was going to have to go on a diet for a surgeon then they wouldn't let me have the surgery if I did loose weight. I thought it was a catch 22... dammed if I do, and dammed if I don't. I wasn't required to do that.. but as it turns out it's not a catch 22.. they really want to see if a person can comply with drs orders.. everyone knows that fat people can "LOOSE" weight.. only us and "some" the medical community understands that we can't keep it off!! hang in there.. and don't worry about anyone from the MB.. just keep in mind they don't know you or anything about you.. and unless your dog, husband, child, and even "fish" have died this week is the only way your gonna feel the LOVE from them!!! theresa

Brandi, Don't be too disheartened by Tooter and the other person...I truly don't think they meant to come across as mean! I did see that Tooter apologized if it came across as snotty. I do think they were trying to give you a "friendly warning" about the insurance providers. And, like Theresa and Dina said, they don't know you or what you've gone thru. I too think they misunderstood the context of what you were trying to say. Take care...and we're all here for you! :hug: : Michele

Thankx for the warm fuzzies guys. I just was having a super bad day (oh, how I hate mondays) and got all worked up about it. I am concerned about the insurance thing now though. My exclusion says in exact words physician supervised unsucsessful attempts at diet and exercise programs. I just don't know what to make of it. If I do really well, they will say "see, you don't need surgery" If I don't do well, would I then get surgery? But I assume they want to know I am serious, I just don't know what to do now..LOL! Brandi

Hey Brandi~ I did not have to provide any diet failures, BUT what I have heard of people doing is going back to previous diets and using that information... such as... Weigh****chers, Atkins, or any other weight loss attempts. Go over your options with the pcp and see if they can help you document your earlier attempts and use that information. Just an idea worth trying. ~*Lauryn*~

Great suggestion! I did have documented history w/my PCP, but she also had me list all prevous attempts and she included them in her letter. Go for it Brandi and thanks Lauryn! Michele BTW Lauryn...how are you doing...you've had your surgery recently, right?

Hi Brandi, Dr. Patterson was my surgeon. I was worried about my PCP doing a good job with the letter, so I went to one of Dr. Patterson's recommended doctors, but for the life of me, I can't remember his name. I can look it up when I get home from work if you are interested. He is at St. Vincents in the medical offices there. He asked that I provide a diet history but that is all I remember having to take to him. He sat and talked to me for quite awhile. He didn't put me on the spot or anything remotely like that. He was the one that coordinated the sleep study too. He knows exactly what needs to be done for Dr. Patterson and for insurance, so if possible, you may want to see him. I also used one of Dr. Patterson's recommended doctors for the psycological study. It just seemed easier to use people that had the knowledge of what was needed to make the process go more smoothly. Kim

Thankx, thats a great idea!! Kim, I have a list of PCP's who will write me a letter, but the problem is they are all men. Not that I am sexist or anything, I just get ALOT of anxiety about men looking at me, so I found a PCP (recommended by somebody on this site) and I will have my first visit on the 23rd and will discuss all my options then, I am going to be totally up front and tell her what I want and see if she will help me. I will let everybody know as soon as I get home afterwards. I am soo excited!