A bit discouraged

So I'm still pre-op going through Hamilton. I had my dietitian appointment and I am very confused and discouraged by what she had to say. She said that most people have regain and that in the end we usually only end up losing and maintaining about 30% of our extra weight lost. She told me that I should expect to steady out at 250 pounds. Now I definitely don't want to have major surgery, have my insides rearranged and have to track everything I eat and drink for the rest of my life only to remain 250 pounds.

I mean I understand regain and that we have to be diligent and track everything always and make the right choices and I intend to do that. I just don't understand if we are eating how we are supposed to after surgery and exercising and following all the rules why we can't lose down to a comfortable healthy weight. My goal is 170-180 and I told her that and she said I need to be realistic. I thought I was but maybe I am only in my head? My best healthy weight as an adult was 160 pounds. I am 5' 9" and at that weight I looked and felt great.

I see so many people on here that have done amazing and gotten to their goal instead of just what the dietitian said. Please tell me I'm not being overly optimistic and that I won't have to settle on still being obese after having all of this done. I just felt like everything I said she had to burst my bubble and take the wind out of my sails. I guess I just needed to come on and post for a bit of encouragement. Thanks for taking the time to read this. :)

Hi there. You don't mention what your starting weight is (not that it really matters) but I don't think you are being unrealistic. They have their stats on what people typically lose and or regain, blah blah, blah. Many many many people lose beyond their center's goal weight and are able to maintain the weight. Its all about the effort you put into the process, and how diligent you are with your food choices etc.

Once you have surgery you just keep on trucking and get to the weight you want to be! Staying there is also up to you!!

Maybe your nutritionist is just being super cautious.. that's not very encouraging though. You could regain, but if you work at it and stick to the program and start working out there's no reason why you would regain the weight. I believe you should be able to achieve your goal weight and maintain it. Its all dependent on how vigilant and how dedicated you are to the process. You definitely do not have to settle for being obese after surgery. I don't know why your dietician is saying that, but just look around the forum an see the different results of many many people who have hit goal weights and maintained it for years. Sure people slip up and regain but that doesn't mean it will happen to you. You can do this ! Its really worth it all and don't let one person take the wind from your sails. You are the one in the driver's seat! You got this

My nurse in Ottawa at the CIvic hospital said they expect 20-30% extra weight loss of their patients. So for me i started at 247 and my goal weight according to my center is like from 170lbs to 192! I find that high considering at 2 months out in already at 196- i'm just going to keep going and do what's i can. The surgery is just a tool to use to tour best ability-

I remember meeting the Social Worker for the first time pre surgery. She told me that my goal would be 172 lbs. I started at 287. She asked how I felt about it. I told her that it may be her goal but I wasn't doing this to weigh 172.

Suffice to say I am sitting at 135 - 137 lbs right now. This is where I plan on staying.

I haven't changed anything other than adding a few more calories to keep me in this range. I still work out - love it. I'm very active and enjoying life.

I'm not even a year out so I know regain is possible and probable but...I'm going to do my utmost to make sure it doesn't happen. I didn't go through all of this to gain it back.

I believe my success or lack thereof, is in my hands. I've been given the tool and I need to use it. I've been given psychological and nutritional counselling, it's all up to me now.

I believe you are being realistic. Listen to your inner voice and go for it. Anything is possible.

I appreciate everyone that responded. This definitely gives me encouragement and lets me know that I'm not cray cray quite yet. I am not delusional in thinking that this is a walk in the park and an easy thing to do by no means but I think many forget just how determined we are to make this work. I am in awe of everyone on here that have made this tool work for them and gotten their lives back. I hope to be one of those success stories in the future. Thanks everyone :) namaste and inlakesh.

The goals they set tend to be quite high. I was told at 3 months post op I was where they wanted me (?!?!?!?) I've lost an additional 45 since then and am still going down.

Don't let what they consider a success make you think you can't hit your numbers too.

they usually just quote you averages (although the quote she gave you seems even way above average). There are always going to be people who end up above or below that. Don't forget that for everyone who sticks to the their plan and tracks everything they eat for the rest of their lives, there are folks who stop paying attention to what they're eating and let old habits creep back in - thus, they regain a lot of weight, or never make it down to goal. All of the above people are factored into the averages, not just the successful ones.

A 10-20 pound bounce back is very common after you hit bottom (although even *that* isn't inevitable), but if you're following the rules and tracking everything you eat for the rest of your life, you'll very likely remain below - and maybe way below - the number she gave you. I was told 170-180 for me was "do-able" if I really worked at it. Once I got there and announced I wanted to be 150, I was told that wasn't a realistic goal. Well, I got there (and for awhile, below there) and have stayed there for two years. It can be done. There are lots of us here who have done it. You just have to be really committed to your plan and be willing to monitor yourself carefully for the rest of your life.

I'm 9m out and I've now lost 127lb and I'm 31lb from my absolute goal weight (I'm 5'11, I was 323lb now 196lb. My goal is 165lb). The surgeon said my goal was 210lb and the dietician said that the expectation is we lose 25%-35% of overall body weight by 18m. I've already surpassed that. When I was asking for additional help/support as I keep stalling for 4-6w at a time she said I need to just accept that this is me done losing and my body has found it's mark and this is it for me. I've since lost 22lb more from when she said that.

My goal is to be right in the middle of a healthy BMI for my height. She said this is unrealistic and I'm setting myself up to fail. What is unrealistic is for them to treat us all the same. We're individual, have individual hopes and wants. I know certainly a lot of people are more than happy to lose what I have and still be more than comfortable at my current BMI (which is 27.3) but I am not. I have gone through a lot from this surgery and I won't settle until I hit my own goal - not their goal for me.

Apparently around the 2yrs out mark there is a bit of regain for most people but it's around 5lb-10lb from what I've read. This isn't most of the weight lost by any stretch.

As ever, take what they say with a pinch of salt and do your own research.