Happy one year surgeversary to me!

One year ago today I was lying in the hospital room worrying about how my body would recover from what I did to it. Boy, have I come a long way since!!!!!!!! My highest weight was 289. The day I started Opti I was 285. 2 weeks with Opti and I was down to 270 on surgery day. Fast forward one year, I weighed in at 167 today. I am happy with my progress, but I miss my stomach a lot of the time. Can't help it. I said that in the waiting room at my one year check and the lady in the waiting room who was 6 mohths post op said "I don't". lol.

I miss not vomiting out of nowhere because something didn't go down right, not having food aversions, having more energy, and guzzling water. I miss not having to think about what I'm putting in my mouth and worrying about protein and vitamins.

I don't miss being fat, being stared at like I was an outcast, people not making eye contact with me out of pity, my joints hurting, getting out of breath going up stairs, gorging for no reason, not having clothes fit, having to shop in plus size stores, having to buy wide width shoes, having to layer my clothes in an attempt to "hide" my fat, having to tell my husband I wasn't going to his work events. There are more I'm sure.

Was it all rainbows and unicorns? Absolutely not. A part of me still wishes I had respected my body and treated it well so I wouldn't have had to have gone through RNY. A part of me still wishes they had given me a VSG so I didn't have to have malabsorption. But there is absolutely no part of me that wishes that I were still close to 300 lbs. God, I cannot believe I was 11 lbs away from 300!!!

My mom has been over for the past week and she has been cooking non stop. She doesn't know about my RNY and has totally messed my head up because she was the source of immense overeating growing up. Subconsciously in order to appease her, I have been grazing like crazy and have put on like 4 lbs in a week. Very scary. Weight regain is real if we don't control it. She didn't put a gun to my head, but our experiences don't get erased when the stomach gets cut.

At my one year check up the Nut said I was doing very well with the surgery. She told me I had lost 80% of my excess weight. I was like not all of it? lol.

This was not easy and it took a lot to get used to. I remember standing behind a door crying like a lunatic wondering what I had done to myself 1 week after my surgery. I was scared and I didn't know what I had gotten myself into. But now that I look back, I think that sad, naïve person is long gone. I think I enjoy shopping a lot more because I can't exactly just eat in my spare time like I used to. Replacement addiction? Perhaps, lol.

I want to thank everyone who posts on this forum to keep communication and hope alive. I want to thank anyone *****sponded to my posts or messages and I want to thank everyone who exuded positivity and support to me and to all of my fellow peeps. God bless and much love to everyone :)

Congratulations Lucille!

Thank you :)

Congratulations!

Congratulations, I started at the same weight but at 8 months out the loss has slowed and motivation issues have become real. Most everyone in my life knows about my surgery and the reasons for it, I just sometimes wish that I was a little more healthy, much better but not great, I agree it would be nice if I'd treated my body better so I didn't have the issues that led me to the surgery.

I know it's funny when they say hey you've lost the 80% so you're a success, and you're like but hey I'm still overweight, and they say we don't expect you to lose 100%, it's kind of like but why am I doing this then.

Keep your head up the food people who "love" us provide has probably been an issue all our lives and we just need to find a way to deal with it emotionally.

You got this, Michelle! Just get your head back in the game and go to protein first. Whenever you lack motivation, just remind yourself about what you put your body through. You can do this :)

You are right about the people who "love" us. I have to know that it's okay to say no to her and her outrageous "fears" about my weight. You're damned if you do. You're damned if you don't. lol.

awww.. schucks... thanks :)

Congrats!

Thank you ;)