What do you / did you tell your extended family?

Hi everyone,

I'm new here. I just had my first nutrition class and new questions and feelings have emerged. But the one that sticks out the most is "what do I tell my kind, but sometimes judgmental extended family?" I'm terrified they are going to say that I am using the easy way out. I've been a bit on the emotional side lately and I'm not sure if I could cope with the lack of support.

Just to be clear, my husband and my immediate family are completely on board with my journey and I have lots of love around me.

xo

I didn't tell anybody other than my husband and one close friend. You don't have to tell anybody. It's your health your business.

I am not telling anyone - only my wife, and son knows. My wife's niece that lives with us "knows" (in the sense she hears us talking) but is not the nosy type and as such hasn't said anything to anyone either.

I was open and told everyone that asked. I didn't offer the information but if someone asked me I told them I had surgery. My family had all kinds of different reactions and comments but I figure its my life and I will do what I want and they can support me or judge me. Up to them, not me! But you have to do what feels right for you. I thought if I told only a few select people I would eventually forget who knew and who didn't and I would slip up.

You do whatever feels right to you. Lots of people tell no one or only really close family.

I told everyone however, in your situation maybe I wouldn't. Who needs the drama and the judgement right? You do what is comfortable for you. I probably wouldn't tell, but eventually they will figure it out.

BTW, this is anything BUT, the easy way out. That's just ignorance and you have to put it down to that.

MY bf said just the other day that he didn't realize how difficult this would be. He thought I just was going to eat less and the weight would fall off. As much as I tried to educate him before surgery he just didn't get it. He gets it now! LOL

I'm 11 months out and no one knows but me, God, and my husband. I've been mum and that has protected my emotions. People would definitely have judged me.

I told my mom and brother pretty early in the process. I guess the rest of my family will find out once I?m in the hospital ?cause news will travel fast. I don?t really care what my family thinks, but I only see a few times per year. However, I don?t think they?ll be negative.

I am more nervous about work/co-workers.

I will tell people when the day is closer, but it will be like "I've got to remove my gall bladder" or "Jeez... this ulcer is killing me". :-)

I remember when my dad had an ulcer removed, he lost quite a bit of weight and gained very little back. Another friend had his gall bladder removed and also lost a lot of weight and didn't gain any back.

However I realize with bariatric surgery once it's gone, it's gone and people will notice/talk. :-)

My immediate family knew all through the process but I didn't tell my parents and sister until the day before. That way they didn't have time to try to influence me. After the surgery I only told my closest friends. Other people just think I'm working hard to lose weight. That's enough. Surprisingly, every single person I told was incredibly supportive. I didn't have anyone judge. It's been great. Good luck.

I am still pre-op, I've told everyone close to me. A few others as well. I am not ashamed, or do I care if they know or what they will say. Most people that know me know that I have been struggling to lose the weight for 7 years. They've seen me drop 130 lbs twice and still it won't stay off. So they can have their opinion, but the only thing that matters is that this is what you want wholeheartedly.