Considering the sleeving but I'm scared

Well, I am new to the forum but I'm not new to obesity. I've been dealing with it most of my life. I come from a family of obesity as well. My mother had the bypass surgery back in 2007. She lost a lot of weight but never lost it all and now she's back up well over 300 lbs....but she was about 450 before surgery.

This wasn't her first baraitric surgery either. She had a procedure done in the 70s that kept a lot of weight off for about 10 years but She was never skinny. The procedure was found to present major health issues about 10 years post op and she had to have it reversed. That's when she got very large.

After witnessing her going through both surgeries, and still being overweight/obese....I guess I'm afraid of the same fate. That said, I'm nowhere close in weight to where she was or is now....but I do have a good 150lbs to lose. I guess at the end of the day it's scary to think of the following..

1. Not being able to keep weight off permanently
2. Not knowing how to be a skinny person
3. What will people think of me
4. dispapointing myself and family
5. major excesses skin

alternarively...I also think on the current path....I'm afraid of

1. Risk of heart attack and stroke....I have two comabitities
2. not lliving a whole life
3. not being able to walk when older
4. getting arthritis
5. Getting bigger like my mom

Why can't I lose on my own without falling into the old habits? Why do I need to surgery for this?

any insights are greatly appreciated.

I had all the same thoughts as you. All of them. I think a lot of people here probably had the same thoughts as well.

This process requires us to change to be successful. It's that simple and it's that HARD.

CHANGE is extremely hard. This is where we buckle down and decide that we need to do things to differently to create the life we want to have and then we DO IT. We make those changes and we make those changes for life. No going back to old ways. This is what's HARD.

Everyone's journey will be different. You may need support in the form therapy in order to make the changes you will need to make. Support groups will be helpful. I would encourage you to find a support group now to learn more about the process from people who are on the front lines of living with their new reality. Research WLS until you understand the process and how it works.

As for not being able to lose on our own and the need surgery, I think it's because we are Human. Everybody has "stuff" in their lives. For us, the stuff we carry around is the inability to do this on our own. There is no shame in that. It's life.

I wish you well and hope this helps. :)

Thank you for the encouraging words. I think I feel lie a failure regardless and perhaps I do need therapy to reframe that thinking. I've been thinking about getting a therapist for weight issues for a while. I had a life coach in the past to help deal with other issues I've had...I know fear is the biggest thing that hOlds us all back from what we want. I often feel afraid to be thin because I don't know how to be that person....a thin person. I know it's bad for my health yet...I'm more afraid to be thin....I think. ..if this makes any sense.

Fear is definitely a component of this. This is not a race. You do this on your time when you are ready. This is your journey no one else's.

Please do not feel like a failure. Your ability to see what's going on with you and the fact that you have reached out tell me that you are anything but a failure. You are self aware and you are taking a HUGE step, a courageous step, to become healthy. There is no failure in that.

I'm not sure any of us know how to be a thin person until we become that person. If you think you need some psychological help to reorder your thinking then do it. Again, a very courageous decision - no shame - no failure.

I'm glad you are here. I would seriously find a support group in your area for WLS and listen to what others have to say. I think it will be very enlightening for you to hear of others' fears and worries.

I agree with everything that Sweetride has said. It looks like you have started a pros and cons list but I challenge you to expand that. List all the things you hate about being large and how these will change and improve. Research your fears and compare them to the pros. Doing this work with a therapist would be a great launching point for you. Taking this time is part of the reason this process is not rushed.

You have made the first and biggest step by considering this surgery but you haven't said if you were referred yet or not. If not, get the referral because it does take time and you can back out at any point but once you make the decision you want this you will want things to speed up. One thing I kept telling myself was everyone here keeps saying it was the best decision they ever made! I am 5 weeks post op and I can agree with this.

Remember - obesity is a disease and is now in the DSM. You are not solely responsible for your weight. It is life but you do have the power and tools to change it.

Good luck in your decision.

Yes, I've been referred. I'm waiting on my package, which hasn't come and it's been a few weeks :( I was also considering the private route. I feel like i'd rather get the sleeve b/c it's less invasive and seems more right for me. I already have nutrition absorption issues. But I heard you don't really get a choice in the matter?

Typically, the RNY is the first route to go, however, if you have other issues that would make an RNY difficult then a Sleeve may be in order for you.

Once the testing is complete and you have been fully assessed, this would be a discussion to have with your surgeon. He/she may come right out and say we need to do a sleeve for you, or alternatively, RNY is the way to go.

You can certainly make your wishes known and I know some people here were able to have that discussion and the Surgeon was OK with it. Others, like me, not so much. LOL

I agree with what everyone else has said, I'd also like to address the surgical failures your Mother faced, first, weight loss surgery has improved massively over the last 20 years, most surgery is done arthroscopically with short recovery periods which helps immensely. Second, support, I also knew a couple of people who had surgery years ago and had some regain, but you need support to help with your feelings about food and changing your eating habits, unless you change the way you eat permanently weight will creep back, so it's important to have a support group to help you through the process.

It takes time, mine longer than some, so you should start the process, learn more, and it's true you can always back out.

Like you a huge reason for me pursuing wls was because of my Mother's health. She isn't as large as your Mom but by age 60 she had had a knee replacement, couldn't walk for more than 5 minutes at a time and basically sits on the couch all day long. Now, 6 years later she's also diabetic has liver issues and sleep apnea. And that's just what I know about.

I'm 43, 5'4" I had high blood pressure (has already been resolved due to the surgery) and sleep apnea. My highest weight was 264 lbs. Not huge by some standards but I have a 13 and a 7 year old and I didn't want my Mother's life to become mine. I want to be active with the kids and I especially want to be able to play with my Grandchildren which my Mother cannot. My parents moved to Edmonton almost 2 years ago and they don't know about my surgery. They are visiting in May and I can't wait to surprise them.

When I started the Opti shakes I was almost 258 pounds. I had to do 3 weeks worth of shakes. On the day of surgery I weighed in at 241.5. It's crazy how much I've already lost. I had surgery on Monday so no more news to report just yet.

Good luck with your decision. It's definitely a big deal but like others have said start the process you can put it on hold or even say stop. In the OR before my surgery began I asked one of the nurses, are we sure this is a good idea? And she laughed and said you're the one in charge.

Karen

I am 283 and 5'2". I keep boucning back between 260 and 285 for about 10 years. I have thyroid issues, diabetes and high blood pressure already :(

Did you work on your diet before the opti phase?