To tell or not to tell, that is the question

I have been very open and couldn't care less what people think or say. Whether they agree with what I've done or not, is of no concern to me.

I was more concerned about my family and close circle of friends to be honest. When I told, I only had 2 people who were shocked and tried to make me change my mind. Everyone else have been INCREDIBLY helpful and supportive. And now, those 2 are back in my corner. They see the changes, see I'm happy and are now on board.

I chose not to tell people before my surgery because I didn't want any influence or judgement. It was my decision and I wanted to know I made it for me. My husband and children knew and one sister. I also told my manager because I knew she would be supportive. HR only got a doctors note indicating the dates I would be off. That is all they are entitled to. The day before my surgery I told my parents because I knew they would worry. After I was home I told my closest friends and the rest of my family. By this point I was feeling very good about my decision and the surgery already happened so what could anyone say. It turns out every single person was very happy for me and very surprised I did this. It has been a positive experience so far. I am still off work but I think if someone asks me I will likely tell them. I work in a big office but everyone is pretty good so I should get a lot of support.

Just know now that you need to be secure with your decision before you say anything. When you share just once, you have lost control of this information and need to be prepared for that.

Congrats and and good luck.

your work doesn't need to know anything other than that you will be out for x amount of time for medical reasons.

I only told a couple of people at work. in my case i had a lap band trying to kill me, so my boss knew I was having it removed, i have a great relationship with her so I knew it was no issue. you need to judge your own relationship.

there is plenty of time later on to let people know if you want to.

Hi there... i'm on the not to tell side... but that's MY choice! i am 6yrs out and only my immediate family and a few close friends are aware of my surgery decision. and of course the many wonderful people i have met at the many support groups i attended. i didn't want to hear any negativity or "i took the easy way out". at work sure i got questioned... inquiring minds right? or nosey people? sure had a few of those too! i replied i eat healthier and exercise more! and that's all they needed to know! and the workplace wasn't aware of why i took the time off for my abdominalplasty surgery as well. (i had it done at xmas time and there were all those stat holidays and a few vacation days taken). it was and is my business! anyone that follows their clinic's guide will/should have a significant weight loss and you sound very confident and proud about your choice in telling who you want!! good luck with your decision to tell or not to tell!!!

Laws protect your privacy. You do NOT need to tell HR specifics. All they need is your doctors paperwork indicating you will be off. 8 weeks is what I took and needed. No regrets about that.

I didnt tell anyone I know about this other than my husband who supports me. It's my body, my medical history and it's nobody's business. I have lost 84 lbs and obviously people have noticed so I just tell people I am working on my health, I eat a protein forward diet and I work out- that's all. Somebody at work had the gull to ask me if I had something done. I just answered her with the statements above.

My surgeon said between 4-6 weeks the most off and if I needed more or my family doctor thinks I need more than the extension would come from her.

Thanks for everyone on sharing their thoughts about this dilemma. I met with my manager and shared what I am planning to do and the reasons. He seemed to be supportive. I also met with HR and just told her that I am going to have a surgery and will need time off. We discussed the possible options (short term disability through EI) and working from home and she said she will be back with some answers after discussing them with the executive team. So we will see in the coming weeks I guess.

Congrats on getting a surgery date! I work in a hospital so was very private about my surgery. People still don't know that I actually had RNY, I just told them that I had surgery on my stomach valve (which I did) and they removed a part of my stomach during the surgery. I know that I probably should be proud of the decision I made but the environment I work in didn't make me feel all that comfortable to share. A few of my close coworkers know but I think that it's a personal decision for you and you have to be OK with that.Even though we're not supposed to, I still feel that some people judge me that I couldn't do it on my own so to speak. As long as you are happy with your decision and your family, and close friends are all supportive than in my opinion that's all you need! Surgery was the best decision for me and I feel so much better and happier :-)