Cheated on opti.

Welp, I cheated. I mean had two meals cheated. Bad meals.

Yesterday.

I have had nothing bu****er today, and its nearly 10pm. I'm ready for bed, so I won't have anything until tomorrow.

The more I think back though, the more I realize just how much of an illness this is. I was never a person who binged, but I would eat like crap and when I got anxious I wouldn't eat for days. Yeah, it's a thing. A forever yo-yo minus the binge.' There's no denying it.

so now what? Well I identified the fact I made a bad choice. I know I need to be much more than on the ball the next few days. I didn't come for advice or judgement really, just to put it out there with people who get it. (Even if you didn't cheat, you understood the struggle). I think it's better to hold myself accountable on here, rather than in secret. Also, I know the surgeon will hold me accountable too. It's much easier to close a patient up, than perform RNY with a big liver. I'm disappointed, but I'm so far from hungry that I feel sick.

I have my opti and I have my sugar free syrup. I'm ready for the next week. Surgery is in 8 days. I can do this!

Yes you can do this. I too cheated on Opti and I beat myself up. Just move on and make sure the next 8 days are only Opti. Good luck!

As long as you get back on track right away you'll be fine

Hey girl. Yes, it's a thing. Hopefully the next 8 days go smoothly for you. More importantly though are all the days after the 8 days. Post surgery is real... and the choices you make while healing (and beyond) can have serious consequences.

If you need the support of a professional for your eating illness (as you put it), please do seek that help immediately. ((Hugs))

Oh I totally understand. I knew I was an anxious eater but I didn't realize just how much until I started opti a few days ago.

I've taken hangry to a whole new level. I've started using meditation much more regularly to get through the cravings and the judgements I place on myself.

We we can do this!

Oh yeah....the opti hunger was next level but you can do this!

I get it. It's so tempting but just own it and start a new day. I keep telling myself eye on the prize!

You can do this. I spaced my opti out by no more than 3-4 hours and drank water or herbal tea in between for the first week, water and hot lemon water for the second and third week of opti (my surgeon wouldn't let me have herbal teas for 2 weeks before surgery). I found that not waiting longer than 4 hours between opti's really helped a lot.

Hey everyone,

Thank you all so much for the support. It's so good to know that I have a good group of people, who understand this process fully! The good, bad and ugly!

As for my progress, I have not cheated again. Yes, it has been difficult. And yes, there are times when I want to throw a Caillou- esqe tantrum (LOL!) but I stuck to the diet! I found that motivation/wls pages on instagram have really really helped keep me on track. I think a key part of this journey, is identifying when there is a problem, and then reminding yourself the purpose of it all in the first place. There is no way I'm going to sacrifice what I have worked and waited for, over some momentary satisfaction.

Mind over matter. I'm less than a week away from the losers bench. WOOP WOOP!

Good on you for moving forward and not getting stuck in a quagmire of regret. It is too easy to do that. One foot in front of the other

keep us posted