Telling your children about WLS

My children are 13 and 7, they do not know that I am planning on having surgery soon. The social worker said to tell them about a month prior.

My concern is my 13 year old son. He has a lot of anxiety and is extremely close to me. I'm not sure what to tell them. I feel the conversations would be different for each with him being so much older.

Can anyone offer any advice?

Thanks,

Karen

Telling your kids is hard for sure. I have a 12 year old nephew who I help raise, and had to tell him.

I had been having a lot of health issues the past year.

I told him I was going in for surgery... they were going to do a little surgery on my tummy and it was going to help me get healthy. I also told him I was probably going to end up losing some weight.

His initial reaction was "what??? surgery???" And I said yeah, no big deal... you and mama will come see me in the hospital. He said ok... and went back to playing his video game. Lol

A couple of days later, he had been thinking about it, and asked me what the surgery was. I said to him "I told you it was on my tummy" and he said "but isn't there a name for it?" I wasn't prepared for that. Lol. But I changed the subject and he never asked again!!!

He did come see me in the hospital every day, and was super relieved to see how well I was doing... to take me for walks, to be my helper, to dote on me. Being involved helped him get through.

He has since heard me talk a lot about my surgery (I am super open about it) and who knows what he understands about it. He hasn't asked anything, but he knows I'm way healthier. It's all good!!

I hope some of that helps...

Oddly enough, shortly after I posted this question he came to be saying he'd overheard something about Surgery. So although I was unprepared I told him what I could. I said I was going to have surgery but it was no big deal. His concern was that we were bringing home another baby!! Once I reassured him that wasn't the case he was fine. But I expect he'll process that and be back with more questions.

I told him they would make my stomach smaller to help me lose weight so I can be more active with him and his sister. I don't think he cared by then as long as we weren't having another baby!!!

And that's how it goes!!!

Now that's funny! LOL

I'm glad he took it well.

My son is only three, so very different conversation to be had. He knows I had surgery at the hospital and I told him he had to be careful around me while my owies healed up and he's always checking on my owies (incisions). What i did do, which maybe you could do for your kids when surgery day comes, is I made a little gift package for him for the night we were gone (my sister in law came to babysit). It had new pjs and a play set he really wanted. And him and his auntie ordered pizza and watched a movie. Just made the time I was away special and not as scary for him that he got a slumber party at home. Not sure if that helps but if your son is having anxiety around the surgery maybe doing something special for him would be a nice way to help get him through it.

Mine was 7 at the time. He just knew I was going to surgery to fix my tummy and make me healthier. all my conversation on the subject have always been about health. Frankly he attributes my weight loss to the fact that I am the healthiest eater in the family.

My girls are 19, 9 and 3. The 19yr old I was open about exactly I was planning on doing (when I was originally referred) and she asked some questions but didn't really have any concerns. My 9yr old I also told her I was having an operation to make my stomach smaller to help me lose weight. She said I don't need to lose weight and I shouldn't have an operation when i'm already fine. I explained that my blood pressure and blood sugar recently are only going to get worse unless I get healthier and the only real way for me to get healthier is to lose weight.

She's asked many questions on and off for months but is fine.

The 3yr old I haven't said to her yet. I will just before I have the surgery - I need to leave the night before as I'm about 4.5-5hrs away from the hospital.