10 months Post Op/Reaching onederland!

Had VSG March 15 of last year, so I'm just a few days past my 10 months post op mark. This very Friday I finally reached onederland...198.6 lbs.

I've lost 149lbs from my heighest weight. Since March 1st (including Opti) I have lost a total of 133 lbs, and 117lbs since surgery.

When I think of where I was a year ago, I don't think I could have ever thought I'd be here at this point weight wise. Sure I hoped if all things went right, that I would get down faster than average, but no one can know beforehand how their body will handle losing the weight, and at what rate. Reading people's experiences on this forum and just researching, it varies, so as much as I had hoped perhaps I'd be on the average to faster side of things, you have no idea.

Plus, I'm not going to lie, that as much as I was ready for this, there are no guarantees of the success you expect or would like and what ends up being the reality of your journey. It may match up to your expectations and perhaps exceeds your expectations. I don't want this to be seen as negative, but rather as honest, I've read posts and heard things from my center of people not losing a lot of weight during their first year, so I know there can be less than stellar results as well.

I have had doubts about what weight I'd get down to, would I get to this weight and this. When you start this program at almost 350lbs and want/need to lose 200lbs overall its very daunting and overwhelming to think you'll lose all of it. I know people have done it, but statistics also prove (and they do vary stat wise) that people usually don't lose 100 percent of their excess weight. I'm not sure what the average is, because at each center it seems to vary and online what I research its seems to vary, but 60 to 80 percent seems to be where it lies somewhat. My center's goal is based on a BMI of 30.

So when I weighed myself on Friday and saw that 1 in front of my number, I wasn't doing cartwheels like I imagined in my head months ago,(nor could I do them now anyways lol). I was proud of myself, a tad excited for a minute, but that was it. I don't know if its I can't believe it. I haven't been under 200 since I was in grade 9!!! That was a very long time ago! Its not the feeling I thought I'd feel. Outside of reaching my ulimate goal (which isn't set in stone) breaking into the 100s was my biggest goal/milestone! I don't know if because I've been expecting it to happen at some point this month, but like I said 10 months ago, I think I would have felt so excited and felt like I was on top of the world. I don't feel that, yes I feel proud of myself but thats it.

Could also be that I think to some degree like many of us, have/had body dysmorphia. I will say yes I do see the changes to some degree, but I still feel like that same girl who is almost 350lbs somedays. The compliments I recieve are very nice and its all wonderful, but my brain and I aren't seeing eye to eye yet. I took a picture on Friday to mark the occasion and when I was looking at it, I was like wow I can really see it, but the mirror is a different story. I think a lot of us struggle with this, and I hope it will just be a time thing, that my brain and I will get on the same page one day.

This journey for me has been a lot of ups and downs for me. I'm guilty of living by the scale to much. If I have a week that I didn't lose or gained a little, it puts me in a bad mood. I'm working on that, and I suggest to everyone to try and not live and die by your weigh ins. I know it can be difficult.

I was lucky to have not any complications after surgery, and no food intolerances either.

Diet wise, I haven't made any foods off limits. I know lots of people do low carbs, and avoid foods like pasta, rice and bread. I do not follow that; however what works for one person might not work for another. I always say do you, and what you think you can live with long term.

Having said that, I will say rice and pasta (which yes I loved before surgery and after) isn't the most filling foods, or makes you feel full for a long time. I don't have them often (before surgery I could eat pasta every day) as it doesn't make sense to me to eat something that doesn't substain throughout your meals all the time. I do have them once in awhile as a treat here and there. Bread/wraps I eat quite often, but they keep me full, and as long as they fit into my calories that day there in.

I journal everything, I think that's what has kept me accountable. I record calories, protein and my fluid intake. I think journalling is a very important tool.

People are right its get harder the further you get out, because you can eat more. I try and stick to 800 or less calories a day, having some allowances to go up to 900 max. I am human, and yes I've had 'treat' days where I enjoy more higher calorie foods and go well over that max, but that's only once and awhile.

I have felt hunger/fullness since the beginning, I think that has been a great thing for me. Hunger is a bit different then before, more of an empty feeling than anything. Like I said above, it does and will get more challenging the further you get out, as now that I can eat more, the easier your calories can climb up in a day. Thats why I generally chose high protein and foods I know that are filling to me.

I've had a great many NSVs through this process. Just getting healthier is the best reward. I don't get winded going up a set of stairs or long walks like I use too. Don't sweat as much being outside in the summer. Being able to fit in doctors office chairs, without holding the chair down as I get up because my hips spill over and could take the chair attached with me lol. Feeling better about myself, physically and emotionally. Not to say I don't have to work on the latter at times but I'm a work in progress.

I had a NSV last month. I've been shopping at Penningtons mainly forever! Now I'm not out of their sizes yet, but I went into a somewhat 'regular' size store for the first time ever to shop. I say regular because it does go up to size 20. I went to Reitmans. I haven't shopped at Reitmans in decades, last I knew they did have a plus size sections that went up to 3x. So, I went in there and I felt so overwhelmed, I asked the girl where the plus size sections was, and she said all their clothes go up to a size 20. Ok, no more particular section to go to, I can search the whole store... I wanted to leave at one point, because I felt so anxious, didn't know what size to try on. I felt like the girls in the store are thinking I'm too big to be in this store. Finally my sister grabbed some pants for me and threw them at me and said try them on lol There sizing on pants threw me as I think they go by waist size not size 18, or 20 like I'm use too. My sister gave me a 34 and 36, the two largest sizes. To my suprise I fit into the 34. I thought I don't need to largest size in the store how nice.

Overall that experience was positive but a bit scary in someways, but now that I have done it, as I get further down I'll build on it to other stores.

I'm really not sure what my size is. Those jeans are the first pair of pants I've bought (had hand me downs and old jeans from my past), and I've only bought one or two shirts, which range from 1 to 2x. I would guess pant wise I'm probably around an 18.

After writing a novel here, I'm very happy I did this surgery. This tool is very helpful, and its been hard at times, but so rewarding too. I have zero regrets doing this, and would do it again in a heart beat!!!

Thank you for your 'novel' :) I enjoy and appreciate reading about what everyone is going through as their bodies change, really, beyond recognition in some cases. I find stories of people 'still feeling like the big person' interesting. I wonder why our brains do that sometimes. I wonder if the more you go shopping and try on or buy new clothes in new sizes (instead of just putting on what you had in your closet from 'before') your brain may finally come around to 'hey!! Cool!! I really AM changing my size!!"

Good luck! and enjoy your future shopping expeditions (sounds like your sister is a pretty fun, supportive person :) )

Thank you!

You know before having lost all this weight (and yes still need to lose more), I would hear/read/see on TV about people losing all this weight, and looking amazing, yet they still felt big. I was also interested in that, like how can they think they look big, when they are so skinny. Now, I'm in no way saying I'm skinny because I am not, but it is very weird now experiencing this for myself. I'm not at goal yet, but I've lost almost 150lbs and I struggle to notice it all. I can't explain it, and I'm not sure if its a time thing or not (hope so), but I'm just trucking on with my journey.

Thanks again for the nice reply.

you have done so AMAZING!!!! Way to go! I love reading your story - you are an inspiration!!!!

Thanks Lee-Ann!!! You've done amazing as well!!!