10 months Post Op/Reaching onederland!

Had VSG March 15 of last year, so I'm just a few days past my 10 months post op mark. This very Friday I finally reached onederland...198.6 lbs.

I've lost 149lbs from my heighest weight. Since March 1st (including Opti) I have lost a total of 133 lbs, and 117lbs since surgery.

When I think of where I was a year ago, I don't think I could have ever thought I'd be here at this point weight wise. Sure I hoped if all things went right, that I would get down faster than average, but no one can know beforehand how their body will handle losing the weight, and at what rate. Reading people's experiences on this forum and just researching, it varies, so as much as I had hoped perhaps I'd be on the average to faster side of things, you have no idea.

Plus, I'm not going to lie, that as much as I was ready for this, there are no guarantees of the success you expect or would like and what ends up being the reality of your journey. It may match up to your expectations and perhaps exceeds your expectations. I don't want this to be seen as negative, but rather as honest, I've read posts and heard things from my center of people not losing a lot of weight during their first year, so I know there can be less than stellar results as well.

I have had doubts about what weight I'd get down to, would I get to this weight and this. When you start this program at almost 350lbs and want/need to lose 200lbs overall its very daunting and overwhelming to think you'll lose all of it. I know people have done it, but statistics also prove (and they do vary stat wise) that people usually don't lose 100 percent of their excess weight. I'm not sure what the average is, because at each center it seems to vary and online what I research its seems to vary, but 60 to 80 percent seems to be where it lies somewhat. My center's goal is based on a BMI of 30.

So when I weighed myself on Friday and saw that 1 in front of my number, I wasn't doing cartwheels like I imagined in my head months ago,(nor could I do them now anyways lol). I was proud of myself, a tad excited for a minute, but that was it. I don't know if its I can't believe it. I haven't been under 200 since I was in grade 9!!! That was a very long time ago! Its not the feeling I thought I'd feel. Outside of reaching my ulimate goal (which isn't set in stone) breaking into the 100s was my biggest goal/milestone! I don't know if because I've been expecting it to happen at some point this month, but like I said 10 months ago, I think I would have felt so excited and felt like I was on top of the world. I don't feel that, yes I feel proud of myself but thats it.

Could also be that I think to some degree like many of us, have/had body dysmorphia. I will say yes I do see the changes to some degree, but I still feel like that same girl who is almost 350lbs somedays. The compliments I recieve are very nice and its all wonderful, but my brain and I aren't seeing eye to eye yet. I took a picture on Friday to mark the occasion and when I was looking at it, I was like wow I can really see it, but the mirror is a different story. I think a lot of us struggle with this, and I hope it will just be a time thing, that my brain and I will get on the same page one day.

This journey for me has been a lot of ups and downs for me. I'm guilty of living by the scale to much. If I have a week that I didn't lose or gained a little, it puts me in a bad mood. I'm working on that, and I suggest to everyone to try and not live and die by your weigh ins. I know it can be difficult.

I was lucky to have not any complications after surgery, and no food intolerances either.

Diet wise, I haven't made any foods off limits. I know lots of people do low carbs, and avoid foods like pasta, rice and bread. I do not follow that; however what works for one person might not work for another. I always say do you, and what you think you can live with long term.

Having said that, I will say rice and pasta (which yes I loved before surgery and after) isn't the most filling foods, or makes you feel full for a long time. I don't have them often (before surgery I could eat pasta every day) as it doesn't make sense to me to eat something that doesn't substain throughout your meals all the time. I do have them once in awhile as a treat here and there. Bread/wraps I eat quite often, but they keep me full, and as long as they fit into my calories that day there in.

I journal everything, I think that's what has kept me accountable. I record calories, protein and my fluid intake. I think journalling is a very important tool.

People are right its get harder the further you get out, because you can eat more. I try and stick to 800 or less calories a day, having some allowances to go up to 900 max. I am human, and yes I've had 'treat' days where I enjoy more higher calorie foods and go well over that max, but that's only once and awhile.

I have felt hunger/fullness since the beginning, I think that has been a great thing for me. Hunger is a bit different then before, more of an empty feeling than anything. Like I said above, it does and will get more challenging the further you get out, as now that I can eat more, the easier your calories can climb up in a day. Thats why I generally chose high protein and foods I know that are filling to me.

I've had a great many NSVs through this process. Just getting healthier is the best reward. I don't get winded going up a set of stairs or long walks like I use too. Don't sweat as much being outside in the summer. Being able to fit in doctors office chairs, without holding the chair down as I get up because my hips spill over and could take the chair attached with me lol. Feeling better about myself, physically and emotionally. Not to say I don't have to work on the latter at times but I'm a work in progress.

I had a NSV last month. I've been shopping at Penningtons mainly forever! Now I'm not out of their sizes yet, but I went into a somewhat 'regular' size store for the first time ever to shop. I say regular because it does go up to size 20. I went to Reitmans. I haven't shopped at Reitmans in decades, last I knew they did have a plus size sections that went up to 3x. So, I went in there and I felt so overwhelmed, I asked the girl where the plus size sections was, and she said all their clothes go up to a size 20. Ok, no more particular section to go to, I can search the whole store... I wanted to leave at one point, because I felt so anxious, didn't know what size to try on. I felt like the girls in the store are thinking I'm too big to be in this store. Finally my sister grabbed some pants for me and threw them at me and said try them on lol There sizing on pants threw me as I think they go by waist size not size 18, or 20 like I'm use too. My sister gave me a 34 and 36, the two largest sizes. To my suprise I fit into the 34. I thought I don't need to largest size in the store how nice.

Overall that experience was positive but a bit scary in someways, but now that I have done it, as I get further down I'll build on it to other stores.

I'm really not sure what my size is. Those jeans are the first pair of pants I've bought (had hand me downs and old jeans from my past), and I've only bought one or two shirts, which range from 1 to 2x. I would guess pant wise I'm probably around an 18.

After writing a novel here, I'm very happy I did this surgery. This tool is very helpful, and its been hard at times, but so rewarding too. I have zero regrets doing this, and would do it again in a heart beat!!!

Congratulations!

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Thank you!

Wow wow wow, Amanda!! I'm so proud of you!! What a fantastic update. Congratulations on your great success with your VSG! You're an inspiration and I'm so happy to hear all the highs and lows. Thank you for being so candid. It is hard for our brains to keep up. I'm dealing with some of that too and I think it's great you shared how you're really feeling because it's easy to just share the number as a win without giving full disclosure of the mixed emotions that can accompany it. Overall though I know it will come. This is the New you and it will take some getting used to but over time I believe you'll get more and more comfortable and familiar with this new you! So happy for you!!

Thanks Emily!

Just trying to be honest when I share updates. I don't see a good reason to gloss over things that are less than positive. I feel if I'm experiencing these things I'm sure others are too. Before I had surgery I looked to these updates as education for me. While I don't take any issues for people who gives updates and all positive...hey if that's your experience who am I to judge. I just think most of us struggle with some things during this process. Why not share and be honest about it.

How are you doing since your surgery?

Hope things are going well for you.

Amanda

Hey Amanda! That?s a great way to look at it and so true. It?s a hard journey and definitely has some ups and downs. Good to be transparent. It?s the only way we can really help each other.

Im doing great! It?s my 4 month Surgiversary today actually!! I?m down 74.6lbs since Opti start (so close to 75!) and only 2.5lbs to half way to goal. So I?m pretty pleased with those results. I don?t feel deprived (most of the time) and also have things like fruit, potatoes, bread, crackers etc. All being mindful of the macros and how the rest of my day looks. I?m fitting into clothes I haven?t worn since before my pregnancy in 2013 and feel better than I have since then too. So I can?t complain.

The body dysmorphia thing I am getting a bit. Just not mentally feeling like I?m as far as I am but I was in a bad place for a long time so it?s going to take time to shift out of that head space. I?m still dealing with past injuries so I?m not able to push my body as much as I might like from a working out standpoint. So I'm focusing on the nutrition over the working out in hopes that if I take good care of my body now I can do some healing and ask more of it later. If that makes sense? Just trying to go gentle on myself and know I?m headed in the right direction. As for lose skin and the rest I feel having previously gone from 300+ down to 159lbs I kind of know what to expect. I say that now, but remember it being such a challenge so hopefully when I get to goal I?ll be in a good place on that front. Will have to consider plastics if it?s really bothering me but I?m not sure that will be feasible financially. Not ruling anything out though! I?m just most concerned with getting my health back at this point.

My 3 month nutritionist appointment is Wednesday so I?m looking forward to that and overall I?m so happy with how things are going.

Wow, Emily you are doing so well!! Almost 75lbs thats great!!!

If you need to take things slow because of past injuries, then your right just do what you can. Honestly, eating well and following your plan this early out, will still get you wonderful results.

I will admit, I have done no vigorous exercising, or hitting the gym since surgery. Been some issues with that. Ever since surery, I have not been able to tolerate my CPAP. I was told for the first couple months that is somewhat normal. Made me feel very bloated and made my stomach feel uncomfortable. I tried a different times after to see if I could tolerate it and I just couldn't. My energy has been on the lower side of things, and in the summer it started to rebound, but late September, my energy level crashed. It's started to get better the last couple weeks. My GP thinks it could be seasonal affect disorder. Of course my Sleep Apnea is a mystery, because the theory is that either, my Sleep Apnea is gone, or has gotten better where i need less pressure than is currently prescribed. I have a sleep study in the spring, to see if I will still need the CPAP. So, yeah, lack of energy.and motivation has big a big reason my lack of exercise.

Either way if its SAD, then my energy will continue to get better, if I still need my CPAP, in a few months I will have the right prescription to tolerate it, and get back on track.

Besides the fact that I need to start toning up, although I know there is only so much toning up I will be able to do. The lose skin issue has been interesting as I had no idea what to expect. I expected it to be worse then what is (yes I have problem areas) but just expected it to be a lot worse. I still have 40 to 50 lbs to go so who knows. I thought my stomach/arms would be my area of contention, but to my surprise my stomach isn't as bad as I thought it would be. My arms bother me yes, but its my hips/upper thighs that bug me the most.

I will definitely be looking into plastics at some point, but like most, whether its financially feasible like you say is another. I would definitely have to look into financing, but even then I couldn't afford to have everything I want done. I don't want to go into super debt. I figure at best, I can afford a procedure or two (spaced out over a few years) depending on cost. I would love at this point to have a lower body lift, but that is very expensive, and don't think that will be feasible for me. Will have to see once I get down to goal, and start working out, I will have to see what I have to work with and what bothers me the most.

I'm glad things are going well, and sure things will go well on Wednesday for you.

Keep up the great work!

Amanda

Thanks Amanda!!

Sorry you're struggling with your CPAP and energy. It's good you're getting another sleep study, and looking at SAD. I'm just popping the D supplements and hoping for the best. But, yes. I'm frustrated I can't work out like so many others at the same point as me. I do believe you're right though and it's 90% diet which I feel I have a good handle on. When I lost all my weight 10 years ago it wasn't until was in the 160s that I started working out and the hardest part of that was it made me want to eat more and I was so paranoid of doing that. But still I think waiting is ok. I'm trying to be more active by enrolling my son in more physical activities and even getting out of the house to take him to those is so much more activity than I was doing pre surgery. I'm also really enjoying doing more at home. Just keeping busy doing chores and not feeling so weighed down is such a change to my day. I love being able to stand long enough to cook and not have my knees killing me. That's enough work out for me for now!

Having lost and gained so much my skin is really quite pitiful. I never had strong skin. It's very fine like tissue paper and yo-yo'ing over the past 20 years up to 300 then down to 159 then up to 329 and now back down....it's not going to be pretty. I'm reserving judgment until I'm at goal though and not sure how I'll feel but at least I kind of know what to expect. I kind of feel with all I've been through that skin removal is really the last part of this journey and would really help me emotionally but we shall see! My arms and tummy are the worst areas. They're already getting very long - as are my boobs! They're definitely worse this time post baby.

At this point though that's a far off concern. I can't wait for summer and skin or not I know I'm going to be feeling SO much better than I have in a long time.

Great chatting!! I'm so glad you're taking it day by day and doing so wonderful. I'm super proud of you Amanda! :)

Thank you Emily!!! Very proud of you too! Your doing great too!!

Yes, great chatting been awhile lol Should perhaps get back to writing emails to keep in touch with you and others who unless post on occasion I have no idea how things are going.

Keep in touch, and keep doing what you are doing! I can't wait to hear future updates from you.

I've been keeping up with the boards and trying to be active. Just probably not updating enough of my own story!! Will definitely try to do better!! Good reminder:) hope you keep I. Touch too. I love hearing how you and everyone else are doing!! :)