I'm new and have questions

Things To Do While Waiting For Waiting for Surgery

The thing is (and I know this all too well) you become somewhat obsessed with surgery once you've decided that you are going to go through with it. It's understandable because we know that it's going to be an amazing change especially after seeing so many of our friends go through this surgery or seeing the before and after photos. Quite frankly, we are also a society where we have very little sense of delayed gratification - we want what we want NOW. So I'm here to shed a little understanding on WHY the wait is crucial and what you can do to benefit you in the meantime.

You need to reframe your thinking on the whole process. This is not merely a set of hoops to jump through. To be a success with gastric bypass or sleeve you are going to need to make some drastic changes BEFORE surgery.

There's so much to learn, to know, and to understand that there needs to be a process for best outcomes. This is a HARD road. This is not brain surgery people. That's the problem. We get our bodies rerouted but we still have the same fat brain. That fat brain will want to sabotage us along the process. We have to outsmart it with education and by establishing some positive habits now.

We have SO much to learn through this process in order to be a success that I often suggest to people that they EMBRACE the time as preparation time for what is going to be the most amazing (but often challenging) time of your life. So start preparing now:

Prepare your Resources:

Begin by preparing your resources for surgery. I would suggest that most people read AT LEAST two good books on surgery to understand the basics. I've seen so many people not read a thing other than the handouts given by the surgical centre. There's barely any information there to be honest. The best resource I suggest is Weight Loss Surgery for Dummies. Truly I think it should be mandatory reading for anyone preop. Some other ones I like are the Real Skinny on WLS (Janeway) and the Complete Weight Loss Surgery Guide and Diet Program by Sue Ekserci.

Start a binder with ALL your resources given by your hospital. If you can get a copy beforehand, get a copy of your eating plan through your surgical centre. Start creating meal plans according to each food stage.

Make a shopping list. Know your eating stages like the back of your hand.

Try a few shakes but don't get carried away as your tastes may change. If you see any samples, buy them to try after surgery. Remember protein is key.

Learn what makes a good quality protein shake (low carb, high protein). Don't get fooled by people you know that might want to try and sell you their inferior shake that "worked for them".

Learn and read! Collect recipes and calculate nutritional info if possible.

Write down a list of complications and what to watch for. Learn and read your message boards every day.

See what it is like as a new post op after surgery. Follow specific peoples stories as they go through the process. They might be good mentors to learn from (or even those of what not to do!).

Research your hotel options and travel options for your spouse if you are traveling. I did this months ahead for my hubby so that I knew where we would stay, routes and even shopping areas. Loved ones will benefit from your thoroughness.

Document every visit to your dietician, social worker etc. Keep your homework. Write down your responses and document what you've learned as you go through. You'll appreciate your thoroughness later!

You need to know these things. Learn the difference between dumping syndrome, foamies and things getting stuck.

Read about a stricture, hypoglycemia, slider foods, plateau/stall, NSAID (we cannot have them), malabsorption, restriction, ketosis, why carbs matter, vitamins, etc.

Read and read and then read some more! (Seriously!).

Read about what dumping syndrome is and why you cannot count on having it.

Learn what the expected loss rate is.

Learn about things that you can do to increase your rate of loss.

The bariatric centre won't tell you all things. Some people lose 50 lbs, other lose 150...find out the differences to their level of success.

Prepare Your Mind:

I have always said that the mental aspects of this surgery are the hardest. While the six months to a year are fairly easy (albeit the first 6 weeks can be TOUGH), after that this surgery is going to be hard. Explore the issues that have lead you to this point.

Look into whether you have an eating disorder, learn about what your patterns are and why you've gotten here.

What are you replacing with food? Are you a binge eater? Emotional eater? Boredom eater?

Start working on these issues now because some time after a year, it is no longer going to be a constant high and the amounts that you'll be able to eat will be greater.

I'm going to be honest here and say that there is a failure rate for surgery. Some people do gain all or most of their weight because they have not dealt with these issues. You need to know that and really start to explore your eating issue.

Do you just "like food"? Is it instant gratification? Then it's time to start teaching yourself about delayed gratification. Yes, it's going to be about willpower again certainly after a point. Start to teach yourself about discipline, putting off a craving, finding other outlets for emotions and stress. I know this sounds preachy but my surgical centre did nothing about this and I really wish they'd did. At 2 years out I had to find therapy in community and was lucky that I had it.

Utilize your centre's dietician and social worker for these changes. Start making big changes now. You can only benefit from this. Start exercising. Start getting rid of all the negatives in your life. Time for a positive change. Get rid of the baggage.

Listen CLOSELY to the stories of the veterans and their struggles. There is a bit of time. Where you feel like you are invincible and that you will never ever have food issues again. You need to know that they do come back. You will not be a perfect bariatric patient forever. I just feel like you will never be that person again but you will! Old habits die very hard and overtime we can easily become lax with our habits. No one is immune.

Prepare Your Family or Spouse:

There may need to be some changes in your house. Although you cannot DEPEND on your family to go through all the same changes as you, you will need their support and their help especially for the first 2-4 weeks. Time to prepare everyone about what you'll be needing and what they'll need to do to pitch in to make your recovery smoother. Remember too - if you are keeping your surgery a secret, you need to draw boundaries with your family as often the "secret" gets out.

Track other people's journeys:

As you see some people preparing for surgery that will have surgery before you, watch their journeys. Read how they manage the first month out. Look at what they struggle with, how they solve their problems and record and write down what you learn. You'll only benefit from what you learn.

Find Mentors:

Find a mentor - whether online or in person. Find someone that wouldn't mind you emailing them if a question should arise. You might be feeling panicky after surgery or you might not want to post everything to the masses online. Find that person who you've learned from and respect and who will give you quality, sound advice. Find someone who is stable and secure. If they seem flighty or highly emotionally charges, stay away. Find someone who seems to give helpful advice and is willing to answer your questions. Find someone you relate to. Actually, if anything, find MORE THAN ONE mentor. Sometimes people fall off the face of the earth or they might get to a point that they are struggling themselves and might not respond. Always nice to have a backup.

Find a Support Group:

Look for a support group in your area. Many communities have them. If you can get to one in a nearby community, I think it is just as valuable and worth a trip. Bring your spouse if they are a bit leery of surgery or bring a friend who is willing to support your surgery. Face to face contact is important. You have to be careful who you trust to be a mentor and seeing people in person may help you find someone. Don't be hestitant to email someone in your support group, they probably will be more than happy to help you. Even go out for coffee if they are willing. It helps to settle the nerves when you have a one on one talk. Go to meetings. Sometimes newbies feel a disconnect from the people in their support group. To quote one of the members in my support group, "Suck up every bit of information" from people that you can learn from, especially from people that have been there, done that. Experience is an amazing teacher. Taking advice from someone who has not gone through the surgery can be iffy at best. Learn from others. This is by far the most valuable piece. Make connections of support. Some times that means "putting yourself out there" and it is worth the risk!

I wish you well in your journey. Embrace the time you have now. You may find that before you know it, you'll feel a sense of panic because surgery "has come so soon!". It can be a funny thing!

Good luck, my friend!

This is the post that everyone going on this journey should read. This is brilliant advice from a bonafide vet.

Everything that Dawn is saying is to help you be successful.

Dawn I love that you and the other vets unselfishly take the time to write out posts like this. So well said.

thank you so much I am very grateful that you can share your detailed insights with me and others based on your own experience.

Would you mind if I shared this on The Waterloo/Wellington Gastric Bypass Support Group with credit to you of course?

Thx Morgan

If course :-)

Thank you so much for this. I really appreciate the time you have taken to post it and will definitely take your advice. I am just starting my journey and yes! I want it and I want it now. But after reading this, I am definitely going to slow my role.

Hi, I just wanted to pop in to say welcome.

Thank you.

Hi! I am going through Humber as well. My referral went in in July and my Orientation was in October. I had my first surgeon app in December and my next apps are scheduled for March. I am just over the qualifying BMI and don't have to many other medical issues. There doesn't seem to be any predictable time lines or reasons for them. There seems to be the biggest discrepancies between referral and orientation and then from orientation to first surgeon appt. When I went to the orientation I did bring all the forms filled out from my family doctor so that they weren't waiting on that so maybe that helped a bit? My best friend is also going through Humber and her time from referral to surgery was 8 months ( her surgery is tomorrow! ) It looks like mine may be about 10 months based on what my surgeon said ( that I'd likely be about 2 months from my trio appt). Good luck!!

I'm a different centre to you (I'm in Sudbury so we do our appointments up here and then go to St. Joe's for surgery).

I was referred April 28th 2017 and my surgery is Feb 27th so 10 months almost to the day. I didn't need a sleep study, colonoscopy/endoscopy (I had already had these done for something else) and I made sure I always had everything prepared before appointments like my blood work was redone before my NP appointment because I knew they'd ask for it as my Vitamin D was low at the original blood works (it was up with the 2nd lot of bloods because I started taking supplements as recommended on here).

Good luck in your journey!