Not here for judgements!

I am interested in knowing how you would support someone who has major regain. What suggestions would you make? For me it is easy to read someone's post and incorrectly interpret their intentions in the post. We have all been or currently are obese on these forums. We have all faced judgement because of our appearance.

My intention is always to try to help with suggestions or shared experience. My wish is that we all succeed in what is an incredibly difficult journey. In an attempt to encourage I will say things like "back away from the cookies" in a light hearted way to remind the poster that they are stronger than that craving, and they do have the power to walk away. The mindfulness of eating is one of the hardest parts to master and I'm not sure that it is ever fully accomplished. Surgery will not cure cravings or bad choices. Surgery will not cure eating disorders. Surgery will not make you perfect. Surgery will give you a chance to work harder on yourself and hopefully obtain a stronger healthier longer life.

You are being helpful... not judging.... congrats on your success !

My best suggestion for anyone new to the boards is to pick a couple of boards and read, read, read! You'll pretty quickly get an idea of who knows what they're talking about, who is pretty clueless and who's just an asshat!

What I wouldn't do is make a post complaining about mean and judgemental people. It's the easiest way to give you a (probably and hopefully) unfair label of a forum nanny and it rarely ends well.

Don't rush to judgement on people here, most are helpful and have the best of intentions and some know enough to have inside jokes and to pull each other's legs. It's not always easy to read intentions, especially if you don't know who's who in the zoo.

Also, don't rush to block people, there are a couple of newbies on OH who have blocked most of the vets (5 years +) because they didn't get the responses they wanted. Here's a clue, if every vet thinks you are doing something inadvisable, chances are ... you're probably not making the best choices!

Like most forums, we have our fair share of repeat whiners and out and out crazies who attract curt replies because whatever help they're offered, they never listen and do nothing to help themselves.

Anywhoooo, don't be a stranger, being plugged into a support network is key to long term success!!!

LOL....so true.. I am not new ... and I have been around for a bit ... wise suggestions.. you should see what happened when I post about carbs..LOL...Thank you and most here are lovely and helpful and I get inspired everyday by them!!!!!!!!!!!

I just thought compassion .... for all that's all....

Unfortunatly, not everyone has compassion or empathy and I'm afraid that if they don't have it as a grown adult, they're a hopeless case.

Invest in those who are helpful and kind and scroll on past those who arent.

You are a sweetheart!

I like this board much better than other boards/facebook groups because there seems to be far less drama on it. Mind you, sometimes issues inevitably creep in. I totally get it about the sensitivity of feeling judged. This process is highly emotional and everyone is at a different stage than the rest, so words and advice feel different to everyone. One of my good friends had WLS two years ago and speaks very differently about people with weight issues/struggles now than she did before she had her surgery. There seems to be less empathy with her (not saying this is the case with everyone). I don't think she realizes that she does this and sometimes it is a big jarring. It's part of her growth i suppose. She knows what works for her and thinks everyone should be like that too, even when they don't have the same 'tools' in their kit just yet. I just try to take it all with a grain of salt and look forward to my own upcoming journey and hope for success too. People will always have their own opinions and strategies and for the most part, they mean well. Focus on you and what you need and filter out anything you perceive as negative if you can. Life is too short to let stuff like that take up space in your head.

Hugs,

D.

Thank you.. My compassion and my empathy has actually grown more since I have been losing weight. The struggles are real.. and I applaud and encourage us all