Orientation, Invisibility and Isolation in Guelph!

Hi Guy 57, Thanks for sharing your experience. I am headed for Guelph Orientation On Sept 28 /17. I too am a over researcher. In fact I have been researching for over 5 years. This is my second time through the process. I got all the way through the program and had a surgery date set, but I just wasn't ready I backed out. I had a number of reasons for the change of mind and heart..but it all boiled down to be ready, mentally, physically, emotionally and for me spiritually. My husband also wasn't ready! Now we are set to travel to Guelph...Guelph picked me also! lol last time I went through HRRH. I am guessing they just changed their maps and assigned centers around. I am doing very little/to no research right now...because I think I did far too much the last time. I look forward to updating you on my experience and observations in 2wks. This can be an overwhelming process I am glad to have the folks here on the forum to share with.

Hello Fellow Guelph Alumnist! ;-D

Am I misinterpreting or are You doing this with your husband simultaneously??!?!? Years ago when I had Lasik surgery... a friend of mine did it at the same time. It was invaluable to have someone to share the experience with... and someone to complain to who would understand! hahahahaha!

I literally can't wait 2 weeks to hear what you felt about the experience!! Now try and forget everything I've written... so I don't bias your experience in any way. I hope you have a roomful of bubbly fellow travellers who chat your ears off (unlike what I did or didn't do!)

Thanks for sharing.... and you realize we are forever linked as Guelphers! ;-D

Guy 57

Hi, congrats on getting through orientation; you're on your way.

I went through Sudbury, which takes care of people in Northern Ontario. We do all of our pre and post op meetings there, either in person or via telehealth, and they schedule the surgeries in Toronto for us.

For me it is a 4 hour drive to Sudbury, and a 10 hour drive to Toronto (so I chose to fly to Toronto both times as my surgery and pre op meetings took place in winter, with white out conditions).

In Sudbury, for orientation and for the one month follow up group meeting, I found that we all wanted to connect but the people running the orientation were on a strict time line and were bound and determined to do everything as fast as possible so they could leave early, including working through lunch. So every time we tried to talk amongst ourselves, they intervened. We did get to connect while waiting for the next presenter to come in but that was it.

Most of their information could have easily been presented online, and they spent a long time making us look at empty food box labels to check their calorie/carb/sugar/protein/fat content. That was such a waste of time because I doubt there are any WLS patients alive who haven't already tried a zillion diets and already know how to check labels perfectly well.

At one meeting I met a lady in the elevator who'd had surgery the year before, and we spoke briefly, and I learned more from her than I did from the entire orientation. I suggested it would be helpful if they could hire a successful WLS patient to speak at orientation, as it would be more meaningful to hear from someone who has gone through the process. I'm not sure they were very receptive of that idea.

They should have an online forum for everyone going through the process together, so we could support each other. They told me there are support groups but I was unable to find any locally that are still meeting. OH has been my support, and I'm also a member of the Youtube weight loss community (Shrinking Kathy). If I just had to rely on locals, I'd feel extremely isolated, but with OH and Youtube, I feel like a part of a vibrant community.

Hey Kathy1212! ;-)

OMG!!!! YOU are Shrinking Kathy?!?!?! I looked you up and you are most definitely a YouTube star! Very natural and totally accessible! You look adoreable!!!! Why don't you post your videos on this forum? Can we do that???

I am soooooooo excited to see all your videos!!!!!!

Compared to your story... whining about my two hour drive makes me such a cry baby!!! hahahahaha!

You bring up some very succinct points! There are studies out there that say people who are overweight know more about nutrition than the average. I don't think that people are overweight... because they don't know what foods to eat.. or not to eat. Much like addicts are not addicted because they don't know drugs are bad. Food fills some need... dopamine... seratonin.... trauma... etc.

I also think that they should hire YOU! You're a great communicator and I think people would really respond to your experience. Keep up the great work on your channel!!!

I hope you're feeling better and congrats on the 3.2 lbs!!! ;-)

Guy 57

Thank you so much, Guy.

I'm a newbie to Youtube and am amazed by how supportive the community is. Deciding to put myself out there was huge for me as I am normally quite shy. I wanted to do it because I felt it would make me be more accountable if I had to report my losses (or lack thereof) every week. I also thought it would be nice to have a record of this process. If I can help others with my story, so much the better :-).

I'm feeling a bit better, and found out I don't have pneumonia, thank God, just bronchitis. Which I get any time I catch a cold or flu, unfortunately. The antibiotics are helping.

Take care.

You are a uniquely joyful person my friend!

The more I watch.. the more I am amazed at how you talk to nature.... and are so easy going when sharing your life! You have a future in this media for sure!!!! Great job!!!

Guy 57

Thank you, that is so kind.

My Mom thinks I'm crazy because I talk to all of the animals and birds, lol. I have a talking parrot and just got used to it, I think. There are birds along one of the nature trails *****cognise me now and fly over looking for handouts, lol.

I went through orientation and every other class, and never got a word in edge-wise. Literally did not speak one word in the classes. Partly my nature to "observe from the shadows", and partly because there were people there that really needed to talk things out more than I did. And that was totally fine. I was able to listen and relate at least a little bit to some things that were shared by the few talkers. I realized that there were people there that had much deeper rooted reasons and perhaps darker, psychologically heavier backgrounds than I did for going through this, and there were some like me that had just tried everything else and reached that point of frustration that pointed me in this direction. Truthfully, I realized that for whatever reason the weight went on for us all, the program was there to help deal with those reasons while preparing you for a complete and total life change that requires complete and total dedication for the tool (or gift, as I prefer to call it) to work. I think it's quite natural, especially based on my own life story, for most people to shy away from opening right up to a room full of strangers. I would think it particularly true in such a sensitive subject as weight control. Society has programmed shame into people for not fitting the mold, and the only shame to be found is that there's a mold in the first place.

Even with the medical tests, dieticians and the social worker sessions, I shared minimally (but openly with the correct attitude), because I was just ready to do all of this. I had zero inhibitions or concerns going on, and found the whole thing quite fascinating as I researched the bejeezus out of it. As a result, my sessions and appointments were all very quick, including the surgeon consult.

Hello CarlRay! ;-)

Welcome to the Researchers Bejeezus Club! It appears there are a lot of us out there! hahahahhahaa!!

Such interesting observations! I am a closet introvert as well.... though I can fake out being an extrovert with the best of them! ;-D I agree with you that it's natural for people to shy away from opening up in a room full of strangers... but there are little "tricks" that every facilitator uses to break down the social awkwardness. Maybe I was expecting a little bit more of an interactive experience. That being said... the way the room was set up... made it more of a lecture than an experience. Perhaps I am just not a fan of that style of learning.

Thank you for sharing my friend! I respect your privacy but I hope to hear more about your journey soon!

Guy 57

p.s. Love the way you put it! Break the mold... cause NO ONE can fit into it. It's an illusion for sure!

Kingston tried, bless them.... but for me its painful. Please dont ask me to talk in public! I sat there praying I would just disappear before they got to me, but sadly I remained and managed to squeak out my name and whatever it was they asked us to share, lol. Personally, I LIKE the lecture style, but I am not a closet introvert, I am very much as out as an introvert can be. I am an extrovert online, but I would not be so open in rl. Lots of awkward foot staring and hoping that whatever it is I said didnt sound as dumb as I think it did, etc. Yay social awkwardness/anxiety? :D That said, I was fine one on one, once I got to know the people there. But I am very much not a fan of the whole group session thing... orientation was one, the pre-surgical and then post-surgical classes being the others.

Note* Thinking back, it was the other two, pre and post op classes that they asked us to share. Orientation was treated as, and I think, IS, in fact a way to give the info as black and white as possible to weed out the "serious" candidates. There were several who shut down as soon as they heard "no smoking" and several who glazed over as soon as the "no to next to no caffeine" thing came up. Several were there who were debating just doing the optifast route and one woman brought pizza to eat during... havent seen her since, so not sure she went through with it.