Orientation, Invisibility and Isolation in Guelph!

Hello my fabulous friends!

Today was my orientation day in Guelph.

I set up the cameras in my car and recorded the two hour trip from Oshawa to Guelph with an incredibly rambling diatribe about nearly every topic ever thought of in regards to WLS. Fortunately I'm a professional editor.... so I wasn't worry that I couldn't erase the entire thing if there were no useable moments. hahahaha!!

The presenters were excellent... but I couldn't help but feel we were all thinking the same thing. How fast can I get all the required appointments booked... so we could proceed with the surgery as fast as humanly possible. I wonder if having an online introductory video with all the information would streamline the process... and then orientation would be more of a question/support group session.

One interesting observation that perhaps people could expand upon... is the isolation of this orientation session. Everyone was quite courteous; however, there was zero interaction between people in the session. Was this the same for everyone in their orientation sessions? Was it because people were used to being invisible to other humans... so when brought together...they were invisible to each other? It was quite disconcerting. That being said... I was part of this isolated group of life travellers... so it is not a judgement about "THEM"... as I AM THEM.

Guy 57

Hi Guy,

One I'm interested in why you're heading to Guelph? Just my own curiosity as I understand it's a quicker process. Only asking because I'm going through TWH and live in Courtice. We're neighbours!!

At my orientation I noticed very little interaction among participants, everyone just kept to themselves. Almost my entire orientation was made up of watching a video put out by TWH about the surgery and the process along with testimonials. In my research prior to orientation I had already watched the entire video making the orientation long and somewhat boring.

Did you receive any info regarding your next appointment or what happens next?

Hello Neighbour KarenKim! ;-)

I didn't pick Guelph... Guelph picked me! My doctor did the referral to the Bariatric Registry... and I got a letter in the mail telling me to go to Guelph Hospital.

Interesting observation about the participants in your group! I'm wondering if this is a common feeling amongst all the orientation groups! Also an interesting observation about the length of the process and the video. I emptied my cup (Old Chinese proverb) and went in hoping to discover something new; however, I did extensive research into WLS before the orientation. I'm an all-in kinda Guy (57)... so when I get focused on something... I tend to overdo it... over research it... over eat it... uh..... hopefully not the last one in future! ;-)

I have to call for my next appointment... and I have to complete a CRAVING CHANGE program. Do you guys have to do the same???

GUY 57

p.s. maybe there's a local support group in Durham that we can join? Have you hear of any?

I'm sure much of the reason people keep to themselves is embarrassment. I mean we want to undertake major surgery to fix something that we've all been told countless times should me manageable fairly easily. Well, from some people's point of view. I guess it's just that surgery is a last resort. For many it's life or death but like mental health it isn't talked about except in hushed tones and it's like admitting defeat that you couldn't overcome the issue on your own.

After my orientation I had a huge package to fill out and I opted to do my appointments via telehealth so I don't have to go into the city for them. Huge timesaver for me. So, I had to mail them all in prior to my first appointment which was yesterday. A behaviour questionnaire package, 3 day food log, blood work results were all included. We were instructed to pick 3 goals to work on. I chose cutting out soft drink, eating 3 meals a day.

I haven't located a support group locally yet. Perhaps we should start one.

Karen

Such an interesting observation! I wonder how many people go into an orientation session and start ordering the room by size? I am fatter than her... but not as fast as him.... etc? Is that human nature...or is that just part of being in a room with people with similar conditions? Do we internalize judgement... even when the judgement is about people that are exactly like us????

It's also interesting that there is such a difference between all the programs in Ontario. You'd think there was a uniform procedure... but it appears we're all doing different things in different orders.

A very nice person said they would possibly give us information on a local group. If not... it'll be the KarenKim and Guy 57 Support Extravaganza! ;-)

Thanks again for your insight neighbour Kim!

Guy 57

I didn't have to do the Craving Change program, but I chose to do it. I found a class in Oakville (a bit far for you) that offered it free of charge, one evening a week for three consecutive weeks.

Hopefully you can find it free as well by you!! When you google it, you'll get a lot of results. I did mine through Halton Diabetes/Maximizes Your Health (I am not diabetic, they don't ask, it's not a requirement).

I totally agree with you oneatatime! You'd think a course like that would be easy to find; however, I find a lot of dieticians who will teach the course on an individual basis for remuneration.... but no free local groups.

Thanks for the info... I'm on the hunt! ;-D

Guy 57

I felt like I was at a funeral when I went to my Orientation. Barely a word was spoken and if it was, it was in hushed tones.

I'm not sure about the invisibility angle. That's Deep! :) I never made eye contact with anyone other than the presenter. I was embarrassed that I was there. I hoped no one would notice me. I didn't want to talk to anyone. I wanted to be anywhere but in that room and yet it's what I wanted. Weird.

At the end of it, I felt shell shocked. I was anxious. It was like "WTH am I doing?" I didn't know what to do. Make the next appointment or walk out and never come back? Like a robot, I walked to the appointment desk and made the appointment to move on to the next step. I was in slow motion. It was almost surreal.

Maybe we're all just quiet because what we are considering is something so life altering that it's hard to get your head around. I mean, here we are begging for surgery to rearrange our whole digestive system to lose weight and it's going to be like that forever. FOREVER!

For real foodies, the realization that you may never be able to have a piece of cake or a bowl of ice cream again can be a real shock. I'm not sure everyone who goes to one of these things has done the research that you and I did before we went. It's got to be seriously eye opening.

That's Deep?!?!?! Sarcasm duly noted SweetRide1! hahahahaha!!

I think we've stumbled on a common experience about the orientation! Everything you wrote... was EXACTLY how I felt!!! There was anxiety as if my body and mind were being pulled apart in a virtual BRAVEHEART moment! I wanted the surgery sooooo badly.... at the same time realising the finality of the decision.

Being Italian... Food has dominated my life. My daughters are breaking into the TV industry as foodies (click here to check them out!) and I'm trying to break out of the food addiction! ;-D

Thanks for being confident enough to be vulnerable...and writing about your experience.... even with the sarcasm! hahahaha!

Guy 57

It's interesting to know that orientation is more of an information session rather than something more collaborative. I think I was expecting more interaction as well. Mine is next month in Hamilton, and I'm imagining it will be no different that your experience today.

I can understand the silence for the same reasons others mentioned - information overload and feeling awkward about being there in general.

Funny how you mention sizing everyone up in comparison to yourself. I do that almost everywhere I go. The panic that perhaps you are the biggest person in the room is rather unnerving. Thought it was just a girl thing. Guess not!